CLW thru the wonderful 4s

[andbabymakes4]

My dd is just about 4yr6mos, and I nurse her once a day at bedtime. Since I had my second baby almost 6mos ago, she asks to nurse a lot more, many times when I am nursing the baby she asks. Fact is, it is so hard for me to nurse her, it makes my skin crawl while I am doing it. It was very hard to nurse thru my pregnancy and I thought she'd wean due to pregnancy but nope, so here we are. I guess I just wanted to hear from some others who've been where I am....her latch is bad, her mouth feels so much different than the baby's and it's just really hard to let her nurse, even though she is really attached to it and I just don't see her weaning anytime soon.

[east carolina]

Not tandeming, but I'm still nursing my 4 year old, and very glad that I am. His latch isn't perfect each time, but he clearly loves it and needs it. I'm not even sure if I have much milk left. Most of the time when I ask him he says there's no more. Sure hasn't stopped him from weaning, though.

[Hokulele]

I don't know if I can help much but my story is very similar to yours. The one thing that has helped me is to re-think my approach to nursing the older child. I don't even know what specifically I mean by that but I just feel more relaxed about it now than I did say 6 months ago (and my baby is 13 months - maybe this just comes with time!?)

We nurse it once a day at bedtime too. But I wait until the baby is asleep (so I have no feelings of needing to reserve my milk for her etc) and DD1 is resting and calm in bed. Then I get into bed with her and snuggle her and let her nurse. When I am feeling tense about it I will limit it to a certain amount of time (she'd nurse for HOURS if I let her).

I keep nursing the two of them very separate. Nursing the baby is for food, comfort, everything and it can happen any time day or night. Nursing DD1 is a special treat at bedtime when we are alone together. She's pretty good now at seeing that as HER time and not asking to nurse when the baby nurses.

What you are feeling is very normal! I have heard/read of a lot of moms who feel this way about nursing their older child.

[Moonchild77]

Yes, I understand you.

ds1 is 3.5 y and ds2 is 9 mo.

It is JUST getting better, my feelings, while nursing.
However, he is asking TONS of nursing now, so it is a bit coming back, the skincrawlingfeelings...

ds1 nurses like 4, 5 times in 24 hours, I did nightwean on my demand, I could not handle that anymore.

They do nurse at the same time, if ds1 nurses, ds2 ALWAYS starts to crawl towards me and being silly and crying and being mad at me: like: HEY!! WHY OH WHY DID YOU NOT INVITE ME OVER!!!!?!??!??!?!?

sigh.....

ds1 is always asking to nurse when I am on the phone, ..... hate that... but he is a bit tense atm, I am not the best mom I can be, right now, being very angry most of the time and controlling, while I want to be a UPparent, following my heart and using Alfie Kohns words and advice I am just not in a good mood, most of the time, tired and such...

anyway, it did change, I now love to nurse ds1, but whenever the feeling of "NOOOO GET OFFF NOW!!!!"starts, I say: you can nurse, till this next song is over "and I sing a song.

He is okay with that, he does not want me counting.

xx