At what age should children not go to a funeral? - Page 3

[Z1Z2]

This issue just came up for us a couple of weeks ago. DD was visiting my sister and niece for several days. My sister had planned to go to a funeral of a neighbor, and the girls would have had to go along. DH and I had no problem with DD going because she did not know the woman, and would therefore not be upset. As well, the neighbor was elderly, and DD knows that old people die. However, had the funeral been for a young person, I seriously doubt I would have allowed her to go. DD is highly imaginative, and it would not be a huge leap for her to think that if a young person can die, than SHE might die too. With less sensitive DS, it may be a totally different answer in the same scenario.

Paula

[Amys1st]

Originally Posted by Z1Z2

This issue just came up for us a couple of weeks ago. DD was visiting my sister and niece for several days. My sister had planned to go to a funeral of a neighbor, and the girls would have had to go along. DH and I had no problem with DD going because she did not know the woman, and would therefore not be upset. As well, the neighbor was elderly, and DD knows that old people die. However, had the funeral been for a young person, I seriously doubt I would have allowed her to go. DD is highly imaginative, and it would not be a huge leap for her to think that if a young person can die, than SHE might die too. With less sensitive DS, it may be a totally different answer in the same scenario.
Paula

This was our issue when our niece died. Also, she had a sudden tragic death due to a medical issue. The night she died, while tucking dd1 (7 yrd old) in, she said she could never take medicine again because she would die and didnt want to. She had nightmares that entire week plus with our rather large family mourning it was best to keep her where I did. If it was one of her grandparents it would have been different.

[GuildJenn]

Originally Posted by Amys1st

This was our issue when our niece died. Also, she had a sudden tragic death due to a medical issue. The night she died, while tucking dd1 (7 yrd old) in, she said she could never take medicine again because she would die and didnt want to. She had nightmares that entire week plus with our rather large family mourning it was best to keep her where I did. If it was one of her grandparents it would have been different.

I am not at all debating your choice.

But I do question whether it's the funeral, or the facts that would bother a child. The fact is that your niece did die, and kids do die, and that is scary. It's hard and scary, in fact, for everyone. I'm just not convinced for myself that the answer to that fear is to avoid the grieving rituals.