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Would you let your son wear a dress/skirt? - Page 8

post #141 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by JollyGG View Post
So I guess I found a fashion trend that females don't do that boys can. And I found out I'm more open about my son wearing a nail polish or a dress than I am my daughter sporting a Mohawk.
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That's a great example! I've known lots of little boys with mohawks (often encouraged by the parents). I have yet to see a little girl with one. Is that different in different areas?
post #142 of 183
Quote:
He has long hair and is "beautiful" and people often think he's a girl, and that's fine, because there is nothing wrong with being a girl, sometimes people think he's a boy, and that's fine because there is nothing wrong with being a boy.
You know, those who do prefer gender distinctions don't believe there is something wrong with being one gender or another.

I have boys. There is nothing wrong with being a girl, but they *are* boys, and they are not girls.
post #143 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnmama View Post
The clothing rules for boys/men are a reflection of women's value, not the cause of women's value.
How we allow us to reflect a woman's value affect how those who learn from us (i.e. our children) value women. If we continue to reflect a woman's value as less then men then how do our children learn otherwise?
post #144 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnmama View Post
FTR, I would never say "you can't wear that" about this kind of issue. I just wouldn't provide a dress for my young son.
Would you even refuse to provide a dress for your young son if he 1) expressed a strong desire to wear one and 2) exhibited emotional distress because he isn't allowed one?

Some people start young in their desire to express who they truely are.
post #145 of 183
Quote:
You know, those who do prefer gender distinctions don't believe there is something wrong with being one gender or another.

I have boys. There is nothing wrong with being a girl, but they *are* boys, and they are not girls.
true. but there is also nothing wrong with boys that want to be like girls or to be girls. nothing wrong with girls who want to be boys.

it might seem wrong to some - and make many many people uncomfortable, but it is clearly unhelpful to try to force someone to be who they are not...so while their genitals say they are a boy, what if the rest of them identifies with girl? does it end completely at the set of genitals they wind up with?

capp...not referring specifically to your boys! just boys generally...specifically ones who might identify as girls...
post #146 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnmama View Post
That's a great example! I've known lots of little boys with mohawks (often encouraged by the parents). I have yet to see a little girl with one. Is that different in different areas?
I think it is, mohawks are not gendered here. They are just an occasionally neat hairstyle from the 80's that you only see on kids or punk rockers.
post #147 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by cappuccinosmom View Post
You know, those who do prefer gender distinctions don't believe there is something wrong with being one gender or another.

I have boys. There is nothing wrong with being a girl, but they *are* boys, and they are not girls.
Boys can't wear dresses though. Boys can wear girls clothes. I have a friend who is a boy, grew up to be a straight, non-gender confused man... He spend a couple of years with a wardrobe made up entirely of clothing from the little girls department because he flat out refused to wear any of the "icky boy stuff". It was either girls clothes or nude. His parents could have forced him into boy clothes and not honoured his preference, but they chose not to for no other reason then to teach their son that he can be whoever he wants and like whatever he wants. He is now married and father of four who still likes the colour pink.

So... dressing like the opposite gender doesn't dictate ones gender either pysically or psychologically. It just dictates someones likes and dislikes.
post #148 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
Would you even refuse to provide a dress for your young son if he 1) expressed a strong desire to wear one and 2) exhibited emotional distress because he isn't allowed one?

Some people start young in their desire to express who they truely are.
Yes, if the desire/reaction were extreme (rather than simply wanting to mimic his big sister), I would certainly honor that.

eta--but, my dc would still have the information about how society views gendered clothing. I guess my biggest point is that I don't understand pretending that society does not gender type dresses. To me, that seems to be a bit fearful (as if it will harm a child to know that dresses are for "girl clothing" in our society). The way I see it, I prefer to be honest about the issue.
post #149 of 183
my son never asked so I never had to consider it. He, at 6, wouldn't be caught dead in a skirt.

I'd probably warn him that, in this country, mostly just girls wear skirts. If he wants to wear one that is fine... but some other people may not understand why a boy is wearing a skirt.
post #150 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnmama View Post
Yes, if the desire/reaction were extreme (rather than simply wanting to mimic his big sister), I would certainly honor that.

eta--but, my dc would still have the information about how society views gendered clothing. I guess my biggest point is that I don't understand pretending that society does not gender type dresses. To me, that seems to be a bit fearful (as if it will harm a child to know that dresses are for "girl clothing" in our society). The way I see it, I prefer to be honest about the issue.
No ones said not to let your child know that society won't always look kindly on it. Just that using that as reason to not allow your son to wear a dress doesn't make much sense.

Society as a whole tends to be illogical about many things.
post #151 of 183
Quote:
So... dressing like the opposite gender doesn't dictate ones gender either pysically or psychologically. It just dictates someones likes and dislikes.
yeah, that too.
post #152 of 183
If my son wanted to - yes. So far he has shown no interest in wearing a dress but picked out his very own and very much loved pair of pink crocs - and he likes to wear glitter on his cheeks too! lol
He is wearing a kilt to a wedding we are going to - which he does call a skirt! lol - When it comes to traditional clothing like that, where is the line?
post #153 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
No ones said not to let your child know that society won't always look kindly on it. .
That hasn't actually been clear to me throughout the thread. It seemed to me the op is planning to get a dress for her 2.5 yo boy without explaining that dresses are girl clothing in our society. But maybe I misunderstood?

To clarify, I don't care what the op does with her son . I have a different approach, and my own reasons for that, and to each their own.
post #154 of 183
I haven't read the other responses, but, yes I would let my son wear a skirt/dress. I do believe that there are differences between the genders, however I don't believe that it should be expressed in how we dress. Clothes are clothes, people. And I don't care a fig what society says. If I lived my life around society's standards, I'd be a completely different person than I am.
post #155 of 183
Quote:
Originally Posted by JollyGG View Post
I'd probably have a discussion very similar to the one we had about nail polish when he was 4.

DS: Will you paint my nails
Me: Sure

The next day when he had daycare in the morning

Me: Do you want me to take the nail polish off.
DS: No
Me: Do you want to wear it to daycare
DS: Yes, I like it
Me: You may get made fun off (brief discussion about why and what types of things people might say)
DS: I like it. I don't want to take it off
Me: Okay. Lets talk about some ways to handle it if someone makes fun of you...........

This is very close to the types of discussions I have with my DS who is 4.5.

DS has worn a tinkerbell outfit with wings, and a minnie mouse dress with high heels (his Grandmother bought these for him at his request) out in public many, many times. I would let him wear a dress/skirt too, if he wanted, but he's never asked for that specifically.
He has plenty of other "girl" things around that he's wanted and we had the extra money for.


We are also currently growing his hair out, at HIS request because he wants to wear pigtails and pony tails "like girls do". He's worn his tiny pigtails and pony tails out in public as well. I will have no problem doing hair styles that are "girly" if he asks for them.

He feels strongly about his decisions in doing these things.
In fact, his Grandfather tried to BRIBE him with toys to get him to cut his hair, and DS said "NO!". :
Also, when he has been asked by the in-laws why he might want to do/wear/play with something that is seen as "girly" in society, he simply responds, "because I like it" and then goes about his own business.

He hasn't gotten a single negative look or comment from anyone in public, and I've never noticed anyone looking at me weird (but then again, I don't pay much attention to people when we're out) and as uncomfortable as it may be, I don't really care if we do.
People are judgmental assholes. If they don't judge you for one thing, there will be something else they judge you for that you can't avoid. I'd rather teach my child(ren) how to deal with these people and have confidence in himself despite things that may be said to him, rather than teaching him that he he has to conform to everyone around him because their preference/belief about something might differ from his or cause people to think he's "weird".
post #156 of 183
I would let my boys wear dresses or skirts if they wanted to, but DH would be totally against it. He was raised by an ex-military dad who is pretty stuck on traditional male roles.
post #157 of 183
Ds can wear both boy and girl dress up clothes when he's inside. Can't really do it in the yard anymore because neighborhood kids make fun of him.

Playing dress up brings him such great joy.
post #158 of 183
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnmama View Post
That's a great example! I've known lots of little boys with mohawks (often encouraged by the parents). I have yet to see a little girl with one. Is that different in different areas?
I've seen plenty of teenage girls and women with mohawks...but not young girls (I've lived mostly in different parts of California). Doesn't seem to be a trend (yet)
post #159 of 183
If my daughter wanted a mohawk, she could have one. If my youngest ds wanted one, I would be more hesitant, but only because he really loves his long hair, and before he had any kind of hair cut, I'd have to make sure he completely understood that his hair would be gone for a long time before it would grow back.
post #160 of 183
I personally would have a problem with it. I am one of those people who believe that dresses and pink is for girls.
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