Funny/jaw-dropping comments about homebirth (etc.) - Page 6

[CrunchyChristianMama]

Originally Posted by Awaken

Oh wait, I forgot this one from last week. In my prenatal yoga class, my teacher is very pro-homebirth, natural birth, and midwifery and usually says something about it at the beginning of class. One woman who assured us that she KNEW because her dad is a high risk OB, said midwives weren't safe to use b/c she had a friend who had a miscarriage at 7 months and she was under the care of midwives Like no one's ever lost a baby who is cared for by an OB or has their baby in a hospital??

I know several people who have lost babies while under the care of an OB and delivering in a hospital. So I've decided when people say things like this I'm simply going to reply with my own stories too. Maybe it will show them how ridiculous that argument sounds.

[Juvysen]

Yeah, seriously. I mean, I know someone who lost her baby, full term, *gasp* from just being pregnant. *sigh* Shockingly her doctors couldn't do anything. Clearly the best way to not have a pregnancy or birth loss is to never be pregnant.

Our ped said he couldn't imagine homebirth as being safe because one woman (who planned a homebirth) died from placenta previa - bled out before she even went into labor, both mom and baby died. But, uh... that could happen either way! *sigh* Plus, the reason they knew was that she went TO THE HOSPITAL.

[pampered_mom]

Originally Posted by Juvysen

bled out before she even went into labor, both mom and baby died. But, uh... that could happen either way! *sigh* Plus, the reason they knew was that she went TO THE HOSPITAL.

I would think the "before she even went into labor" part is key. Sounds to me that makes it clear that it could have happened even way. Since mom/baby were in the hospital, why isn't the hospital blamed? I hate the way folks use terrible events like that to scare others into making a decision - I don't think it's respectful to the people whose story is being talked about.

[Amatullah0]

Originally Posted by faerierose

When I told my mother I was having a homebirth with ds she got really freaked out. She blurts out "If they don't cut the cord fast enough your baby will die!" She really truly thought that if the cord is not cut within seconds of the birth that it would hurt the baby.

^^so did my OB, then she was fired

[Mechella]

This topic is hilarious!

I'm not planning a HB (yet! not ttc yet) but when I was pregnant with my daughter we were over at my parents' house for dinner on my due date. My sister mentioned a funny message she had gotten from a male friend of hers who knew when I was due. He left a regular message that ended with something like, "Well I will let you go since you are probably at the hospital because your sister is having the baby"

[minkajane]

I work in a maternity store the other day and I had a woman in my store literally shudder when I mentioned that I'll be birthing at home in future and say that she could never do it because of all the bodily fluids everywhere. I laughed and told her that the midwives would clean it up, that Chux pads and stuff were used and that it's not like she'd be on her knees right after giving birth, cleaning up blood. She just kept covering her face and shaking her head and being really jittery and repeating "Oh, no no no, I don't do fluids, I just don't, ugh!" Either she didn't believe me, was convinced that blood and fluids would be all over the place in a homebirth, or was a complete germophobe. If only she knew how dirty the hospital is!

[Evergreen]

That one is totally weird. There is going to be the same gore at a home birth as at a hospital birth. It just depends on the birth not the location.

[Juvysen]

Originally Posted by Evergreen

That one is totally weird. There is going to be the same gore at a home birth as at a hospital birth. It just depends on the birth not the location.

I dunno... my induced-from-nothing hospital birth was a *lot* more messy than my homebirth. Pitocin made for a lot of blood dripping after, breaking my water early on made for a huge mess all over the place (I still had kind of a lot of water in there and every time i sat down it seriously GUSHED all over the floor)... I was a little nervous about the amount of fluids that would be dripping all over my home during my homebirth, too. Turns out it was *much* neater

[nia82]

Gosh those comments!
I had a hospital birth with DS, midwife attended, but still ended up with so much monitoring and an IV and wasn't allowed to push upright (i was crying on my back pushing, asking to please be upright). Never again. We are planning on two more, and I want a homebirth. DH finally agreed...
DH's family thinks it's unsafe, dirty and so annoying when you cannot put that newborn into the nursery to sleep, ya know. My parents think it's great as long as it's not high risk (but you monitor your pregnancy so I'd know). My MD sister is all for it, while she wouldn't do it herself, her doctor friends did (2 of them). She doesn't really think it's dangerous at all for women with normal pregnancies. That's in Europe though.

[mommy2two babes]

Originally Posted by Mechella

This topic is hilarious!

I'm not planning a HB (yet! not ttc yet) but when I was pregnant with my daughter we were over at my parents' house for dinner on my due date. My sister mentioned a funny message she had gotten from a male friend of hers who knew when I was due. He left a regular message that ended with something like, "Well I will let you go since you are probably at the hospital because your sister is having the baby"

When I was pregnant with my DD I was in a store on my due date.
The guy behind the counter asked when I was due and I told him today.
He looked at me like I was a time bomb ready to go off

[onelilguysmommy]

Originally Posted by mommy2two babes

When I was pregnant with my DD I was in a store on my due date.
The guy behind the counter asked when I was due and I told him today.
He looked at me like I was a time bomb ready to go off

Try doing that saying "two weeks ago."
Veeeery freaked out looks after they realize what you said, haha!

My dad tried to scare me because his friend had a baby die at 39 weeks. In the hospital.
:sigh:
I feel really badly for the family but how does that prove that a hospital is better?
:

[MittensKittens]

Originally Posted by ColwynsMommy

I got mostly positive comments about Fiona's homebirth. The one comment was really funny was part of a totally surreal conversation at City Hall when I was there to pick up Fiona's birth certificate.

Clerk: So, did you mean to have her at home?

Me: Yep. It was great.

Clerk: Wow. How do you know how much she weighed?

Me: Um.. the midwife had a scale. Actually, it was pretty nice because the baby got to snuggle up in a hammock rather than lie on a plastic scale.

Clerk: Oh, you had a midwife there. You know, we had a woman come in once who did that, but didn't have anyone there.

Me: Yeah, some women prefer it that way, but I felt safer with a midwife [and no, it didn't even occur to me to tell her that our midwife didn't actually make it in time].

Clerk: Well, I thought it was crazy. I mean, how are we supposed to know that the baby was hers and not one she stole?

Me: I don't think that actually happens that often.

Clerk: Are you kidding? You'd be surprised.

Me: Well, the state requires we present a letter from our pediatrician to file the birth certificate, so hopefully that would help a little.

Clerk: Yeah. I was wondering, though.. what do they do with the placenta?

Me: Um.. well, some people bury it in the yard. Or you can just throw it away. Some people even eat it.

Clerk: No, no.. what I mean is, shouldn't they, like.. bring it in, so we know that they gave birth?

Me: Um..

I did, actually, offer to bring the placenta in to the embassy to "prove" I gave birth, but they thought I might have stolen the placenta along with the baby, and ended up having to do a DNA test. I am already planning to go into the embassy while pregnant and getting the clerk to sign something saying they have seen me pregnant, to avoid spending money on a DNA test again! I might also tape the birth .

[smeep]

Originally Posted by MittensKittens

I did, actually, offer to bring the placenta in to the embassy to "prove" I gave birth, but they thought I might have stolen the placenta along with the baby, and ended up having to do a DNA test. I am already planning to go into the embassy while pregnant and getting the clerk to sign something saying they have seen me pregnant, to avoid spending money on a DNA test again! I might also tape the birth .

THEY made YOU pay for the test?! Ohhhh, I would be tempted to throw my placenta in the FACE of the person who told me that.

[MittensKittens]

Originally Posted by smeep

THEY made YOU pay for the test?! Ohhhh, I would be tempted to throw my placenta in the FACE of the person who told me that.

Well, they didn't MAKE me, but I was led to believe they might do something stupid like take the baby into their care until the test was done if I refused to pay, so I decided to just do it. Oh, apparently they were so very fascinated by me cutting the cord myself that they put it in my statement twice . "I cut the umbilical cord myself, using a knife. The umbilical cord was cut by me."

[Youngfrankenstein]

Here's a new one. We told my childless brother about our hb plans and he said: "Well at least open the windows!" And I kind of looked at him puzzled and he said "You know, because of the smell." I just kinda laughed and told him I didn't think it would especially smelly.

First time I heard that one.

[lillacfaerie]

I plan on having a home birth next time, which my mother is really supportive of after she attended my hospital birth. It's really funny though, she keeps saying "I think it would be great to give birth at home and just go to sleep in your own bed and all, but all I could think of is 'oh look at my baby, and the ironing, and the dishes and the floors' I would want to be up cleaning" well I guess there's one benefit to a hospital birth; no house work for 36 hours!

[hapersmion]

Originally Posted by lillacfaerie

I plan on having a home birth next time, which my mother is really supportive of after she attended my hospital birth. It's really funny though, she keeps saying "I think it would be great to give birth at home and just go to sleep in your own bed and all, but all I could think of is 'oh look at my baby, and the ironing, and the dishes and the floors' I would want to be up cleaning" well I guess there's one benefit to a hospital birth; no house work for 36 hours!

Tell her that's her job!

[Incubator]

I had an unassisted birth so:
I had someone ask me how I knew how to get the baby out. I couldn't figure out what to say; do I say my body figured it out, or do I say, I didn't know, the BABY knew how to get out?

Someone asked me who did I get to cut the umbilical cord. The conversation ended when I told her we didn't cut it. I didn't even bother to mention that I could probably figure out how to operate a pair of scissors, if I had decided to cut it.

I've been asked who suctioned the baby (no one, she didn't need it, and most babies don't, but I had a bulb syringe and am pretty sure I can figure out how to use it.)

All sorts of odd questions, like doctors are the only people with any common sense.

ETA: Oh yeah, and someone asked if I went to the hospital after the birth and I said, no I went to bed, I was tired. They asked, "so then how did you report the birth?" and I said I went down to the courthouse and filled out the same form that hospitals use.

[Youngfrankenstein]

Originally Posted by Incubator

I had an unassisted birth so:
I had someone ask me how I knew how to get the baby out. I couldn't figure out what to say; do I say my body figured it out, or do I say, I didn't know, the BABY knew how to get out?

.

I am just picturing an OB in the delivery room with a megaphone:

"Okay, baby, this is the doctor! I demand you move toward the lights!"

Whatever?

[Belle]

Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein

I am just picturing an OB in the delivery room with a megaphone:

"Okay, baby, this is the doctor! I demand you move toward the lights!"

Whatever?