Haircuts!?

[holothuroidea]

Does anyone else here not want to cut their kids hair?

So, this is how I feel about it. Their hair is part of them, and they should get to decide when they want it cut. It's not like nails that cause problems if they get too long, you know?

I feel like I'm totally off the radar with my feelings on the subject, and I don't know how to explain it to anyone without sounding like a crazy person. It's alright now because I only have a girl and it's easy for me to explain that I just want her to have long hair, but what happens if you have a boy?

Thoughts?

[betsyj]

As long as I have to take care of it hair is not long in my house. Once Jack is old enough to care for his hair himself he can have whatever style he desires.

[Alyantavid]

We leave it up to the kids to decide if they want haircuts or not.

My 7 year old has fairly short hair right now, he got it cut a month or so ago and it was that long shaggy style that's popular now.

My 3 year old has only had a couple of trims ever so his is getting long.

[mbhf]

Well, my oldest (a boy) had long hair until he was 5. I loved it. My dh did not. And I think I created a rather extreme attachment between my son and his hair. I think as a toddler/young preschooler he actually would have preferred to have short hair, for the ease of upkeep. When we did decide to cut his hair, it was difficult for him. He hated for me to brush and wash his hair, it would get really tangled and it hurt and he hated that people were always calling him a girl, but he didn't want it cut because *I* made such a big deal out of it.

[kirstenb]

Originally Posted by betsyj

As long as I have to take care of it hair is not long in my house. Once Jack is old enough to care for his hair himself he can have whatever style he desires.

That's pretty much how I feel too. When DS can take care of his own hair I don't really care what style he picks. For now he gets it cut a couple times a year.

[meemee]

yeah i agree with you that they should have their say. however they need guidance in their say too. plus for other reasons you might have to cut their hair. for instance my dd was born with superfine long hair. her hair would get really badly tangled so i had to cut the back and always the bangs when she was younger.

she had her first hair cut when she was 2 1/2, when she saw me getting my hair cut. she knew exactly what she wanted and told the hairdresser so. we had to talk to her and ask her questions - not try to change her mind, but to make sure she knew what it entailed. she wanted it short all around with a hole in the center just like grandpas.

since then she has been in charge of her hair. last month she was dying to cut her own hair. she is 6. so i gave her the scissors and told her go do what you want and then i will take you to the salon and get it trimmed. oh she was soooooooooo thrilled. this was the second time doing this. at 3 she trimmed her bangs perfectly behind my back.

she cut her hair which was mid waist length to just below her ears and got bangs. she wanted a haircut when she was little. OMG i cant believe how ADORABLE she looks. she did a pretty good job. the hair dresser shaped it all.

and best of all. my dd LOOOOOVED cutting her own hair. she loved telling other's 'the first time i did it my mommy was so surprised at how well i cut my hair that she could not be angry. so this time she said if i could do so well when i was little then i shouldnt do too bad now either.' and she did. it was all uneven, however she kinda cut in the style she wanted.

[NYCVeg]

Originally Posted by holothuroidea

So, this is how I feel about it. Their hair is part of them, and they should get to decide when they want it cut. It's not like nails that cause problems if they get too long, you know?

Not entirely true. My child has extremely curly hair and when it gets long, it's impossible--it gets horrible tangles and can't be kept out of her eyes. Keeping it reasonably short isn't a bid to quash her self-expression or impose my will on her: it's an attempt to keep her hair healthy without spending (painful) hours combing it out.

When she's old enough to take care of her own hair and/or to have strong feelings about it, she can do whatever she wants--and I mean that. I would let her shave her head, get a mohawk, grow her hair to waist--whatever she wants so long as she's old enough to 1) participate in caring for it and 2) know that it may take a very long time for a more extreme haircut to grow out. But toddlers are different; her concerns should be running and playing, not worrying about keeping her hair out of her eyes or having to spend ages every night getting detangled.

You say it's not like nails that cause problems if they get too long, but the converse is true, too--it's not like piercing ears or circumcision or other body modifications that can't be undone. If a child doesn't like the haircut, it will grow out.

[My3guys]

Well, I agree it is their body and their hair and when they are old enough to make informed choices, I am fine with whatever they decide. However, at their age, the majority of their grooming falls to me and so I do have a say. I help wash their hair, help brush their teeth, help clip their nails, decide when it is bath time, etc. so I do have a say. My guys actually always are asking to "take a haircut" as they are very, very active guys and their heads get so hot in sweaty in the summer running all over the place playing their games. They realize it is cooler with cut hair.

Also, our school has had a horrible lice problem these last two years and short hair helps a great deal with NOT getting lice. So far, we have been lucky and have NOT gotten it once which is pretty amazing considering how prevalent it has been these last two years.

When they are older and can present a well reasoned argument, I am fine with pretty much whatever they want to do with their bodies...long hair, pink hair, small tatoo, piercing. As long as they can explain their rationale in a way that makes sense to me, cool.

[SweetPotato]

We have issues with this at our house because 3.5 yo dd has decided she wants long hair but can be a real pill about brushing it, etc. (and it's very fine, so it gets pretty tangly quickly) I try not to be too uptight, let her pick out her outfits, etc., but I do tell her that if she wants long hair, she needs to let me help her take care of it. If we can't brush it or pull it back then it will need to be cut- not because I don't care what she wants or respect her choices, but because our household does not need the daily conflict of fighting over having her hair combed. She had it short about 6 months ago and it was SOOOOO nice and peacfeul for all of us just not having to even touch it in the morning!

[Alyantavid]

Well I may have different views on it if my kids put up a fight about washing or brushing. Since they don't, its completely up to them.

[NiteNicole]

Because it's fairly easy to care for and she's been pretty good about letting me put in ponys, barettes, and head bands, it's not yet been an issue. She's 3.5 and she's never had a trim and somehow doesn't have split ends (although I guess it's not like she's had highlghts, blowouts, or used a flat iron like her mother).

However, if it had been hard to keep the tangles out, if she had fought me on putting something in to keep it out of her eyes, if she had a fit every time I brushed or washed it, I probably would have started keeping it short a long time ago.

I don't think I'd ever let it get long and then suddenly decide to chop it off to make it easier for me if it would upset her. We'd have to work into it.

I keep thinking, and have been for two years, ok, it's probably getting time for a cut...but it hasn't started looking thin or scraggly yet so I just leave it alone.

[limabean]

Once they get to an age where they want their hair a certain way, I go with whatever they want, but I don't feel that getting their hair cut as babies/toddlers is disrespecting their bodily integrity.

[pixiekisses]

When they have opinions about it, they decide.
Before that I don't really cut it much, but the ends has to be trimmed or it's almost child abuse to brush it.
And we have boys, they all have long hair too, cut into nice styles, they all look wonderful with long hair so I don't see the problem.

[Shiloh]

For me it's a lice issue, boys can have short short so they do. My dd I let keep it long. The boys must get a short short hair cut before school, after winter break, before summer camp. If its really short (#1) I am told you can't get lice. (I am lice phobic and the neurotoxins there I think are more harmful than short hair to their sense of style Lice goes around here quite often.

[Evergreen]

I have started a family tradition of they get a haircut at age three. I don't really know why I am so adamant about no hair cuts until three but it's what I have come up with .

Dylan had short hair but it was really curly and knotty. She hated having it brushed or washed. Much happier when she got her bob.

Ava will be three in October, her hair is much longer- almost to her butt and not as curly. It doesn't really knot up much but I'm growing her bangs out and think it will be easier for them to catch up with the rest of her hair if it is shorter. She also hates hair washes and brushes but is apprehensive about a hair cut. She says when she gets her cake she will cut her hair. She also says she will stop nursing when she gets her cake so we'll see.

[KweenKrunch]

My kids get regular haircuts to ensure that their hair looks neat and healthy. I probably would not allow my son to grow his hair long. I don't like the look, and I'm not sure too many active young boys would care for long hair appropriately anyway.

[lilbsmama]

ds is only 21 months right now, and i have gotten lots of comments about his hair already. It is not my place to cut his hair, IMO. I will cut it for him, let him cut it, or take him to have it done when he tells me he wants a haircut, never before then.
A few family members have mentioned that ds has to have his hair cut, and if they ever had time with ds alone, his hair would already be trimmed up. Uhm, duh, that's why you don't get to spend time alone with him....

[Alyantavid]

I'm not sure too many active young boys would care for long hair appropriately anyway.

Mine sure do. And aren't girls as active as boys? They seem to do it with long hair just fine.

[pixiekisses]

Originally Posted by Alyantavid

Mine sure do. And aren't girls as active as boys? They seem to do it with long hair just fine.

Yeah, all mine are active, boys and girls, and they are happy and look very nice with long hair. My girls have longer than the boys, but still. They have different styles all of them.
They decide themselves, as I said.

Originally Posted by Shiloh

For me it's a lice issue, boys can have short short so they do.

Uhm, so girls can't have short hair?

(And we've never had lice.)

[kirstenb]

Originally Posted by Evergreen

I have started a family tradition of they get a haircut at age three. I don't really know why I am so adamant about no hair cuts until three but it's what I have come up with .

With DS I waited until his 1st birthday and plan to do that with all future kids. I would have waited longer but the last few months I had to fight off DH with his clippers- I don't think I could have stopped him any longer than that! DS had a lot of hair as a baby so by one it was ready for a trim.