12yo Forgets to Eat

[chiromamma]

Hey Mamas,
I haven't posted here before but I'm very active on other parts of MDC.
I certainly hope you can help me with my 12yo son.
Our family eats a variety of healthy whole foods diet almost exclusively from scratch. We don't eat much dairy other than yogurt and milk for granola/cereal. I buy pretzels, raw nuts and dried fruit for snacks. We have dessert once or twice a week....a local ice cream parlor or I'll make cobbler, pie, cookies. Once a week we order in or go out...pizza, chinese, whatever. I think we have a good balance of very healthy foods while still allowing my kids to partake in some of the "food rituals of the popular culture."
Here's the problem, my 12yo son won't eat. During the school year, he'll pack a lunch and it rots in his backpack while he mooches junk food from his classmates. I'm working mornings now so the kids are at home alone for several hours. Yesterday, I came home at 2:30. He was melting down and hadn't eaten a bite.
Occasionally, I'll buy Annies Mac n Cheese on sale. He scarfs that down. He would live on it.
I don't have an issue with his being a light eater. It's the not eating and behavior that ensues. I also will not just buy whatever junk just to get something in him. It's close to becoming a power struggle and I don't want to go there with food.
We've tried having him plan meals. He loves to cook. That will work for a meal or two. It's his lack of self regulation, to recognize that he's hungry and needs to eat that concerns me.
FWIW, his 14yo sister is vegan and is taking fantastic responsibility for her nutrtion.
Thanks!

[avendesora]

I wonder if he has a legitimate craving, possibly salt. Salt has been demonized since people who eat lots of processed foods get way too much of it, but it is necessary for us, especially active kids during the summer. Would it make a difference to salt his food more heavily? Or maybe he's craving fat? More butter?

Personally, it would irk me on a financial level - food going to waste. I'd be tempted to charge him for the uneaten food. But that probably wouldn't help in avoiding food issues.

What works to motivate him?

Aven

[JustVanessa]

Have you thought about making breakfast mandatory? At least he will get one meal in before supper.

I used to hate eating when I was a teenager, I just was lazy and didn't want to bother making myself something. High protien smoothies in the morning might be a good thing to try.

[lil_earthmomma]

My father and my dh are both like this. They seriously "forget" to eat, meaning they have poor priorities. They ignore their hunger signals until they are the grumpiest bears and then they need to EAT NOW!

My dh does really well with grazing, while my Dad prefers to be served whatever as long as he doesn't have to think about it, make decisions about it or do anything to prepare it. (Leaving him more time to work and think. He's a computer programmer, and when he gets into it, he needs to finish before thinking about anything else. )

Perhaps your son could make his own lunch, and request his favorite healthy lunch foods. I remember you did an experiment a while ago where the kids were in charge of the food prep and shopping etc.