Why Decide on Getting an Epidural BEFORE Labor? - Page 6

[rhiandmoi]

Women choose to get an epidural for many reasons. For some it is an empowering decision, for some it is based on the status quo, for some it is based on fear. But except for very rare exceptions every woman going for a vaginal delivery will feel some labor pains, as unless there are extenuating circumstances you can't get an epidural until you reach 5 cms in most US hospitals, and I'd guess that would be the same in most other countries where epidurals are routinely given.

[mamazee]

My mom had a kind of second-gen feminist take on this. When I told her I was going to go for NCB, she said that women used to be forced to endure the pain of childbirth, like it was something men had used to control women. I'd bet there are a lot of people who feel that way.

Anyway, I did NCB both times, but if the pain would have become more than I felt I could handle or had lasted for a really long amount of time, I would have used pain relief, and I would have been fine with it. I value my children, but I also value myself.

[pookel]

This kind of reminds me of that "What to Expect ..." lady who recommended thinking, before every bite you take, "is this the very best food for my baby?" And if it was, say, a doughnut made with processed sugar, you should put it down and not eat even one bite, because it's just for nine months. What kind of terrible mother would you have to be to not make every bite the very best for your baby?

[Lousli]

OMG, I remember that part of the book! I think I threw it at the wall, lol.

[pookel]

I think there's something to be said about not having impossibly high expectations. It's great to aim for a more natural ideal, but IMO, insisting that you won't budge an inch is just setting yourself up for failure. Everything might go perfectly for a while ... maybe even for years ... but kids have a way of making you rethink your perfect plans.

[Talula Fairie]

Originally Posted by pookel

I think there's something to be said about not having impossibly high expectations. It's great to aim for a more natural ideal, but IMO, insisting that you won't budge an inch is just setting yourself up for failure. Everything might go perfectly for a while ... maybe even for years ... but kids have a way of making you rethink your perfect plans.

YES.

This.

[thismama]

I had natural childbirth for the high. Seriously. I don't get this 'for the baby' stuff. At some point I forgot I even had a baby in there!

[BeckyBird]

I had a natural birth with my son. After it was all over, I said "I don't blame any woman for wanting to get an epidural!"

To each her own, ladies! What is right for one may not be right for another.

[bits and bobs]

Originally Posted by MegBoz

This is a discussion forum and I'm simply trying to have a "discussion." I'm curious & would like to know why other people make the decisions they do, so I'm asking.
Asking, "So why did you do that?" is not "snarking at you."

Yes, what others choose doesn't impact my life. But I'm curious so I'm asking for them to share their point of view - and if you've read my replies, I HAVE been enlightened & I've thanked those posters for sharing info/views/thoughts that were new to me.

If you don't care to share & express your point of view, that's cool too. I think the same could be said for every thread on everything... share your opinion, experience, outlook, or don't.

You might be having a "discussion" but there are some seriously judgmental mammas snarking away here.

[tinyblackdot]

I said that i was going to try to do it naturally, but once i got in there my DH was scared out of his mind, my family and friends where there and all just "hanging out" i didnt want to make them feel uncomfortable, and i was already having to get petocin, i knew it wasn't going to get any better, and i knew if i let it go on longer, i was going to turn into a raging b@tch, and i didnt want that to me the memory of my dd's birth. So i did it.

I do however regret it everyday.

[tinyblackdot]

Originally Posted by BetsyS

But, see? That's why everyone has their different thresholds for what they think is okay. I think that as long as women are able to decide on their own, that we ought to support whatever decisions they come up with.

That is a beautiful statement! :

[Youngfrankenstein]

Originally Posted by tinyblackdot

I said that i was going to try to do it naturally, but once i got in there my DH was scared out of his mind, my family and friends where there and all just "hanging out" i didnt want to make them feel uncomfortable, and i was already having to get petocin, i knew it wasn't going to get any better, and i knew if i let it go on longer, i was going to turn into a raging b@tch, and i didnt want that to me the memory of my dd's birth. So i did it.

I do however regret it everyday.

My second birth had a lot of emotional extra stuff attached to it like this and I did have an epi at the end. For about an hour. Looking back, it probably kept me from a c-section. It was all circumstantial but the birth was great, I felt great after and baby nursed like a champ.

Anyone can dissect that birth as "my fault" I had the epi and it totally was but honestly, it was an educated decision at the time, in that EXACT circumstance...I don't feel I can decide that for someone else...

Having said that, I look forward to what will by probably my last birth and have it be as natural as possible. Not in a militant way but it's something I'd want to experience that way.

[ericswifey27]

Originally Posted by magstphil

I don't understand this. What do you mean it is where we are at now?

I guess by "where we are at now" I meant that in this day and age, we as women are not often told the whole story when it comes to modern day birth practices. I didn't mean "we" as in MDC mamas but society in general. I am just remembering how I thought I was informed with my first, even after spending many long hours of research, and then realizing that I was not, ykwim? I bought a whole bunch of bs anyway despite my good intentions But now if I chose to have an epidural I know it would be for a darn good reason, whereas I know for a fact that was not the case with my first labor.

[annie2186]

********ONLY READ THE FIRST PAGE********

Have any of you seen the movie - I think it is "Baby's Momma" or something. I have never watched it - but just saw the part where the "doula" or something of that nature in a birthing class asked if any of the ladies were going to get an epidural "for their own selfish reasons" and the lady stood up and shouted "here!!!" or something of that nature.

WELL THAT WOULD BE ME!! :

But in all seriousness - I don't want a natural birth, have never wanted a natural birth and can't imagine ever wanting a natural birth. Since reading these forums I maybe want a natural birth 1%

Am I a baby? Absolutely! Do I respect all of you fearless momma's who birth naturally? Absolutely! Do I want to join you? ummmmm, no.......

My reasons are just my own - I have the idea of what natural childbirth would be, and I don't want it - no matter what kind of rush you get. I get a rush when I have my babies!

My oldest sisters DD1 was totally natural. She watched my other sister in horrendous back labor, about to die, and then get the epidural - and you should have seen the look on her face! Like she was sooo pissed she went through natural birth! LOL

She went on to have I think - 2 epidurals.

Anyway - back to me - I have had two LO. My first ended up being an emergency C/S (didn't have the epidural yet - I had a spinal for the c/s)

My second birth - I went into labor because I was severly deyhadrated due to the 24 hour flu I had caught. Couldn't keep anything down and I dry heaved when I didn't even try to drink anything.

After already being sick for 20 hours I was in the hospital with HORRIBLE contractions which were making me dry heave EVERY SINGLE CONTRACTION! It was probably the worst expierience ever.........I got my epidural - and it was HEAVEN - I went to SLEEP! I finally got some precious much much much needed rest before having to push out my precious baby! If I didn't get that rest - I don't know what would have happened.......

So anyways, to answer the original posters question - not only do some people decide to get an epidural before the actual labor, but some of us (ME) decide on an epidural before even being pregnant!! LOL

If I had to have a birth with no pain medication of COURSE I would handle it (I mean, what choice do I have) same as a bad epidural.

Personally, I don't care if people judge me.............that's their problem, not mine. I don't judge them because they want to do it naturally, or do an unassisted home birth..........if something goes wrong when they have a baby due to their choices, that is on them - same as me with my choices!

Anywhoo - sorry if its a tad rambly - I need some sleep!

[annie2186]

Well, I sorta/kinda read a few more pages, and before I go off and tell my LO's that I don't value their lives........

I just thought I would add that BF for me was easy.....My DD1 was an emergency c/s - milk didn't come in for days, had to nurse until she was crying because she was hungry - feed her a bottle, start the process over in 20 min. I think for the first 5 days she was constantly at the breast...fun times Then my milk came in and all was good with the world, no more problems!

Second time around was much the same - baby had a slightly high temp when she came out due to my sickness, milk didn't come in for 2 days - now 8 months later still BF exclusively.

I think to paint a picture and say "this happens when you do this", or "this happens when you do that" is an unrealistic thing to do and for some women can make them feel like a failure when it doesn't work like that!

Just my opinion though........what I do works for me - and my kids know I love them, and that is truly all that matters in the end, for each and every one of us

[MegBoz]

Originally Posted by thismama

I had natural childbirth for the high. Seriously. I don't get this 'for the baby' stuff. At some point I forgot I even had a baby in there!

Yeah, I wanted NCB because I found the idea of being paralyzed from the waist down & out of control of my own body to be horrific & traumatizing. I also didn't like the idea of the risks to me of spinal headache, pain at the epidural site, & increased risk of worse tears.

The impact on the baby was barely even on my list of reasons to go natural. The evidence I've seen seems pretty conclusive that the risks to the baby are very very minor.

[thismama]

It is true tho that there is a lot of misinformation and people DO very frequently choose epidural and hospital birth because they are misinformed. Not that it's not possible to be informed and choose it, but vast majority of the time ppl just have no clue about the options or believe the fear and hype about how bad labour is. That is true.

eta - If someone is choosing natural, guaranteed they are more informed than the average bear. That is reality.

[Lousli]

Eh, whatever. It isn't the hill I want to die on.

But, my first was a standard hospital birth, and it went quite well, no complications, and it was a joyous day for my husband and myself.

And, while I understand that there is a ton of negative portrayal of birth all around us, "the fear and hype of how bad labor is" just doesn't cut it for me. For many, many women, labor is that bad.

[MegBoz]

Originally Posted by Lousli

Eh, whatever. It isn't the hill I want to die on.

Is this a reply to me personally? If so, could you please elaborte? I don't know what you mean here.

As for "how bad labor is" - again, there is a world of difference between talking about how bad the "hospital ride" is (i.e. how birth is medically managed) & how painful labor really is for many women. They are 2 different issues.

I abhor the typical ANTI-evidence-based maternity care practices of most American hospitals & HCPs.
But I don't blame ANY Mama for wanting an epidural. Not in the least.
These are two totally different issues.

[Lousli]

Originally Posted by MegBoz

Is this a reply to me personally? If so, could you please elaborte? I don't know what you mean here.

What I mean is that I don't want to really debate this to death. Clearly there are some people here who will not see eye-to-eye with me on this one. I just try to step in for the mamas who have had epidurals and are feeling shame and guilt because of it. Or who had them and feel fine about it, but read subtle put-downs of their choice here and elsewhere.

It's been 4.5 years since I had a baby, and I'm likely not having any more. Personally, it doesn't really affect me any more. Just trying to give a different perspective. Some of the people here are just so gosh-darn firm in their stances, and have never walked a mile in another person's shoes.