Do you let your children... - Page 4

[KirstenMary]

- walk up the down stairway? no - it's rude and inconsidorate to others
- walk up the slide (if it is safe for them to do so)? no - see above. in our backyard, though, yes.
- walk barefoot in the grass in the backyard? yes
- pick the flowers in your backyard? etc? flowers, lol?

What does that say about your parenting? you tell me

nak btw

[Elizabeth2008]

1. I don't know what you mean by a "down stairway". Is this an escalator? If so, then, no, I would tell him that was not safe and inconsiderate of others. If it's just stairs, then why not! But I encourage him to always be considerate of others and not run into people's bodies, etc.

2. Sure, as long as other children aren't coming down. Again, it's all about being considerate of others. He also knows that little ones on the slide take more time and he needs to give them extra space

3. Absolutely! I think there's something quite healing to the human spirit of feeling grass between your toes. In fact, adults should do it more often frankly

4. Absolutely! What would childhood be without picking flowers. In fact I encourage him to help me pick flowers to encourage new blossoms. The only ones I tell him not to pick are roses and blossoms from flowering fruit bushes/trees.

I don't think this says much about my parenting, except that I don't believe in setting unnecessary boundaries for children. If I'm judicious in what I tell him NOT to do, he's more likely to take me seriously

[JennTheMomma]

Yes to everything, as long as its safe. I'm always right there with him, playing with him instead of sitting down on the bench that seems like a mile away. Not sure what it says about my parenting. I guess that I teach my son how to play safe and when not to do those things.

[tjjazzy]

Originally Posted by ABmom

- walk up the down stairway?
- walk up the slide (if it is safe for them to do so)?
- walk barefoot in the grass in the backyard?
- pick the flowers in your backyard? etc?

What does that say about your parenting?

if there was no one else around and they wanted to try it, i can see me letting them (holding my hand and only for a few seconds, probably, just to try)...if we're talking escalator here?
if there aren't any other kids making use of the slide, i don't really tell them how to use one
i allow it if they want to but it does make me nervous about bee stings (haha or dog poop!)
we don't have any! LOL. we bought a house with some sad landscaping!

it says i'm careful but not exactly a helicopter mom, i'd say.

[tjjazzy]

Originally Posted by Elizabeth2008

3. Absolutely! I think there's something quite healing to the human spirit of feeling grass between your toes. In fact, adults should do it more often frankly

my yoga teacher talked about doing this when the grass is dewy. she would totally agree with you. i think she had some facts about the feet and pressure points or something in relation to it as well. i can't quite remember now.

[Deefodil]

Originally Posted by ABmom

- walk up the down stairway?
- walk up the slide (if it is safe for them to do so)?
- walk barefoot in the grass in the backyard?
- pick the flowers in your backyard? etc?

What does that say about your parenting?

I allow all of those things. I think that it says that I value experience over destination or tradition.

[tjjazzy]

Originally Posted by moondiapers

- must wear socks with runners because shoes without socks makes for NASTY DISGUSTING STINKY feet
- can't wear dress-up clothes outside because then they are stained up playclothes afterward and we can only afford to have 2 nice outfits at a time.

i have to agree. and don't you find you get blisters and discomfort without socks in your runners? and they get gross and smelly.

and dress-up clothes aren't meant for playing in. we can't all afford to be going out to buy new ones every time they get stains on them!

the leg swinging rule is one i only agree with if we are sitting at a booth in a restaurant. i don't want to annoy other patrons if my child is banging his feet on the bench. otherwise, i don't care as long as they're not running all over the house/restaurant with food!

i also inflict a rule that kids SIT while they eat. it's for safety and respect reasons. it drive me absolutely nuts when people allow their children to wander all over my house leaving a trail of crumbs behind them.

rules aren't all bad or unreasonable. IMHO they teach respect for others

[Mountaingirl79]

I just keep checking in to see if the OP has defined " down staircase."

I'm dying to know what that is. If it's an escalator, why would you walk UP the DOWN? They make UP ones that go UP. I can't imagine letting a child try to go up when there are people standing there going down.


I think I'm half and half on that list.

[eepster]

- walk up the down stairway?
On the rare occasions a stairwell is designated as "up" or "down" it is usually for traffic flow and safety reasons in a very busy crowded place. While I can see that going against this at none busy times is harmless, we are less likely to be there at such times. Also since most of these rules are set up in places like schools, I won't be the person their to say "yes" or "no."

- walk up the slide (if it is safe for them to do so)?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Even if there is no safety concerns (which there often are) it also depends on whether the slide has a surface that is likely to be damaged by DS's dirty shoes, if there are younger children around who will copy him and get hurt, or if others are around who wish to use the slide in a more conventional manner.

- walk barefoot in the grass in the backyard?
I didn't for a while since we had a thistle problem, but once we had that taken care of yes.

- pick the flowers in your backyard? etc?
Dandelions, clovers, etc, Yes. Flowers that I have spent a lot of money on and want to come back next year, like tulips, peonies, daffodils, etc, No.

Originally Posted by ABmom

It got me thinking about how we (as society) imposes some rules just for the sake of having them. The other three questions are just random "rules" that I often hear/see parents imposing on their children. There are other "rules" like

Though one may not fully understand a rule, believe in it's premise or even agree with it's aim, that doesn't mean that any rule should simply be looked at as existing "just for the sake of having them." Pretty much every rule that has ever existed had a reason for being created.

- don't swing your legs when sitting on a chair
This rule is so that the child doesn't kick people, or damage the chair s/he is sitting in. Though there are obviously times when the chair is not going to be damaged and there is no one to kick, once it has become a habit for the child it is harder for the parent to enforce in situations where it is a issue.

- must wear socks with runners
This keeps the sneaker from getting smelly and prevents blisters.

- can't wear dress-up clothes outside
Dress up clothing is expensive and fragile, most parents hope to get at least a few wearings out of each outfit.

- must sit criss-cross not on heals/feet
This is about good posture, many people believe that good posture prevent health problems like backaches in the long run. Therefore they try to instill this habit in their children young before bad posture causes problems.

What does that say about your parenting?
That I want my child to grow up to be a person who is respectful of others, their property and the earth. I want him to think of the possible consequences of his actions for himself and others. I don't want him to be destructive with a disposable attitude towards things that cost both money and use natural resources.

In general I do tend to believe in following the rules of our society. Not b/c I believe that blind obedience to authority is important, but b/c I believe most rules have a purpose, whether I know what it is or not.

I do believe in questioning rules that are no longer relevant to our modern lives. I believe in questioning rules that I feel are based on faulty information or false premises. I believe in fighting against rules that were set up to further goals that I disagree with.

With very young children, I tend to avoid making exceptions to rules when possible since it leads to the child not feeling like rules are important, so I tend to enforce them most of the time even when they are rules that are more important at certain times than others. For example, I enforce the "hold mommies hand in the parkinglot rule, whether or not it is busy, or waiting for a greenlight to cross the street.

[milkybean]

We try to stay to the right (assuming we're in a country with the same walk on x side rules, LOL), so staircases are going to be the same.

Going up on slides is an ABSOLUTE no no for us. It's possible, that if we had a place with a backyard, and had a slide, that I would let that, ha, slide, but since all we have are public parks, NEVER.

We were at the park recently and despite seeing plenty of adult bodies sitting on the sides, we were the ONLY parents trying to keep children from being smashed by kids going up. Our son, thankfully, managed to both see a tiny mite of a girl and hear us warning him to stop, and he could'nt stop BUT pulled his body to the side and grabbed on to the side of the slide, so he didn't smash her when she decided to go up a spiral slide AFTER he'd already started down. It was that moment that all of us decided we'd had enough...if someone can't even tell their tiny 2 year old to not go up a slide, when there is a steady stream of kids going down, and an obvious contingent of big (and some little) kids going UP, we didn't want to be there. Slides are for going down. There's plenty of climbing equipment out there.

In addition, the shoes get the slide dirtier than they should be.


We don't have a backyard, and I'm not letting anyone go barefoot at our local parks. Bleah. If we had a backyard, and if DS wanted to, I'm sure he'd go barefoot. I certainly did while growing up!


The first two, I believe, say that we are very very mindful of others, and we don't want uncontrolled chaos going on. Kids who go up the down (and note that we see it ALL the time, so obviously we're not seeing you guys...but with a spiral slide you don't KNOW who might be at the top, once you've started up, and those at the top don't necessarily know who is coming up) are pretty much cutting in line (b/c they go up then down, almost all the time), and I just hate that.

The other wto are just circumstantial, that we don't live in a house.

[teale]

Originally Posted by mamazee

1. So long as she won't be in anyone's way, sure.
2. So long as no one is not on the way down, sure.
3. Absolutely.
4. Absolutely.

This is how we work too.

No point in having rules that aren't rules, imo.

[leighi123]

- walk up the down stairway?
- walk up the slide (if it is safe for them to do so)?
No to these - I have aspergers and Im big on 'following the rules' even if they are dumb ones!

- walk barefoot in the grass in the backyard? - ds hardly ever wears shoes, we live in florida, its too hot for shoes, and I hate shoes myself, I wear flip flops when shoes are required and otherwise nothing.

- pick the flowers in your backyard? - We dont have flowers, but he picks the tomatoes!

[borbonmamma]

Originally Posted by ABmom

- walk up the down stairway?
- walk up the slide (if it is safe for them to do so)?
- walk barefoot in the grass in the backyard?
- pick the flowers in your backyard? etc?

What does that say about your parenting?

1. no
2. if no one is coming
3. Yes
4. Yes
5. no idea

[Polliwog]

Originally Posted by Mountaingirl79

I just keep checking in to see if the OP has defined " down staircase."

I'm dying to know what that is. If it's an escalator, why would you walk UP the DOWN? They make UP ones that go UP. I can't imagine letting a child try to go up when there are people standing there going down.


I think I'm half and half on that list.

The OP did clarify, in post 29. I think I've been in some subway stations years ago which had designated up and down stairs. For ease of traffic flow. In situations like that, unless it was an emergency, I wouldn't use the opposite set of stairs.

I was at the park yesterday and watched the slides. I'm also a former teacher. In both situations the number of of children going up and down the slides were pretty equal. We don't frequent tiny parks/playgrounds so there's rarely a line for the slides. So, going up isn't really a safety issue at all. I don't like kids climbing up curved slides, unless we are the only ones there since it's hard to see who's at the top vs the bottom.