****Update*** Thank you for your responses. I did get a few of them here that really helped. I am unsubscribing now because I hope the issue has been resolved. I spoke with my friend and told her that I felt badly that I had put her into situations where she felt that she needed to discipline my son. I also told her that I felt bad that her daughter was being hurt or picked on and that it seems like the age differences between the kids are not very conducive to playdates. I informed her that from now on, we should try to schedule outings where we are actively engaged with the kids and not just hanging out at each other's houses while they play on the floor, etc. She understood, was not angry, but was saddened and said that this felt like it was limiting our friendship.
Here's the backstory:
I have a 3 1/2 year old boy, VERY active, aggressive, energetic and strong willed.
love him so much lol. My very good friend has a 20 month old little girl who is often timid, quiet, peaceful, etc. In the past, I have tried making friends with other moms who have boys because I often feel like my child's energy and demeanor is really misunderstood among mothers of girls. However, it looks like I keep attracting friends with daughters. 
Anyway, the problem here is that any scuffle that happens between my son and her daughter turns into her disciplining him. She almost always forces him to apologize (a practice we don't believe in.) Most recently, she told me that she found a way to get him to listen to her and do what she asks--by telling him "I'm going to go tell your mom!" A lot of this happens when I'm just out of earshot or not in the immediate room or am engaged in something else and can't get to the situation in time. Her and I have talked in general about how it's an interesting idea to let children work things out before immediately stepping in and fixing things for them, but she is obviously very protective of her daughter since she's much smaller, younger, etc.
I'm kind of at a loss at what to do and hope this difference in parenting styles won't equate to us having to spend less time together.
Any ideas?
Here's the backstory:
I have a 3 1/2 year old boy, VERY active, aggressive, energetic and strong willed.
love him so much lol. My very good friend has a 20 month old little girl who is often timid, quiet, peaceful, etc. In the past, I have tried making friends with other moms who have boys because I often feel like my child's energy and demeanor is really misunderstood among mothers of girls. However, it looks like I keep attracting friends with daughters. Anyway, the problem here is that any scuffle that happens between my son and her daughter turns into her disciplining him. She almost always forces him to apologize (a practice we don't believe in.) Most recently, she told me that she found a way to get him to listen to her and do what she asks--by telling him "I'm going to go tell your mom!" A lot of this happens when I'm just out of earshot or not in the immediate room or am engaged in something else and can't get to the situation in time. Her and I have talked in general about how it's an interesting idea to let children work things out before immediately stepping in and fixing things for them, but she is obviously very protective of her daughter since she's much smaller, younger, etc.
I'm kind of at a loss at what to do and hope this difference in parenting styles won't equate to us having to spend less time together.
Any ideas?
: One of my friends constantly corrected my son, even when I had already addressed him and was standing right next to him. I had to ask her to just stop and told her it was not her place to address my son. She still kept doing it for a while, maybe because correcting other people's children were so deeply ingrained in her. If you are truely friends with this woman, I don't see that it will be a problem to talk to her about it ever so gently. 
