was anyone else terrified their first year?

[Icequeen_in_ak]

This is my first year of homeschooling. I will be the first to admit that I'm terrified . I'm just so monumentally scared that I'm going to miss something, or forget some fundamental exercise that will doom her for life.

Are these feelings normal? Were you are scared before you started?

My daughter is a few grades ahead of her age, so we made sure to do assessments to determine what grade level curriculum we should get, and I got a boxed curriculum for this first year that I'm supplementing with higher level on the subjects she's really advanced in, and lower level for the subjects shes age appropriate on.

I'm hoping by doing this I'm covering all of my bases. I'm still paralyzed with fear though. Maybe I'll be more comfortable when I have all my materials in front of me and can read through the lesson plans, etc.

I'm curious what kinds of schedules you all have. We are a pretty laid back kind of family and I'm hoping it's realistic to keep that mentality with our home schooling as well. But I'm equally worried that I'll be too laid back and not progress at a pace that we should be (although my daughter is one to sit and devour workbooks for fun, so it might not be a problem).

I'm just nervous... if you couldn't tell

[Lillian J]

Gee, actually, you're the only person I've ever come across who's had any trepidation about homeschooling.

But seriously, I think the majority of people who are just starting out have some feelings along the lines of what you describe. And you know what? I honestly think those who have some fear about it might actually be more successful starting out than some who are all confident and excited about the things they want to do - because that can sometimes make it more about them and what they want to do and less about the children themselves, which is a recipe for a lot of unnecessary struggle.

You'll all do just fine ! It would be almost impossible to mess it up if you're paying any attention at all. Don't worry so much about lessons and lesson plans, though - look to your child, listen to her, and notice what drives her. Think about what excites her imagination, how she seems to learn best, what she's most interested in doing or learning about, what kinds of studies she might dislike, and why... Think about how she would change the way things have been going in school. If you can move back from the burden you're feeling about being a teacher, and instead provide time and space and great materials for facilitating her to be a learner in her own style, you'll be amazed at how things can go. It doesn't need to be all planned out in advance - it will all grow and fall into place in its own good time.

An important thing to think about right now - for all of you! - is some nice, cozy, and relaxed decompression/deschooling time. It isn't a waste of time, but a really good investment. It can be a time for getting to know her again in a whole different way from what was going on when she was in school - and it can be a time for her to get to know herself all over again as the kind of natural born learner who simply learns what she learns when she learns it, in her own way, rather than thinking in terms of being ahead or behind. She'll be finding a lot more than workbooks to devour - she's going to have a great time with all the time and freedom homeschooling is going to provide.

Here's a recent post where I listed some ideas for other "getting started" resources:
excellent intros

Right now, the best thing is to relax and start thinking in terms of some fun things you can do together that you didn't have time to do when she was in school - all the rest can come along one thing at a time, and she'll have plenty of time to learn all she'll eventually need.

Have fun! - Lillian

[Icequeen_in_ak]

She's never been to school (well, unless you count preschool for a couple of months when she was 3). She starts kindergarten this year.

I really like the idea of unschooling, and I think it would be a great fit for her learning style (she's literally taught herself everything... all the way down to basic algebra, merely from her own curiosity and google LOL) but the thought of not having things lined out for me to cover, to ensure I don't miss something vital, makes me want to hyperventilate.

I figure our first couple of weeks will be a "feeling things out" time to see how things fall into our daily life and to figure out where we want to put our focus.

I had to fill out an ILP with the homeschool vendor and everything seemed so rigid. But I've gotten feedback from several other moms, that while the paper work is pretty "stiff" the learning doesn't have to be.

I just want to make sure we cover everything, but more importantly, that we do it in a way that is FUN and keeps her love of learning engaged as it's been so far.

Thanks for the links. When she's down for the night, I will read them.

[Lillian J]

Oh! I really misunderstood what you'd said! I assumed she was much older.

Well, then - the issue is not going to be making sure you cover everything but just in keeping her happy and occupied. She has lots of years ahead for everything to fall into place. She sounds like such a self-motivated learner that she'll be picking things up like a sponge from everything around her.

Here's something I wrote in another thread recently i regard to a kindergarten aged child:

Some of the great advantages of homeschooling are that you will no longer need to think in terms of grade levels and will not have to be concerned with the idea of being behind. You can just take one step at a time and provide whatever she needs in order to go about learning, and she'll be humming right along, taking very little time to learn things it would take a lot longer to learn in a group setting. For generations, kindergarten was a time for imaginative playing and learning how to be in a group setting in a way that would make 1st grade the next year go smoothly. If you do nothing but let her play, she can still be up to par with whatever 1st graders are doing by the time that year ends. And even if she's "behind" the highest expectations in some things and "ahead" in others, it won't make any difference in the big picture. She'll be all happily over the map in the years to come, and that's one of the wonderful advantages you're getting with homeschooling. And

In regard to what's generally expected to be covered at that age, it honestly depends on who's doing the expecting for the needs of a child of that age. There are lots of us who would expect only that she knows how to play and learn in her own way about whatever she wants. There are lots of others who expect that she should be able to say the ABCs and count. There are lots of others who expect that she should be reading some before she's 6. There are others who expect even more. But you have only that one child and her own unique and individual development and interests and propensities - so you have the freedom to be able to facilitate whatever feels good to you both. Here's a page in which World Book Encyclopedia lists what schools typically aim to cover by the end of each year: Typical Course of Study. Do keep in mind that those are things they hope to cover, but don't always manage - and that their plans are based on the challenge of trying to get in a body of learning for a whole lot of different kinds of children by the time they get out of elementary years and so forth. Your own homeschool can take a very different route. And this is a resource page a state homeschooling organization put together about homeschooling gifted children - it may be helpful in finding some satisfying things for her to do to stay occupied and happy: Gifted. I would think that your most successful time with her will be in what would ordinarily be thought of as "extra-curricular" activities - she'll learn plenty, and you'll be amazed.

Lillian

[Icequeen_in_ak]

Thanks so much for the links! I've bookmarked them all to review.

She's such a different child in that her idea of fun is sitting in a corner and reading a book on planetary calculations. She tends to obsess about certain topics and devours everything she can find on that topic until she feels she's mastered it (currently we are dealing with the solar system, and her obsession with it) and while I think it's great, I want her to learn to branch out as well, if that makes sense. I mean, don't get me wrong... the girl can tell you everything you ever want to know about any planet (or their moons) in our solar system, all the way down to chemical composition and can tell you about other galaxies, but isn't really interested in anything outside that topic.

I don't know if it's normal, but I'm really trying to work on her OCD type tendencies to be able to have a passion, but also show an interest in some other areas as well. That is where I was hoping the box curriculum might help.. if we had topics we needed to cover every day, just to engage her into thinking about other things.

She just tends to obsess about certain things and finds it hard to let go. Even when she's at karate or playing hockey (her two most favorite sports) she still talks about planets. If only I could get her to broaden her horizon a little.

I just hope I'm doing the right things!

[Lillian J]

One more thought - there's a great little book called Home Learning Year by Year: How to Design a Homeschool Curriculum from Preschool through High School, by Rebecca Rupp. I know from talking with her that her intent was to discuss creative ways of providing things that the schools generally feel "should" be taught (so that people can fit into the requirements of various systems without having to go the textbook route) - not what things she thinks necessarily should be taught. After homeschooling three sons, she has a much looser idea of what really needs to be done at any given time. You can find lots of good resource suggestions in it. Lillian

[Icequeen_in_ak]

Lillian, seriously... thank you so much! I have lots of reading to do.

I can't wait for the day that this feels comfortable for me :

[mom2ponygirl]

Hi, we are in our 6th year of hs'ing a girl that sounds similar to yours. We also started hs'ing when she was supposed to start K. It is scary starting out but you will find your rhythm soon and those moments of panic will happen less often, although I'm not sure they ever leave entirely!

We had to let go of any concept of grade level. I had her give input from the beginning on what we would study and how. Sometimes material for her age/grade level would appeal, but generally we grabbed stuff from several grade levels ahead. We would have to modify stuff, discussing things instead of writing so much, etc. I had to be happy to let her pick up what she wanted/needed from some of the really high level stuff and not worry too much about completing it - she would have plenty of time later to revisit.
So when she was 8 and 9, we might be doing 2nd/3rd grade level spelling, algebra, fun kid's science experiments while also watching teaching co. dvds on neuroscience and discussing articles from HHMI, history would be library books that included kid's biographies and historical fiction and sections of her grandfather's adult history books and texts. We found that lots of classic literature was more appropriate as far as content while still allowing her reading level to be challenged and grow. We did lots of books like The Prince and the Pauper as read alouds to allow her to adapt to the language.

www.hoagiesgifted.org has lots of internet investigations that are fun for a variety of topics and at a variety of levels that have appealed to other gifted kids. Have fun exploring!

[elizawill]

was anyone else terrified their first year?

heck yes!! i was FREAKING out! we actually moved from CA to SC the summer before my dd was supposed to start grade K...the cut-off date is different here though (september 1st here & her bday is early october), so we were actually able to postpone a year before starting kindergarten ...we joined a co-op...eased into things...and i settled down, lol.

freaking out is normal for most of us. no worries mama!

[Ruthla]

Yup! The first year I was afraid of making mistakes, and additionaly I was dealing with a lot of pressure from other adults in my life to have DD "perform" academically, when in my heart I knew she needed "deschooling" time and then to learn at HER own pace, regardless of what other kids her age were doing.

Then I had moments of panic when DD1 wanted to HS, since this was something new and I hadn't homeschooled more than one at a time before. Next year I'll only have DS at home, and it will once again be all new- he's younger than DD2 was when I HSed her, and at a much lower academic level, and overall is just a completely different person with completely different needs. I'm nervous about how the year will go, but not terrified. I know I can do this, although I haven't worked out all the details yet.

The nerves are NORMAL. You'll be fine. And please, keep an open mind about hte currriculum. Feel free to NOT use parts if they don't work well for your DD, or to use the materials differently than suggested.

[mommy68]

Originally Posted by mom2ponygirl

Hi, we are in our 6th year of hs'ing a girl that sounds similar to yours. We also started hs'ing when she was supposed to start K. It is scary starting out but you will find your rhythm soon and those moments of panic will happen less often, although I'm not sure they ever leave entirely!

I agree. I can't imagine ever being so comfortable with h/s'ing that I don't at least have moments where I wonder if I'm doing it right or if I might miss something. Totally normal IMO and I've met moms who have had the thought at one time or another. I always try to remind myself that they have 12 to 13 years to get it all in. There are things I've learned so far with my oldest child that I don't remember learning in school. I guess there's no real way to cover it "all" any way you look at it.