mother questions and problems

[kevinsmom08]

ok i have a question and a concerne. my 15 month old son is dealing with regression due to me loosinb my father. i expected some regression but not to this extent. he cannot eat table food and even has problems with stage 3 baby food. he has been in therapy for months to deal with tnese issues. my greatest source of irration os my mother. she pushes table food on my son eventhough my husband and i have told her repeatdly not to do it. i was wondering if any of you have dealt with this situation and if any of you had any advice.

[butterfly_mommy]

I am sorry for the loss of your father. I lost my father when I was 12. I do not understand why your son can not have table food Is it a sensory thing?, Medical condition, etc?

Your mother should respect you as a parent. If she has a concern or suggestion for you then she should talk to you in a respectful way.

I don't understand why you can not just put table foods on your sons tray/plate/your plate for him to explore, taste and enjoy? Have you tried Baby Led Weaning ?

[holothuroidea]

I think at 15 months he should be encouraged to eat table food. You mention regression so it sounds like he was able to eat it before and now will not.

By encourage I do not mean shove food in his mouth, obviously, but put table food on his tray during meal time.

It sounds like you both need to let out some of your feelings, have you had a good cry with him?

He may need to have a good tantrum or two (or twenty ) to get his feelings out and learn how to deal with them. This is normal and I would let them happen. Find a safe place and a good time to let him explore his emotions. He is sensing your grief, and that is a huge feeling for a 15 month old, he is probably having some trouble dealing with it and you need to help him work it out.

The good thing about family is that when tragedies like this happen, you never go through it alone. Sometime, allow your family to feel their feelings together.

[kevinsmom08]

He's always had problems with various textured foods since we started baby food at 4 mos. He would eat some table food like green beans and mashed potatoes and he does it that now but he chokes on even the gerber graduate snacks like the puffs. Him having a hard time with those is not new. He's doing 4 diff types of therapy and I have exained all of this to my mom and she gives him diced apples instead.

[holothuroidea]

There is a big difference between choking and gagging.

If he is gagging on foods it may be worthwhile to let him work it out. It's difficult for some kids to get used to new textures but if you just keep encouraging he'll catch on soon enough. A gag here and there is to be expected and is quite normal. I don't see anything wrong with offering a 15 month old some diced apples.

4 types of therapy? What kind? I mean, that sounds a little overkill for a 15 month old. I don't know, if you look for problems you're going to find them.

[LynnS6]

"Mom, the doctor said to feed him only X, Y and Z."

This has two advantages: you've invoked an outside expert, so she can't argue with YOU.

Second, you've told her what TO give and not what not to give. So, tell her what he can have and leave it at that. If she doesn't get the message, tell her again. If she still doesn't, say "Mom, I need to keep ds safe. We just won't be able to visit around meal times if you do this." Then leave.

[LynnS6]

Originally Posted by holothuroidea

I don't know, if you look for problems you're going to find them.

And sometimes problems come up to bite you, even when you're trying hard not to find problems and accept your child for the quirks and all. There ARE children who have issues with choking/gagging on food so much that they won't eat solids. And very often it requires both an occupational therapist and a speech therapist (they do slightly different things) to get a handle on why this is an issue and how to treat it.

As a parent who's had a child in occupational therapy (and the same child may well need some sort of therapy for anxiety), this bothers me. I don't know the OP's situation, but I can easily see an occupational therapist and a speech therapist being involved.