diapering difficulties - at wits end!

[banana_nana]

I watch my grandson, just turned 1, 4 days a week. This gentle grandmother is out of ideas. I can manage the wriggling & writhing with wet diapers, but the poop is beyond control. The lo is big boned and strong and flips & writhes like a fish. I can't hold both his ankles easily with one hand. His bowel movements are loose and often from one end to the other. I lay down 2 pads, give him a valued toy (often the poopy dwarf, who asks if he has poop for him), praise him for any cooperation, & work as fast as I can, wipes shaken out & at the ready. We wind up with poop all over him, sometimes on the floor, all over my shirt today.

I sometimes resort to a quick slap on the leg to break the tension. He cries, and I can finish & wipe the mess from his hair, his legs etc., diaper him & clean up the rest. I HATE THIS! I love the boy and sharing time with him, but I'm beginning to think "day care." This is not the grandmother I want to be. Can anyone help?

[BellinghamCrunchie]

I changed DD from 9 months until she learned to use the potty while she was standing up. She absolutely would not lay down for a diaper change after she was walking.

It helps to stand the child at a low table with a few items on the table for them to grab/play with, especially items not used for anything else, have the wipes ready, and work pretty fast. I also always made sure the wipes were warm and not cold from the container by running them under warm water.

It was easier for me to make sure DD was completely clean by standing her up on the counter top (I kept one hand on the small of her back and let her open and close the cupboard doors) but I can understand how some people might be scared to do this... DD never came close to falling and I could see the area to be cleaned better... but its up to you.

[klk197]

I feel for you! DS is almost 11 months, and his changing time gymnastics have forced us to switch from an inexpensive and reliable cloth diaper service to using disposables. Its now fewer steps and i can change him with one hand. I try to distract him with things that aren't toys--he seems to be bored by things that are intended for him. So I rotate among junk mail, the wipes refill packages, paper bags--for him things that make crunchy noises that he can manipulate with his hands work best. We usually end the process with him standing and holding/pulling on me, but i try to keep him down as long as possible to get him clean. And yes, this sometimes makes him mad, but we need to get that poop out! I think (hope?) it will be easier when he can balance unassisted.

[SkyMomma]

Been there, done that, am now doing it again! This time with CD - uggg! I second the changing standing up idea...works much better. I finally broke down & invested in some fancy aio diapers, so no more diaper & cover when we're out in the world. (Squirmy baby, runny transition poop, tiny plastic changing table, CD = disaster).

Another tip...(although I really dislike electronics for babies), what's worked for us is handing DS my cell phone . After I have everything ready, I sit on the floor with his head resting on my feet (my legs like a diamond, his head cradled by my insteps), diapering area toward me. He's a little more contained in this position & less likely to turn over. I then flip my phone open to the picture of himself & his big brother, point out the picture & hand him the phone. Then work fast! My booklight works, too.

For super-messy, blow-out poops, we use the bathtub or bathroom sink. Daiper off, baby standing up supported with one arm/hand, other hand washing.

Good luck!

[nighten]

Very special, flashy, loud, obnoxious toy that is reserved for poopy diaper changes only.

Or turn on the TV.

Those were both things that we didn't normally do, so they worked well for distractions.

[momma_unlimited]

If my little one doesn't want to cooperate for a diaper change, in the tub he goes... I have a little water scooper I just pour over him and he usually just gets engaged in playing with water from the faucet while I clean him up, then he's fresh and ready to go. It takes a couple more minutes but it's so worth it in terms of our attitudes!

[FeingoldMomma]

I third the standing up option. We have a folding chair in our basement (which is the coolest part of the house, and thus where all the toys currently are) that has a neat patterned fabric seat. We stand Danny (who is 11mos) up in front of it, with a blanket folded in quarters underneath his feet so he's standing on a square of fabric... just in case he pees or the runny poop escapes the diaper. We've got neat things for him to play with that he only gets during diaper changes. So the routine goes like this:

• Time for diaper change
• Turn chair around from under table so seat is facing baby
• Lay out folded blanket
• Open up clean diaper and set aside
• Wet washcloth with warm water
• Grab toys and stand baby on blanket
• He plays mostly happily and mostly in one place while I clean him off and replace diaper
• Adjust the tabs for proper fit and refasten his onesie and he's good to go

Every once in a rare while we get him to lay down, but it really is rare. This is the only way we've been able to get his diaper changed without screaming and crying and frustration - on both our part and his. I even tried a position similar to what SkyMomma described. He would either flip over or push his way back up to sitting. *sigh* Sometimes determined children are challenging.

[turalis]

I have a flipper as well, and he's quick. Lately I've found that singing works great. He watches me, keeps eye contact and seems to enjoy the song. The trick though, is that I need to rotate my play list of songs I sing or else he gets bored and flips and flops all over the place. I've even made up songs that include what I'm doing, what he's doing, the weather... anything!

good luck!

[Rico'sAlice]

At that age I think we just stuck him in the shower every time he had a messy poop.

[kaitlyncakesmama]

i would also suggest just throwing them in the shower. what about elimination communication (ec/infant potty training)? we started w/ dd1 at nine months and she is now 19 months and pretty much out of diapers during the day, sometimes staying dry at night as well. it has saved us a lot of diaper changing struggles as well as laundry for me! i'm looking forward to ec'ing our new babe from birth! it has been such a rewarding experience.

[pixiepunk]

Originally Posted by kaitlyncakesmama

i would also suggest just throwing them in the shower. What about elimination communication (ec/infant potty training)? We started w/ dd1 at nine months and she is now 19 months and pretty much out of diapers during the day, sometimes staying dry at night as well. It has saved us a lot of diaper changing struggles as well as laundry for me! I'm looking forward to ec'ing our new babe from birth! it has been such a rewarding experience.

ita

[srs]

another vote for the stand up diaper change.

[banana_nana]

so far, so good: update

Well, I waited all day for him to poop yesterday and he waited until his mother got here. I had tried changing him standing up, but he's a little older now so I gave it another go. Used Laura's suggestion and set him up at a small stool. Bought an obnoxious quacking duck battery operated toy for the stool. (There are so many toys at the flea market section at our farmers' market every Sunday. At $1.00 a week, I'll have a great collection of "obnoxious" things we usually wouldn't give him saved for bad diaper changes.) As usual, pads were spread and wipes were ready. It was a pretty mild poop as his go, but the novelty of the situation worked like a charm. One diaper down. One happy boy.

I also cleared the shower area of all bottles, jars etc. Since he's only here days, I haven't had a need to bathe him. I'd been reluctant to deal with poop on the old rough plastic shower bottom, but a little cleaner with bleach is less un-green that a baby the slaps himself on the hand and says "bad baby," as he did just before I posted. If we need the shower for a real messy one, it's ready.

Thanks to all who responded. They say admitting you need help is the first step-lol. But actually, just looking at the problem and letting in others ideas is wonderfully freeing. I'll update in a day or two. Going to try the singing idea too! Never thought of that... and for a bad day there are those Baby Einstein videos he's never seen... Banana nana.

[EnviroBecca]

I'm glad the tips are helping! I used to do singing ("I've Been Working on the Railroad" was a favorite) and this: Lay him down on a towel on the floor. Sit at one side of him, facing him--I guess if you're right-handed, you'd sit on his right so that your right hand is toward his bottom. Grab both his hands with your right hand, and put your left leg across his body and arms. Then you can pin him down. It sounds awful, but my son never seemed to be hurt by it or anything, just annoyed that he couldn't flip.

My only other tip is, with clothing that snaps under the crotch, pull it up and snap it over his shoulder to keep it out of the way.

Good luck! This is a difficult stage.

[MeAndVee]

Stickers. You can get cheap, different colored dots from places like Office Max and Staples. My son loves them still and he is almost 2. We don't use them at diaper changes anymore but in the car. The backseat is covered in dots! I feel for you though Grandma. I have often threatened sitting on him when he was difficult! Soon he will be potty trained and this will be all but a memrory.

[nerdymom]

great ideas here! I'm :!

[abiyhayil]

If we're downstairs and the kitchen sink is dish free, in he goes and gets sprayed off, upstairs he gets sprayed off with the shower wand. In desperate times I've had to lay him down and pin his shoulders with my feet while I change him very quickly:

[~NewMa~]

let him be naked for as much of the day as you can
You'll learn his cues for needing to go pee and poo and can get him to the potty in time which he will feel proud for and it's MUCH easier to wipe up a poop after it has been done on the potty and isn't already smeared all over his butt.
You will get the occasional pee or dump on the floor, but even that is sometimes easier to clean up than trying to change a diaper with a wailing, writhing child smeared in mess.
I have a 15 month old and we have been doing this since he was about 11-12 months.
It has been very successful
The only poopy diaper I change now really is the morning one and from then on he's naked unless we're in public :

[banana_nana]

update

Baby had his one year check up and his doctor switched him to whole milk, while warning that it might constipate him a bit. Well! I'm still standing him at the stool with a battery operated, "obnoxious" electronic toy. I make sure everything is ready. (I did try singing, but the only tune I've stuck with is "You can't sit down.") But all in all, no more horribly messy poops makes it all much easier. I do flop him down at some point to make sure he's clean, but suggestions worked; the tension is broken. Grandmother is her gentle self. Thanks to all!