never felt this strongly before - close to slapping my child - Page 2

[moonchiald]

Sounds to me like he still needs a nap. If you haven't read Sleepless in America: is your child misbehaving or missing sleep, I highly recommend it.

[cmi]

I haven't been to MDCommune for a while and specifically logged on to look for advice on dealing with my 4.5-year old son who also has been pushing my buttons over the last month or so. It has been great to read all the suggestions and to know that others have gone through similar things.

One thing I was wondering--is there something about the age? I often watch my son's friend who is 3 months older and I remember him getting defiant and disrespectful about the time that school was getting out, which was about 3 months before my son started acting up more. Anyone else know if it could be partly a developmental thing?

I am definitely going to look at some of the suggested books. I have been yelling much more than I should, and if I had ever heard of throwing water, I'd probably have tried it (glad to know it wasn't successful so I won't have to try it ).

[J. Jones]

"Disrespect" is such a loaded idea for me too. Coming from a very authoritarian family - "disrepecting" your parents was the worst taboo a child could break. The toddler years with ds 4.5 sent me into some deep processing of this ingrained vaulue system. I think it was Playful Parenting (and MDC *heart*) that gave me language and new thoughts on asking why he must "respect" me just because I'm his parent. Teaching him empathy and heathy communication is my goal. If he's disrespecting me it's because he's actually not able to draw the strength or instict needed for modulating his strong emotions (hunger, etc). I've learned to watch for the "he's disrespecting me" emotional trigger in myself (and dh) and work on those values during me-time so when the trigger gets set off, I can see him as a struggling young child who has unmet needs, not someone who needs to be "taught" anything about respect in that tense moment. Great responses here, as always, love y'all.