Okay, I am totally going to rant and complain and vent.
I have been really freaking out-crying, sobbing, wanting to pull out my hair. I had a serious freak out last night, and cried all day.
Anyone else going through this?
I hate to complain, it is just that our house is filthy, I have no idea how I would have a baby here. We agreeed to hire someone to come in and clean, no matter what the cost. Even though we don't have money yet. That will help.
I am also just so busy. I can not keep up with all my responsiblities. I am supposed to get a big thing made for a big store (Mejier, I don't even know or have the time to care what that is) and I just will never get it done. Plus a million other little things for KB, although I am passing everything off to my office manager that I can.
Plus, I was going to take August off of shooting but I keep getting request after request to do shoots. So, I am pushing them to schedule for October but I am taking the ones that want it now. I can not pass up that kind of money-and I love to shoot, it is just all the work that goes into communicating, editing, ordering prints, etc...so many little details that really start to bury me. But I went from doing no shoots in August to doing 3-4/week until mid month. I am so crazy!!!!
Plus, I am in charge of the house and Elijah. So, we are trying to put him into camps, classes, whatever, so that I can get work done.
All I want to do is sleep, rest, watch movies, meditate, sew, clean, sing, and get ready for the baby.
I guess I am already feeling better this morning since we problem solved a lot of this. It could also be hormones, bc really, things are actually good and dh keeps reminding me of that.
Last night when I was screaming about not being able to give birth at our dirty house he just kept reminding me to look around, stay present, and also to remember that we live in Boulder, we actually HAVE a house, etc... Those little reminders work. By this time yesterday I was just sobbing uncontrollably. The more I talk about it the more I am thinking it is hormones-and not getting any sleep. Anyone else like this right now?