Convicing Husband to HS

[skylarsmom08]

So my DD is only 14 months and #2 is due Sept 17...so I have a lot of time, but I'm really becoming interested in HS'ing my children. I keep dropping hints to my husband and talking about different aspects of it and every time he is SOOO negative. He always says HS kids are weird, can't have normal conversations, and are socially awkward. While this may be the case for some kids, I know it's not the case for the majority. Another thing he talks about is the religious factor. We are both athiests and he feels only super religious people home school. Has anyone else been in a similar situation with their husbands? What did you say to them?

[skueppers]

What convinced my husband was going to a homeschooled teens panel discussion. He came home with a totally different attitude about homeschooling.

Regarding the religious angle, it does depend on where you live. In my particular neck of the woods, there are a lot of homeschoolers who are not doing it for religious reasons -- atheists, pagans, liberal protestants, etc. I'm pretty sure it's different further north in my state, though.

[Savoir Faire]

What convinced my husband was the culture aimed at little girls. As young as 3, it is Hannah montana and the whole rock star culture and such. I know kids as young as 7 wanting cell phones and ridiculous things for themselves.

When he realized that would be heading for our little girl, he got on board.

There are some books out there that discuss homeschool success stories. These are kids who can get into Harvard or become great artists, career military...the list goes on.

I find most little kids I meet are socially awkward-- as if talking to an adult leaves them completely unable to put words together. I've met a few homeschooled kids who were very capable of holding conversations with me without acting as if I were a complete and total waste of their time.

Also...might want to look into No child left behind. There's the whole testing culture that many parents are against-- google a bit of "teaching to the test" and show it to him.

Good luck!

[Lillian J]

Here's a link to a thread that connects to a number of other threads where people have discussed this extensively, offering personal success stories, tips, resources such as good books that helped them with this, etc.
Defending the choice to homeschool

Originally Posted by skylarsmom08

He always says HS kids are weird, can't have normal conversations, and are socially awkward. While this may be the case for some kids, I know it's not the case for the majority.

.

Well, to be perfectly honest, the thought that came to me was "That's ridiculous!!!" That's pretty much the gist of it . I've known a heckuva' lot of homeschoolers over the years, and most have been exceptionally good with social interaction. We moms would often hear from various people who worked with lots of kids - tour guides, music or drama teachers, etc., that they found homeschooled kids especially enjoyable to work with, because they were interested and enthusiastic, and polite in a way that treated adults like real people - not as if they were another species. And people who worked on various remodel projects we did on our home made the same comments about our son - that he behaved as if they were worth talking with.

There were a few awkward ones - exactly as there a few awkward ones who attend school! Can your husband think of any "weird" classmates he had in school? I certainly can think of some I went to school with.

Another thing he talks about is the religious factor. We are both atheists and he feels only super religious people home school. Has anyone else been in a similar situation with their husbands? What did you say to them?

He's dead wrong about the religious theory. I belonged to a very large support group, and we didn't have anyone in it who met that description. There was also a specifically Christian group in the area, but I think our group was larger. I knew lots of people all over our state who belonged to large secular groups!

Best of luck! Lillian

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by skueppers

What convinced my husband was going to a homeschooled teens panel discussion. He came home with a totally different attitude about homeschooling.

Yes! The first time we had a young adult homeschool grads panel at one of our homeschool conferences, we heard comments later from people who said they had decided right on the spot that they were going to homeschool in the hopes of their own children could grow up to be such mature out-of-the-box thinkers.

Lillian

[SpiderMum]

If I could I'd throw myself at him because I've never been to school a day in my life. I am not socially awkward. I have normal conversations with a variety of people on a daily basis. I am weird by some people's standards...the sorts of people that think breastfeeding is gross and hair dye is evil. I am religious, but that had nothing to do with homeschooling. I've known plenty of homeschoolers from different faiths (or lack thereof).

I'd let your husband know that he is buying into a very old stereotype. Ask him exactly how many homeschoolers he knows and HOW he knows them...if he gives you a story about how his mother's neighbor's friend from church's roomate's son knew a homeschooled kid that was totally messed up...roll your eyes at him and then kick him in the shin. Also point out that there are socially awkward people that come out of every school environment...if he doesn't believe you take him to a sci-fi convention.

[cappuccinosmom]

Find yourself a non-religious homeschooling group and start hanging with them. I have an aquaintance who tutored homeschoolers in Berkely, and I don't think there were a whole lot of Bible-thumping-religious-fundamentalist-types among her students.

My dh was worried about the academic thing, but our first year of homeschooling quickly proved him wrong. He's still a little concerned about social skills, but our kids are in enough activities that he knows it's a completely unreasonable concern as there is no evidence that they are socially stunted.

[justthinkn]

You have so much time to convince him! My husband was pretty shocked when I started thinking and talking about homeschooling about a year ago, when DD was about your LO's age... What helped first was that he agreed on a few situations where he could imagine homeschooling being a better option, if they arose - it was a foot in the door. And then I kept talking about new things I was reading and learning, and how I was getting excited for homeschooling as a good option no matter what, addressing different things that bugged him as I learned more...

He's totally on board now, as long as I still want to - he probably still has some concerns, but he trusts me. I think starting this early to have a "homeschooling" mentality means he gets to see how well DD is developing at home when the stakes are still low, so it'll just feel natural when she's 6 or 7 I think eventually finding a good homeschooling group, good friends for DD and good examples of how homeschooled kids turn out will be really helpful for DH, too