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preparing myself for worse :(

post #1 of 48
Thread Starter 
over last 2 days my bleeding has become really heavy, heavier than a normal period and more clots, and pain...

when i went back to hospital they can still find a heart beat, but doctor warned me that this doesn't mean i won't miscarry and she is concerned by the amount of blood,
i feel like im being fobbed off because she wanted to scan me to find out if she can see where bleeding is coming from but then i got a phone call to tell me that they wouldn't scan me because they found a fetal heart beat and i just had to wait it out,
im so frustrated

but i am starting to think that maybe i am going to lose this one and i think i can deal with that if it happens. I'm just really scaird about what will happen if i do lose a baby at nearly 16 weeks, how will a miscarrige be like so late, is it going to be more like labour, and how will my baby look when it comes out at this stage, im terrified to look in toilet anytime i go, i also can't stop thinking about fact that my baby might be in pain or suffering inside me and there is nothing i can do, im still feeling movement etc so i know that right now it is still there

sorry if this is a really depressing post,

post #2 of 48
I can't even imagine what you're going through, nor do I have any experience - just wanted to give you a big cyber hug and send positive thoughts your way, I hope you and your little one are safe and healthy - try to stay positive - I hope you get some answers
post #3 of 48
I hope the bleeding stops, and you have a healthy baby! I will keep you in my prayers too though.
post #4 of 48
It's unconscionable that they won't do a scan. Thinking of you. (((((hugs)))))))
post #5 of 48
I'm so sorry Jools. I hope you get some answers soon. In the meantime, I will pray for safety for you and your babe. Try to stay positve although I know it seems hard now. Sending you lots a big hugs!!
post #6 of 48
I'm so so sorry you're having to go through this. I can't imagine how difficult the not knowing must be, in addition to the bleeding and cramping.

I am sending positive energy your way.
post #7 of 48
Sending and lots of positive energy your way. Let's hope it's just a placental bleeding type of thing and it clears up post haste!!
post #8 of 48

I am so sorry you're going through this.
post #9 of 48
Many prayers being said for you & your baby.
post #10 of 48
I'm so sorry ou have to go through this. Honestly, if they were refusing me a scan I would be calling a new provider ASAP. Are they not at all concerned about how such a blood loss is affecting your body, not just the baby? It's great there's a heart rate, but you are their patient and it's their job to make sure you AND the baby are ok. ((hugs))
post #11 of 48
oh no jools!! i hope things get better and settle down for you.

is it the nhs that's refusing you a scan? what if you went to casualty? or was it casualty you were in already? i'd think even the nhs would want to know where the bleeding was coming from!

keep us posted!

post #12 of 48
I agree with Christina - I'd find a new HCP that would listen to my insistance on getting a scan.

I'm sorry, Jools. This has been a rough few months for you.
post #13 of 48
Holy crap girl! I would get down to the local A&E - don't let them fobb you off like this! I'd be so pissed off! OMG I hope this lets up. What a nightmare! Get down to the A&E and tell them you're not leaving until they find out where this blood is coming from - they can do this for you, NHS or no NHS.

*HUGE hugs* and love and hope going your way! XXXXX
post #14 of 48
Oh Jools, I am so sorry you're going through this... I hope you can find out what is going on. I am thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts.
post #15 of 48
I am so sorry you are going though this. I do hope all works out well and the baby remains healthy. Losing a baby at any stage is hard, but I found losing one at this stage to be much harder than a very early loss.

Just for some info, when I lost my son at 18 wks, I had the bleeding. Then I had some cramps. I could feel his descent and actually caught him (bag and all) in my hand. It was about the size of a grapefruit. I did not get that "labor" feeing until later, after I had him. My placenta did not deliver right away and the next day I began to have contractions. Not like transition contractions, more like mid-labor ones that were noticable but timeable. I had them for an hour before the placenta delivered. Then nothing else beyond a "heavy period" type bleeding.

When I looked at my baby, bag in all, I was saddened as well as intrigued. I have never seen such a tiny baby in person. I had to break the bag open (which was really tough to do) and then I held my son.

It was such a precious moment. My biggest fear at this point was that he would be moving. But thankfully he was born still. However, I marveled at his beauty and form. So tiny that he fit into the palm of my hand, yet large enough to see ears, fingers, nose, eyes, toes.

I hope and pray that you do not lose your baby. But just wanted to give you an idea of what it would be like at this stage, since you were wondering. It is not likely that you will deliver your baby without you knowing it and will just see him/her in the toilet. It is much more likely that you will feel the baby coming down the birth canal. It was a unique experience to me. One that I hope never to repeat, but one that I will always remember. And a son that I will never forget because I held him in my hands.
post #16 of 48
Thread Starter 
thanku so much for sharing that with me because it was really important for me to find out what to expect if it happens i feel like it will and now its not so scary,
i really hope that it won't but i just have to prepare myself,

i don't have energy for fight with AandE the last doctor on phone was actually just rude to me and i think that it will be really difficult to persuade them to scan me,
i am thinking if this doesn't go the way i think its going and the pregnancy sticks, i will ask to transfer my care to another hospital that is a bit further away but seems to have a better repuatation,

thanku everyone for prayers and kind words

everything is much the same still bleeding lots, though pain is not as intense as it was (prob because of stupidly strong painkillers)

post #17 of 48
I'm so sorry you're going through this, Jools. This has been a really rough pregnancy for you, hasn't it? You will be in my thoughts.
post #18 of 48
Jools. You have really been through the mill with this pregnancy. I hope everything works out well for you.
post #19 of 48
how scary for you - i wish you the best.
post #20 of 48

More support

Jools my thoughts are with you. Are you on bed rest or can you move around- or is it painful? When I've had scary things happen distraction turns into the name of the game for me and I will do anything to keep my mind active and away from worry... hope there is something distracting and positive in your life right now. Please keep up updated, I would like to support you anyway possible.
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