Originally Posted by eclipse
The problem I have with parents using this ("No you can't wear that because it's for girls") is that it makes it even more difficult for those children who choose not to conform in this way. Why do you think kids would tease and make fun of a boy wearing a dress? It's because people, like their parents, are telling them that boys don't do that, so what are they supposed to think/feel/do when they come face to face with a boy who does, in fact, do that?
FTR, I would never say "you can't wear that" about this kind of issue. I just wouldn't provide a dress for my young son.
I don't have an issue with gendered clothing. I like
gendered clothing. To me, gendered clothing is a tool we can all use to express ourselves (transgendered definitely included, since it has come up). I am open with my young children about gendered clothing. I see it as information about our culture--and, yes, I qualify it as our culture, literally saying "In our current culture...." when talking to my 8 yo.
I also do not have an issue with nonconformity. As I've said, if my older son understood the gender implications and chose to wear a dress, I'd support that.
I teach my dc to accept others as they are, as long as they are not hurting anyone. If my dc see a boy in a dress, they will recognize the boy is making and unconventional choice--and that is ok. I remind them of times they've made unconventional choices. I guess I just don't see the point of ignoring that it is
an unconventional choice in our current culture (and not in some hip subculture) for a boy/man to wear a dress. If my dc saw a transgendered woman in a dress, I'd explain that she is a woman
, even if her outer appearance doesn't obviously reflect that.