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I STILL can't tell my MZ twins apart. Seriously.

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
So, unlike many of you mamas of MZ twins who swear that they are so different (to the point that you don't even believe the DNA results I cannot tell my beautiful, almost 7 month old, girls apart. They are nearly the exact same weight, same height, etc., etc. Here is a pic from this week. Now, sometimes if they are both together, side by side, I can pick out who is who as one (Kate) is just a teeny tiny bit thinner in the face, but it is such a minor difference that I can get it wrong if maybe she was the last one to eat or something. People truly can't believe that we can't tell them apart, I mean, what kind of mother am I??? We do keep them dressed differently so that we are always using their names, so I'm not worried about that (Tess wears patterns and Kate wears solids). And if there ever was a mix up Tess does have a very noticeable birthmark, it just happens to be right up the crack of her back side. In terms of personality, I think it's still a little early...Kate does seem to be a bit more active - lots of kicking and rolling and almost crawling (definitely NOT ready for this stage : ), and Tess smiles a bit more, but certainly we can't walk into a room, see one baby and say "hey, that's xxx".

So, any of you MZ mama's encounter this? Know anyone who has? I mean, I know it's not the end of the world, and I know (hope!) that at some point I will be able to tell them apart, but it IS DRIVING ME NUTS
post #2 of 29
Maybe I am imagining it, but it appears to me that Tess has a very, very slight widow's peak, while Kate's hairline is more rounded?

They are adorable!
post #3 of 29
I see the widow's peak, too. But I wouldn't feel too bad - your MZ twins look very, very alike to me. (Future twin contest winners?) One of your girls looks a bit more scampy to me, but they both look pretty joyful.
post #4 of 29
I noticed the widow's peak right away as well. That could work until they start growing hair. They are beautiful.
post #5 of 29
ok, maybe it's the difference between ppl who can remember details of what people look like generally. i can't. honestly, i panic if i have to recall details of any kind because i'm so bad. i'd never be used as a witness as i'd be like....um, the car was red. actually. maybe it was blue (and i happened to see a red car pass too) i think it was a convertible (but maybe that was the one parked at the side of the road) and it was a woman driving (but maybe she was in the passenger seat!?!)

i get my boy/girl mixed up sometimes. my dh got the girl dressed in boy clothes and i only noticed the joke as i tried to put the girl clothes on the boy and they didn't fit. everyone found it hysterical. i almost said 'omg, she's grown' but caught everyone laughing
so yeah, great powers of observation. not. can we have a badge for intuition instead

one of your girls looked slightly chubbier in the face to me. now i can see the peak, but never would have picked that out. hopefullythat's a good cue.
(if you can remember who it is that has the peak )
post #6 of 29
I saw the widow's peak too. But I was looking for anything. They are adorable, btw.

When mine were 7 months, I was so tired that I sometimes got my b/g twins mixed up. They look totally different. One has red hair, one brown. DD is taller and weighs more. DS is slender and straight bodied. One night I picked up ds to nurse before bed, looked at him then went to get dd's blankie. I gave him her blankie and couldn't figure out why he didn't want it. DH looked at me like I'd lost my mind. All that to say that maybe when you are getting more rest it will become more apparent to you.
post #7 of 29
I see the widow's peak, too!


I can't even imagine what this must be like! I am so sorry. It is hilarious that you'd have to peek at the butt crack to tell them apart. Nature's sense of humor!

I have no experience with this as my girls are dz and each take after separate sides of the family.
post #8 of 29
They are soooooooooo identical, I feel for you, Suzy!!! We still are unsure about Serena and Sierra, and they have a LOT of differences, but we will still do things like give Sierra a pacifier, when it's only Serena who will take one, and we wonder why Sierra's spitting it out, only to find that it IS Sierra, and not Serena...
I did notice the slightly thinner face as you mentioned, but unless they are next to each other to compare, I find that to be a problem. Serena's face is thinner too, but that doesn't help us if they are by themselves, as I've gone both ways thinking that Serena's thin face actually looked "chubbier" on some days, only to find out it was Sierra I was looking at.
For the most part, we do pretty good b/c our girls look VERY different, but I am here to tell you that even with potentially FRATERNAL twins, we get mixed up A LOT!!!!
At some point they will not respond to the name you are calling, and you'll have to start using clues like that. It also doesn't help that DD1 is almost 99% consistent in getting them wrong... Now she tries to figure out who seems "tougher", and then determines who she is looking at.
post #9 of 29
I see the widow's peak too, I was just looking for any difference, and I see what you mean by Kate being a tiny bit thinner in her face. So on this pic, where you wrote that you didn't know which is which, I think Kate is left and Tess is right.
They are so beautiful!
post #10 of 29
My trio are TZ, and very different. My nieces, however, are MZ. Until they were about 18 months old, their mother was the only one who could ever tell them apart because she could remember who had the little thing on her earlobe - and even she made frequent mistakes. Now, when she looks back at pictures that she didn't label, she can't tell the difference. It wasn't until they turned 4 and she cut their hair for the first time that we stopped making mistakes. One of them has a name with an "L" sound at the beginning and her hair is "longer".

As they get older, it is getting easier for everybody to tell them apart just based on their personalities, but we still rely on the hair check to be sure before using their names. My brother stopped making regular mistakes when the girls were about 3. His MIL used to swear she always got them right and that therefore they weren't "identical." My brother used to say that as far as he was concerned, they were identical until he could tell them apart.

You'll get there, but it may be a while before you stop using a trick to remember like the clothing.
post #11 of 29
Thread Starter 
Ah, I just knew you guys would help So, call it lack of sleep or lack of observation, I had never noticed the widow's peak thing...there's just not a lot of hair to look at, but I'm going to try this to see if it works. Dh and I have been attempting to strip them down and bring one out into the other room and have the other parent guess who it is...yah, it's like family game night, twin-style, I mean, how else do you have excitement on a Friday night?

I'm also trying to at least always place Tess on the left now in photos (first born) so at least I know who is who in my favourite clothing-optional photos. And yes, pixiekisses I think you are right about that photo, especially now that I see that darned widow's peak thing (speaking of which, my dh had no idea what that was lol).

shukr - you made me feel much better
post #12 of 29
it seriously took me up until about 6m before I was even remotely confident I knew who was who. I used to mark their foot with a sharpie, with an A, and a T. Later, their physical milestones made it easy (who was crawling, walking, etc.) Their personalities have totally switched, which is hysterical. I used to call Adam my 'crabby patty', and couldn't peel him off me. Now, Thomas is the biggest momma's boy anyone has ever seen. Adam eats better, and signs more often. Thomas has a bit of a rascal in him .... today, he burped out loud, then started cracking up laughing!

I have days when I will get them mixed up, but it's getting more and more rare.
Here's one in June, and I had to study it, to see who was who.
With Daddy, and I have no idea which boy is which.
But this one .... they don't even look that much alike, to me.


Your girls are adorable, BTW!
post #13 of 29
Dianna that last one doesn't look alike ONLY because they have two completely different expressions and how you've got the camera catches them at slightly different facial angles. Your twins are some of the hardest to tell apart, IMO!
post #14 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuzyQ2+2 View Post
Ah, I just knew you guys would help So, call it lack of sleep or lack of observation, I had never noticed the widow's peak thing...there's just not a lot of hair to look at, but I'm going to try this to see if it works. Dh and I have been attempting to strip them down and bring one out into the other room and have the other parent guess who it is...yah, it's like family game night, twin-style, I mean, how else do you have excitement on a Friday night?

I'm also trying to at least always place Tess on the left now in photos (first born) so at least I know who is who in my favourite clothing-optional photos. And yes, pixiekisses I think you are right about that photo, especially now that I see that darned widow's peak thing (speaking of which, my dh had no idea what that was lol).
on the pop quizzes. My husband and I do that sometimes....not really as a deliberate challenge, but just needing a good hard scrutiny sometimes when the other one has the babies or dressed them. We don't always tell right away, and let the other spouse guess. With our guys, we usually can tell, but sometimes it takes a moment of concentration, and a bit of comparing.

We recently have resorted to checking their teeth....twin A had three bottom teeth to twin B's two. But they've been teething and twin B got two more all at once and twin B got the fourth, so now they both have four bottom teeth.

And I wanted to say that if I "place" or pose them for photos, I do put twin A on the left (as you look at them) and have done that pretty reliably (but not 100% of the time) since they were infants. That helps with the baby pics!

It happens less now that they are mobile and we are ending up with snapshots that have nothing to do with posing them or setting them up.
post #15 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intertwined View Post
Dianna that last one doesn't look alike ONLY because they have two completely different expressions and how you've got the camera catches them at slightly different facial angles. Your twins are some of the hardest to tell apart, IMO!
Dianna, you have really got to take a break from the identical outfits! They were wearing the same things in every photo!

At least the swimsuits....think how much easier it would be if you knew Adam had the red trunks, for instance. But you like a challenge, don't you?

Just busting your chops. I am a fan of matching their outfits, but a lot of times I do it in a coordinating way. So they have a lot of outfits "sets" that obviously go together but often in mirror image ways, or like a photo/negative way. Blue with pear trim, pear colored with blue trim. Green with little blue stripes, blue with little green stripes. Navy with white and light blue trim, light blue with navy and white trim. Romper with fish, romper with frog. Orange romper with plaid crab applique, and solid plaid romper (same plaid as the crab.) Or one crab romper and one crab shorts/t-shirt pair that matches. That sort of thing. (I like to get them "crab" stuff because their July birthday makes them Cancer/crabs.)

Then again, sometimes I will put the outfits on opposite babies than usual (or my husband will do so) and I'll spend the day thinking that N is L just because he's wearing the outfit that L wore last time they wore that set. It really can mess with my mind, even though I supposedly can tell them apart. (Sometimes I can't consciously remember who wore what, until I dress them and realize that Oh yeah, L must have worn that last time.)

I always have to look harder and more closely when they are wearing exact matching outfits (which we also do.)


OP, your girls are precious, PRECIOUS!, and I can see why they are hard to tell apart. My guys have mostly personality differences, and vocal tendencies, but then they do morph those and things can get tricky. My boys have slightly different hairlines (and I noticed that slight difference with your twins), but in your case I think the slightly chubbier face might be more reliable. Still, that's based in comparison, not a strong distinction. Their smiles even look similar, though. Hope for some personality distinctions!!
post #16 of 29
Oh Tammy, don't feel bad!!

God was good to us - when our babies were born, B had long hair, and J was bald, so we could even tell them apart in the dark just by touching their heads. Unfortunately J's hair grew fast, and by the time they were 9 months old, they both had enough hair for the other to grab on to and pull. I got them both buzz cuts to prevent the hair-pulling (which worked beautifully), but we had NO idea who was who! B has a birthmark on his temple, and J one on his tummy, so we wouldn't ever mix them up completely, but we sure couldn't tell from across the room.

That's when we started to color-code. We rarely dressed them alike before that (we had a lot of hand-me-down clothes), but we started putting B in anything Blue - J wore every other color. Even people who only saw them rarely could remember "Blue for B", and call them by the right name.

As they got older it got easier - especially when they decided they liked looking different, and always got different haircuts. But I still have days where I don't know immediately (and they're almost 15 years old!) and I have some pictures taken in matching outfits where I have to look on the back to see who's who (I marked every photo we took).

They still wear different clothes, different colored ski jackets, hats, etc - more to express their individuality than to make like easier for us, but I'll take whatever works!
post #17 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by DiannaK View Post

I have days when I will get them mixed up, but it's getting more and more rare.
Here's one in June, and I had to study it, to see who was who.
With Daddy, and I have no idea which boy is which.
But this one .... they don't even look that much alike, to me.
See, I could never win this game, I can't tell those 2 apart at all! They are so cute Dianna!
post #18 of 29
Stopped in from the main board. You're girls are absolute angels. They are seriously some of the cutest 7 month olds I've ever seen

I can totally see the widow's peak. There's your tell tale sign until their hair starts sprouting.
post #19 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyC View Post
Dianna, you have really got to take a break from the identical outfits! They were wearing the same things in every photo!

At least the swimsuits....think how much easier it would be if you knew Adam had the red trunks, for instance. But you like a challenge, don't you?

!
laughing .... boy, am I a dork! I really didn't think about that!

The only time they match, is when I dress them, since Brett just yanks whatever he can find out of the closet!
post #20 of 29
Suzy, your girls are way cute!!
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