SO: How did the subject come up with the baby's dad?

[eepster]

This is survey directed for those who live in areas where circ is the norm, and/or whose families consider circ the norm.

Another thread got me wondering how these big arguments over whether or not to cut off part of the soon to be born boys penis get started in the first place.

[Night_Nurse]

I live in a high circ rate area and all of my dh's male relatives are circed (as far as I know).
It came up when I was pregnant with my first (gender unknown ahead of time) and it was brought up by me when I just casually mentioned "circumcision is the most awful thing I've seen in my life and if this child is a boy there is no way he'll be circed". End of discussion. My dh is very smart and reasonable and knew long ago that a - circ has no medical benefits, and b- there is no point in arguing with me. Lol!

[eepster]

Wow, you posted before I even finished the poll.

[Night_Nurse]

Oops! Well I voted now. I didn't vote that dad is an intactivist because he wasn't necessarily at the time, but he is now.
He even went to the march in DC with me a few years ago!
My poll answer is: I told him I didn't want to, and he agreed.

[A&A]

I said, "We're not circumcising our son," and he said "ok."

[frontierpsych]

I told him I didn't want to, we disagreed briefly, but he came around.

It was pretty much:
"If we have a boy, I don't want to circumcise him."
"But I'm circumcised, I think a boy should be circumcised if his father is."
"Why?"
"........ nevermind."



so it wasn't even really much of a disagreement. We are now both very glad our son is intact.

[BaMo]

I actually didn't really think about it until I found Mothering. : Love this board. I did my research, showed DH and he was totally on board.

[Fyrestorm]

I have to be the obligatory "other"

When DH and I met. I already had bumper stickers on my car and was deeply involved in the intactivist movement.

DD turned out to be a girl, but it was never mentioned as a possibility or even in conversation...ever. There was no reason to.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I told him I didn't want to, and we disagreed briefly, but he came around.

I picked that one but it isnt 100% accurate. I told him if we had a boy we where not circing and he said yes we are and I started crying a bit (did I mention I was pg w/dd so the hormones where a running) and said I dont agree with it and think it is a horrible thing to do to a child and he basically said OK then. But we had several more discussion about it later on when I got pg with #2

He still is not as anti circ as I am but he isnt totally pro circ either.

[mjg013]

I knew before I met my dh I would never circumcise. I brought it up when we were expecting our first and he said of course we would circ. I dropped it because we had a girl. When we got pg with a boy I researched it before asking him and showed him the research and he is now an intactivist.

[nini02]

I asked DH how he would feel about not doing it, told him all the stuff I'd learned about it, and he was pretty much totally on board. He never disagreed, just asked and listened. It took very little convincing. All he wanted to do was get the opinion of my OB, who thankfully was quite adamant that there was no reason to do it. But DH would have been ok with it even if my doctor had said differently, I'm pretty sure.

[lovebug]

"i told him i dont want to and the argument started" and is still on going! DH has good friends that are not circ'ed and they wish they were for many reasons comedic not being one of the big ones.

[liliaceae]

When I was pregnant with ds, I asked him what he thought about it, he said "No way." I said I probably agreed with him, but I wanted to research it first just to make sure. After I looked into it, I agreed with him 100%.

[BlessedMommy2006]

Hmmm...other I guess. When we were pregnant with DD, I read up on circ and decided that it was painful and unnecessary. We were having a homebirth and thus were already leaning towards the more natural. I think that we talked about it and agreed that it was not necessary and that was that.

Later on, I did have an argument with DH over it, he wasn't "for it" so to speak, but was playing the devil's advocate, I think. Later on, he realized the functions of the foreskin and then instead of just agreeing that it wasn't necessary, he agreed that it was downright damaging.

Anyway, so after that point, I think, he was enthusiastically on board with no circ and is now (slowly) restoring his foreskin. I had a boy 5 months ago and my DS is happily intact.

[SunShineSally]

I picked other because we did not argue. I said "if this is a boy we are not going to circ. My Ds was not supposed to be and he knew that so it was no surprise." He really at the time wanted to because he never really heard of anyone not being circed. I pulled up lots of information and said read this we can then talk in the morning. So morning came and he said wow that is why I have so many issues and wow........ and he went on he said there is no way we are going to do that!! I just smiled and said "I know!"

[Mama2Jesse]

I got pregnant. Somebody brought up circumcision to me. I had been raised in your general misinformed mainstream home, but thought I should look into it anyway. My baby, my responsibility.
Found out what it was and the truth of it and was HORRIFIED. SObbed that whole afternoon.

Brought it up with DH. Three days of sheer marital HELL ensue. Lots of crying, angry silences, and arguing. Bleh. Finally said "Look, here's some research, but there is no damn way I am hurting our baby!" DH saw the light.

Wouldn't you know it, now he's an intactivist who thanks me for protecting our boy and harasses his coworkers who are about to become daddies. Sweet. :

And he's restoring. Wow. Way to accept a long held truth for the horrible lie it is, eh?

[broodymama]

Other for me.

Early in my pregnancy with DS (before we knew the gender), I asked DH if we would have a son circumcised and he said "nah, don't see any reason too". I had only heard the myths about intact boys, so I went online to research all the reasons that we should have it done. My research led me straight to this forum and within an hour of reading I had my head pulled out of my and quickly became an intactivist. The fact that I would have circ'd a son out of ignorance, if not for DH's casual "no", has made me more of an intactivist.

[USAmma]

My dh is a Hindu man from India. It's very very rare that a Hindu would get circed in India. He thinks circ is weird. It was an easy decision for both of us to not circ. As it turns out we had girls, but we had decided no circ when I was early in the first pregnancy.

[PuppyFluffer]

We were fairly early into dating and I was asking him important questions. When I asked what he thought of circumcision, he said, and I directly quote, "Hell no, and frankly, I'd like mine back". That's THE moment that I knew he was marriage material!

[SaraMum]

When I mentioned it to my so he simply said "why would we do that? we are not religious He was born and raised in Europe so it is strange to him that it is done more routinely in North America