One of those kids....

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I couldn't have let my child do this. But, I was impressed by this boy.

I took my mom to the movies yesterday. It was the first movie of the day, so the theaters weren't very crowded yet.

We had almost the whole theater to ourselves, but behind us was a VERY pregnant mom and her five year old son. She looked like she was 15 months pregnant... and soooo uncomfortable.

They had their seats and the little boy said "mom, can we go get popcorn now?" She said "noooooooo... honey, give me a minute, I just sat down". He said "That's O.K.... I can go and get it for us". (he was very nice too) SHe gave him some money, and he walked out. Then walked back in and said "What do you want?" to his mom.

I walked out too.. to buy my mom some popcorn. (not to be outdone by a five year old)

He was already in line. He could barely see over the counter. He said "I have $2.00.. I need to buy Popcorn and a lemonaide". I leaned over and said, You have $20.00... that's a twenty". He said "Oh.. thankyou..I'm going to kindergarten this year". LOL

The guy asked him if he wanted butter on his popcorn, and he said "Yes, please, and a little salt too please". The guy helped him hold both things, Plus his change, and he walked away.

I ordered and paid and got back to the theater about the same time he did, and held the door for him. But, that's all I did. He did the rest himself.

When he got back inside, he handed his stuff to him mom and said "Do you want anything else mom?" She sent him back out for napkins and straws. He ran off and came back with like one napkin. She sent him back for more.. he did it.

At five, there is NO way, my own child could have handled all of that by herself. Especially paying, and walking all the way back to the theater alone. She wouldn't have been that polite. She wouldn't have been able to speak up enough to be heard. She wouldn't have remembered which theater to go back into.

So, are some kids just naturally like this? Or has he been taught to handle that type of situation? I never gave my child the chance. She couldn't even go to the bathroom by herself at that age. Well, she probably COULD have, but I never let her.

At that age, I had complete freedom to go wherever I wanted, and do anything I wanted. No supervision at all. But, even with all that freedom, I don't think I could have done all that he did with the manners and thoughtfulness that he did it.

[Evergreen]

Sounds like my daughter- she does stuff like that all the time. She likes to go buy things without me there, fill out forms, ask strangers for the time etc. I used to hide a little way away from her and observe the interactions. Very cute. Now she doesn't like it when I do that.

[GuildJenn]

He sounds really neat.

I think my son could potentially get there by five, sort of... it's his personality but also that his school (Montessori) actually roleplays the kids through various situations; they have even taken the kids to a restaurant to have them go through ordering, figuring out the prices, etc. Through their lead my DH and I have started to let my son do more things, like he shops for our weekly tithe of food for the food bank.

For the navigating back, I really do think that's a personality thing and good for you for knowing your child's limits. My son has a pretty good visual memory and would theoretically be able to find his way back - he finds the car for me in the parking lot.

But I also wonder how often they've gone to this particular theatre, etc. It might be that this is his 50th movie. Because here's where I don't think my kid could handle it: he's only been to one movie and we had to leave after 15 minutes, and in a year's time I am kind of doubting that he'll have seen more than one or two movies, so I don't think he'll be familiar with the theatre, popcorn, etc.

So basically I think it's a combination of three things: an individual child's development and tendencies; some teaching; and the actual situation.

[karemore]

My daughter could do it, but I wouldn't let her.

She loves order and pay for things herself. She's polite and very comfortable talking with adults. She has a better memory than I do so I'm sure she's find her way back OK.

But there's no way I'd let her wander around a movie theater that young. No way.

[rainyday]

How cute! I bet the little boy was really proud of himself!

I think that how capable a child is depends to a fair extent on how much responsibility is encouraged, combined with the child's own innate abilitiies and maturity level. But I do think that you can encourage your child to have the skills to be more self sufficient, and it can start at an early age.

[Storm Bride]

DS1 could have done it. He hadn't done precisely that at that age, but he did similar things - running several blocks home, with the key, to get me new grocery bags when two bags burst on the way home, comes to mind. (We went to our first movie when he was five, but he was with his cousin, and their behaviour was...less than exemplary. We almost had to remove them from the theatre.)

DD1 probably could have done it a year ago, but I wouldn't have let her. She gets very easily frustrated, and could have easily ended up having a meltdown over something small (like thinking she had $2.00, when she actually had $20.00).

DS2? It's hard to say. He turned four yesterday. He's had a major mental/neurological "growth spurt" recently, and his behaviour has improved dramatically over what it was even a month ago. It's hard to say where he'll be in a year, but I honestly don't think he'll be up to something like that. He may surprise me - it wouldn't be the first time.

DD2 is a month old - no clue.

[Cativari]

I think its a little bit of a combination.

DD is 3 right now and I let her go into the bathroom stall by herself to potty (me waiting outside or in the one next to it.) She can order her own food at a resturaunt and I've even let her pay at the store when I bring cash ect...Still supervised but I kept to a minimum if there is no danger.

Some of it I've encouraged from the begining. I want my kids to know I trust them to try things when I'm not there and that it's okay to have new experineces without me or DH. But some of it's her personality, she's really out going and new people and situations don't bother her.

[sewingmommy]

my Ds1 is 6 and is still way too shy to ask for what he wants .....

[Snuzzmom]

Aw, what a sweetie!! I think I'm more impressed by how he treated his mom than the getting of the stuff.

I definitely think some kids are just naturally like this, at earlier ages than others. My DS is 2 years 8 months and of course could never pull this off, but he LOVES to be helpful and is able to follow directions, asks if you're okay and if you'd like a kleenex if you sneeze, etc.

As to whether or not I'd ALLOW my DS to go get this stuff in a theatre at the age of 5... I think I'm too paranoid. Hard to say.

[LynnS6]

No way ds would have been able to do that. At 8, he's barely able to tell the waitstaff what he wants at a restaurant, and even then it's so soft they can't hear him. My dd, MAYBE, but she's odd. Sometimes she's incredibly independent and others incredibly not. Going out by herself to get stuff would be 'scary' for her to do by herself.

ETA: I'm in awe of the boy and his mom!

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

No way could my dd do it at 5 even now at nearly 9 she couldnt. Ds isnt 5 yet but I dont see him being able to do it either.

I am always amazed at what kids are capable of.

[purplemoon]

Evan probably could (he's 4). But he's always been super helpful like that and with it, has learned the ways of the world. However, that polite? Prolly not. He would shout a thanks as he ran with the popcorn spilling over the floor to the theatre.

[MtBikeLover]

Wow - that boy sounded so polite and nice!

My DS 6 could have done it and does do things like that now. The other day, he wanted fries at Culver's and I gave him my credit card and he went and got them. Since about 5, he always asks to get stuff on his own and I let him where it is safe to.

The other day, I let him stand in line at Sam's for me to check out while I waited in line at the food stand to get pretzels. I watched him the whole time and it was awesome to see him putting all the groceries on the belt (including making sure there was a divider between the orders) and then giving the card to the lady. The older couple behind him kept smiling the whole time. My heart of course just swelled! I did come over a few times and he told me he was fine and to go back to the food line.

DD is 4.5 and is starting to want to do things on her own as well. yesterday, she waited in line for water at Six Flags while I stood back about 15 feet. I could hear her say "Can I please have some water?"

I have always tried to encourage my kids to do things on their own and to teach them how to do it.

[Jessy1019]

Originally Posted by Evergreen

Sounds like my daughter- she does stuff like that all the time. She likes to go buy things without me there, fill out forms, ask strangers for the time etc. I used to hide a little way away from her and observe the interactions. Very cute. Now she doesn't like it when I do that.

Yup, my daughter loves having the opportunity to do stuff like that. I'd definitely let her go get snacks/go to the bathroom/etc in our movie theater . . . it's a quiet place even on "busy" nights, and we go often so she knows her way around. She also loves getting to go into Dunkin Donuts to buy breakfast alone, and anywhere else I'm willing to send her.

I think it's kind of sad that more kids don't get those opportunities (kids who would embrace doing it, I mean).

[HappilyEvrAfter]

How wonderfully sweet!! : What a boy to think of his mother like that!

Some kids (people) are just natually that sweet, but it takes some exposure to be confident enough to do an adult task like this. I think the more they're allowed to do something on their own, the more natural and commonplace it will become to them.

I've been letting my kid take a few extra steps from me to pay for things and ask questions. Made him go by himself the other day to ask the lifeguard about the slide being broken because he wanted to go down it. (far cry from getting popcorn on his own though!!)

My dad did this same thing to me...make me call the hardware store when he needed something to see if they had it in stock.

Now, I wouldn't send him on his own to do somethings just because of the creeps out there, but I'm slowly making him depend on himself for numerous things.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by HappilyEvrAfter

Some kids (people) are just natually that sweet, but it takes some exposure to be confident enough to do an adult task like this.

This. DD1 is certainly sweet enough to want to take care of it and help me...but it would never occur to her to try something like that. DS2 would definitely be that sweet, but I don't even like to contemplate the way it would play out if he tried to do that...he'd probably end up yelling at the person behind the counter for taking his money and giving him back coins or something...

[LiLStar]

that kinda reminds me something gavin debecker talked about in his book. the parents had their son at first order from a hot dog stand with parents right there. Then they stood back a bit. Finally building up to the parents parking the car, and the child getting out, crossing the street, ordering and coming back to the car.

[mrs*kewpie*pie]

mines almost 10 and wouldn't do it. too shy.

[Beckamomof4]

My son was and is like this, but my daughter, even now, is still not mature eough. I really think it depends on the child!

[Evergreen]

Originally Posted by LiLStar

that kinda reminds me something gavin debecker talked about in his book. the parents had their son at first order from a hot dog stand with parents right there. Then they stood back a bit. Finally building up to the parents parking the car, and the child getting out, crossing the street, ordering and coming back to the car.

Yep. It's how I got the nerve to allow dd1 to trust her won self and her observations of others. She is very autonomous.