My DH and I are trying our best. We're sleep-deprived with the baby and now charting new territory with our 3 year old. Our DS has always been great at communicating his wants/needs. When he started showing preferences (maybe 2ish) I began to give him a choice between things that were options (red shirt or yellow, sandals or sneakers, peach or apple, etc.). Now that DS is 3 he's become accustomed to choosing many things. I thought that this would give him a sense of independence and control. Now, though, he will demand a choice when there isn't one or refuse to cooperate to the point of a tantrum or other outburst like spitting or hitting (ugh!). My DH thinks that we may have given him too much opportunity for choice and now he thinks he deserves it at every turn. It seems to make sense, but I'm not convinced that this wouldn't have happened if we didn't offer him choices.
Now his daycare provider (3 days a week) is telling me that he is starting to refuse to eat lunch with everyone else (asking to eat when everyone is finished), won't sit in a circle at music time, and won't clean up with everyone else. She told me she tries to give him choices when appropriate, but she wants him to understand that there are certain things that "we all must do in a group"
I almost think it is a phase and would rather not really rock the boat too much, but maybe it isn't and if it's not would I end up raising a spoiled, indulgent, selfish child??????
I'm new to gentle discipline as a theory, however, i would guess that I have been parenting like that already. I still have tons to learn.
My question, I guess, is do I continue to give him choices and how do I deal with things that are non-negotiable. Also, how do I offer his daycare provider ways to handle the behavior.
Now his daycare provider (3 days a week) is telling me that he is starting to refuse to eat lunch with everyone else (asking to eat when everyone is finished), won't sit in a circle at music time, and won't clean up with everyone else. She told me she tries to give him choices when appropriate, but she wants him to understand that there are certain things that "we all must do in a group"
I almost think it is a phase and would rather not really rock the boat too much, but maybe it isn't and if it's not would I end up raising a spoiled, indulgent, selfish child??????
I'm new to gentle discipline as a theory, however, i would guess that I have been parenting like that already. I still have tons to learn.
My question, I guess, is do I continue to give him choices and how do I deal with things that are non-negotiable. Also, how do I offer his daycare provider ways to handle the behavior.
