Need some support from moms...

[Panserbjorne]

with kids in school. First off, UNCLE. I thought I could homeschool, I had the best of intentions but enough's enough. My kids aren't getting enough attention and I'm not getting any sleep. A bit of background:

My dh and I own a business and I am in school and working. We have, to date been hsing and the burden (and yes, as hard as it is to say that it has been a burden) has fallen directly on my shoulders. We have three kids, though only two are "of school age." I literally get about 3 hours of sleep a night and I'm really losing patience and mental capacity. Unfortunately we live in a lovely neighborhood in an abysmal school district. Public school is not an option here and we are living below the poverty line with no resources.

When I realized that my back was completely against a wall and something needed to change I started putting feelers out. This yielded one fabulous result. We've toured the school, the kids adore it, it's very close by etc...however it's pricey. Thing is that because of our income bracket and where we live we qualify to have more than half the tuition covered. This makes the choice a no-brainer for me. Now the tough part.

Unfortunately we missed the cutoff for the tuition assistance by days (mainly because it was a last minute decision to look at school as an option for the fall.) We are guaranteed the help for next year but the expenses for this year would be insane (for us.) So here's my dilemma. My dd is special needs and I feel that she really should enter K this year. Next year she will be looking at 1st. She is very bright, but has some medical issues that make it difficult to know at this point if this is going to be an option for her. Her assessment went great, but I'm concerned that holding her out for another year will put her at a disadvantage. I kind of feel, the earlier the better. I think K is a better place for her and it's possible that she will be mainstreamed pretty effortlessly so I don't want to hold her back at this point.

Ds should be going into first, but is behind in terms of the reading and writing, which we are working on. (We were unschooling and he's just recently started showing an interest-fine for unschooling, not fine for school.) I feel that holding him out another year for financial reasons seems to be a poor choice given how things are around here. In an unschooling world things are addressed when there is interest etc. That said, I'm not tuned in because of work/school etc and he's getting the short end of the stick. He wants to be learning more and I'm not there for him. Knowing that they are for sure going next year I have an obligation to get them up to where they "should" be. I know it's not a big deal, but it feels really daunting.

So the question is, what would you do? I can work more if they are in school and possibly cover the tuition for this year. It would help us all to have that happen, but it would be tough. Is it a better option to keep them home another year and just make sure we're going over the curriculum? That way it's not such a financial difficulty? Or should I keep ds home and work with him and just send dd to know where we stand?

I'm sorry this is so confusing. I'm exhausted and need some perspective. Please ask for clarification if needed!

[transformed]

[ChristaN]

I'd consider a few options:

1) Send them both to this school and work more to cover the cost. This sounds like probably the best option if you can make it work financially. However, if it is going to leave you unable to feed your family or so stressed financially that you can't function, consider some of the following:

2) Keep them both home this year, work more to cover some costs and while you are working hire a tutor to work one-on-one with your kids.

3) Partial hsing if your local district allows it. Send your kid to the local (not so great) school for just a few select subjects like reading and hs the rest.

If you don't enroll them this year, are you sure that they will get in next year? Also, are you sure that you will get financial aid next year?

[Panserbjorne]

Thanks, mama. It is guaranteed they are in next year and guaranteed that they have the aid. They will be going next year. The school has bent over backwards for us and truly want the kids there (there is some political interest here, but I'm ashamed to say that I'll take it!) I just spoke to them and they were able to cut the monthly payments down by $200 with help from private donors. So that is very helpful.....but 1/4 of what needs to be covered. It would absolutely stress us, but the universe has a way of providing once you take the leap. I do believe in my hear of hearts that this is the best choice and that it can happen. I just don't know how responsible it is to sign the papers with no evidence that it *can* happen.

The reality is that I have people waiting for me to go into practice full time and then I could cover the tuition effortlessly. It just takes a lot of faith to take the step. At some point though, it's going to have to happen, so why not now? That would certainly make me a happier person.

I will certainly look into the partial homeschooling-that is an interesting choice. Thanks for the response. It helps to talk through this.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

I agree that talking through things here can be a wonderful help!

Since you have some idea that you can cover the cost and since there is a guarantee for next year, I woudl say go for it. It really does sound like this will be the best option for everyone concerned and its not like you are starting with no income potential at all. Really, none of us know from minute to minute what our employment situation is going to be, so you are no worse off then the rest of this school's parents.

Though in your budget equation, do realize that starting at a private school can have "start up" costs -- uniforms and fees that seem to all come due at once. We get 100% financial assistance from our school but I still find August a real budget stretch to cover everything we have to do at the first of the year. Be sure you know what all of the costs are. Especially being the "poor" kids in the class, sometimes you get caught be something that is "no big deal" for 95% of the families, but a total stretch for you. For example, the custom at our school is for the room moms to collect money from each family at the beginning of the year for teacher gifts and parties throughout the year. Well, $150 per kid may be nothing to most of these families, but for us it means stretching the meal budget reeeeally tight.

[The Hidden Life]

Personally, I would tour the local public school to make sure it was absolutely off the list before committing myself to private school tuition financed by potential earnings. Who knows, maybe teachers or programs have changed since you last looked?

[FireWithin]

No advice, dear Mama, just hugs.
Try not to fear about starting a full time practice, many people who are full of knowledge and love are waiting for the best to open up her practice.

[lightheart]

I would definitely look at the public school that is available for your special needs daughter for this year, you might be very surprised.

last year we sent our little guy to the SN preschool program that was in one of the public schools that everyone told us to stay away from their district when we were looking at moving here. I was really scared when i found out the only SN preschool program was at that school... until I met the teachers and saw them in action!!!!!

Having your daughter and son in different schools this year may be difficult logistics wise but financially may make things able to work for you guys.

Something else to remember with your SN child, IEP, Individual education plan, you can work very closely with the teachers and therapists tailoring your daughter's education just for her.

[Ellien C]

I second the advice to at least look at the local public schools if you haven't already. They could surprise you. Good luck.

[Panserbjorne]

thanks, all. Not only did I look at the public schools, I have taught in them for the state funded after school programs. They are simply not an option. Aside from the fact that the elementary school has kids SMOKING outside they told us to expect about 2 to 2.5 HOURS of homework for first grade. I just think that's absurd. Most schools do a half hour! AND because they have NEVER in the last 10 years met the standards for state testing the kids are *required* to do after school programs for coaching so they can pass the next one. Really, when I say it's a horrible district, I'm not kidding. Good neighborhood, horrific schools. My kids will not have that be their first experience.