I agree with the pp who said to start simple. When I first started out, I was trying too many things and think I only made it harder on myself. I felt like a scientist conducting experiments trying to get the perfect wash routine. Although after all that, I do feel I have a great thing going now.
I have contact dermatitus or eczema when it comes to detergents, bleach, etc., and can't use a lot of products, even "natural" stuff sometimes. I started out using Biokleen free & clear detergent, but have switched to Country Save and like it better as it does seem to do what they claim, which is rinse out better than other detergents. IMO it's definitely better than the biokleen. I use it for all my wash, not just dipes.
For my dipe wash routine, I do a cold heavy (long) wash with 1-2 teaspoons of baking soda, 1-2 teaspoons of biokleen oxygen bleach, and 1 tablespoon of country save detergent. (I like putting everything in the first wash or rinse, because I've found it not only gets wash cleaner, but more importantly for our sensitive family, it rinses out better, so no residue.) Then a hot prewash, then hot/cold heavy wash with approx. 1/4 cup distilled white vinegar. The bs and ob are for poopies so now that dd is 14 mo. and has more solid and less frequent poos, sometimes I skip that and just use detergent alone. But I have a front loader, so the amounts would differ slightly, and that's also why the extra washes/rinses. I also wash about every 2-3 days, so about 24 to 30 dipes per load, plus my cloth wipes and changing pads, so a full load.
When I've washed in a toploader, I still put everything but the vinegar in the first cycle and either do a cold prewash or a simple cold wash cycle, then a hot/cold wash cycle w/ vinegar. (hint: I put the vinegar in the wash part, like most people would w/ bleach, because when I put it in the rinse, I could sometimes smell it faintly.) When dd was EBF, I used biokleen's bac-out on the poopies and threw them in. The bac-out has not caused any skin sensitivities for us. I also have mostly prefolds and some knickernappies pockets, plus fleece and microfiber wipes and doublers. I've yet to have a case of stinkies or buildup.
Oh, geez, that's a lot of info

I really hope I didn't just add to any of the overwhelmed feeling you've had. I sincerely hope this helps, not hurts
