Seriously, sibling separation strategies?

[AKfamily]

So how do you keep your 1 year old from messing with the 3 year old's stuff?
DS1 is very into making complicated towers and other very focused projects. DS2 is (of course) into everything that DS1 is doing.
My 1st strategy is barricades - if DS1 wants his own space to create he is more than welcome to it, he just needs to ask me to make a barricade (or to take it to the dining room table). This works sometimes, but sometimes the creation does not lend itself to moving to an area that I can barricade.
I feel like I'm telling DS1 he has to share space when he's not ready to...
SOMETIMES I can tempt DS2 with some other activity but usually not. He really wants to just be into whatever DS1 is doing.
I am noticing that I'm providing less activities than I'd like because I don't have a good strategy for each of them having the space they need.
I don't want to always be telling DS1 that DS2 gets to play if they are in a shared space (which at this point means DS2 grabbing stuff because he's 1 and that's what he's supposed to do) but then that DS1 can't grab from DS2...
I also feel like I'm setting DS1 up for frustration when I expect him to ask me for help rather than pushing DS2 away or trying to block him - DS1 definitely tries to do this but sometimes it's understandably frustrating.
Any suggestions? Oh, we have no doors in our house right now (mid-construction) so different rooms isn't an option for the time being.

[AllisonR]

Hi. Been there, done that. The good news is that in about 6 months your DS2 will be past the grabbing stage, and more into "helping" DS1 - still a lot of accidents and knocking down, but DS1 will be better, and DS2 will be a bit older and better able to cope with the accidents.

I don't think separating kids in different rooms would work anyway. Playing alone would be more "punishment" - some kids might like it, but imo, at that age, they both want to be where mommy is, or at least DS1 will want to be with DS2.

I had a very big dinning room table that DS could get up to when he was 3. DD was 1 and walking, but couldn't get up there without help. So if she really wanted to be there, she was up there with me, and I prevented accidents. Otherwise, DS got to have the table to himself, and make forts and construct stuff with his Geomagnets and legos and such. But since the table was in the big common play area, and I was there also or just in the next room, it worked out really well. Basically I cleaned the whole table off and it became his, sort of, as we all ate in the kitchen anyway. The best news is now they are 4.5 and 2.5 and play together really well, and can build stuff together. It is so cool.

[averlee]

I have heard of some moms using playpens, for the bigger kid. Your 1 yr old probably could not climb in, your 3 year old could keep his coins, papers, leggos in there. You can drag it from room to room or outside, many of them fold up, it could be a good fort/sanctuary.

[mrs_oli]

I second Averlee's suggestion!! When I read about that a couple years ago, it was too late for my kids. But it would have been a great solution! I could picture my older one getting a kick out of hanging out in the playpen or barricaded area.

[Mountaingirl79]

I think one of my ds #2's motivations for crawling was to get to his big brother's toys. I have a pic of him "army" crawling to get to a pile of his brother's matchbox cars when he was 7 months old.


I tried to set up a "tall" area for ds #1 to play at with his special big kid toys. It worked until little brother started climbing. Heehee.


It is annoying for the older sibling...but a changing, evolving thing, perhaps...

[aran]

We gated one bedroom off and keep the "big kid" toys there. DS1 (just turned 5) can work in there if he wants to preserve a project. However, he hates the seclusion, so he works at the table or on a countertop when he doesn't want to be disturbed.

Also - if I remind him, DS1 will build sacrificial structures next to the ones he wants to preserve that DS2 is allowed to "help" with. With my help, we can often find a way for DS2 to take part - often he can operate a loader or dump truck and deliver building materials or other supplies to DS1. Sometimes DS2 is the apprentice, who tries ro help but makes errors and we pretend to train him to do the job well, and practice patience.

Sometimes, I just tell DS1 that DS2 is like Godzilla - a giant monster bent on destroying his civilization. I pretend it's a terrible tragedy and both DSs think its funny (but this only works for projects where DS1 is not strongly attached to the end product).