Do your kids SIT on furniture?

[peaceful_mama]

That they are SUPPOSED to *sit* on I mean?

Mine are 4 1/2 and 2. I don't remember when this started with the 4.5 year old, but he is *constantly* climbing on the back of my recliner and the couch. The child also seems INCAPABLE of planting his butt ON his chair to eat a meal!

His sister is starting to do the same stuff WRT climbing on the couch, etc.

I'm really sick of especially the mealtime bit.

*I* don't think it is unreasonable, especially at mealtime, to expect a child at almost 5 to be able to sit and eat his meal. He can leave when he is done. Just SIT and eat, no bouncing around, no getting up, no leaving the table for a drink etc etc etc.

Also the couch and chairs. They both can run, play, bike, climb, outside much of their day. *I* don't think anyone **needs** to be climbing the back of the couch.

I don't know when this started, I know I don't remember it in the old place. but that is almost a year ago.

Is it just normal that my almost 5 year old seems INCAPABLE of sitting through a meal? Or SITTING on the couch?

I think it's time I started doing **something**. Beyond just asking him to stop.

I also think I've been influenced by meeting some of DH's friends' kids a couple weeks ago who actually came, took the treat they were offered, sat near their mom quietly, then went off to play with all the kids in a bedroom.

A far cry from mine, who I honestly didn't take to one friend's house in particular because it was a second floor apt and DS just couldnt' NOT run. And they both beg and try to get more treats, which I think is EXTREMELY rude and can't stand. (Probably because I had another friend with children like that--you bring out a cake, those kids would eat the entire thing. You had a bunch of bananas on the counter, they would ask and then eat them all. )
I don't know that's one thing I *really* had drummed into my head as a kid, you don't beg for stuff when you go visit people.

I KNOW they are only 4.5 and 2 but I have seen what is possible....and now I want *that* when I take my kids somewhere. And I'm not asking for much, just the ability to take them to visit somebody for an hour maybe and not be thoroughly embarrassed because my kids have gotten into a bunch of stuff, won't keep their feet off the furniture, use "outside voices", interrupt constantly, and beg for food.

[Epona]

I don't have any advice. Mine behave as expected when out, but are allowed to climb around at home. But honestly, I'm not sure how we got there. It's something that just became normal for us. Hang in there!

[ssh]

Some kids have more trouble sitting still than others. Actually some people have more trouble being still than others. It's a temperament issue that can improve as their impulse control improves, but still a temperament issue. Some people are just high energy. My DD, 3.5 years old, does occasionally sit still briefly, not on a predictable basis, but it does happen sometimes. She eats meals with us, but sits then kneels in her chair, gets up and gets everyone napkins, sits back down or eats and stands by her plate.

As for climbing, we do let my DD climb on the back of one of our couches. She also climbs on my exercise bike. It's the kind that is a seat, a heavy metal frame and pedals. She can use it standing up while pedaling. Sometimes she just climbs on the seat or hangs from the metal bar on the front. I've discovered if we don't let her climb on some things she climbs on everything. It seems she just has to climb. When we go a park and she has more climbing opportunities she climbs less at home. Also, it seems like she just has to run sometimes.

[jillmamma]

Does standing on your head on the couch count? My 6.5 year old does that, and I don't like it either. We have hardwood and tile all through our house, so if they fell, they could get hurt. My little girl is almost 4 and does her fair share of climbing too. If they are getting too antsy, one thing that really helps is a trip to the playground with tons of climbing options or set up the bounce house in the backyard to let them get it out of their system. Or if it is a day with nasty weather and we can't do that, sometimes I pile a bunch of cushions in the corner of the living room and let them run and jump into that. Once a week gymnastics class has helped both of these kids a LOT too. As far as staying at the table, I have enforced that rule now for a long time since they were infants/toddlers, well, at least the part that all food stays at the table as mommy does not want to clean up crumbs/spills all over the house. Now that they are a bit older, one thing that gives them a visual cue is a timer that is set. They have that long to eat, and then the food is put away till the next meal/snack time. One other incentive that has helped my daughter stay at the table is that one time our dog stole the sandwich off her plate when she got up, so now I just remind her that the dog might get it if she gets up. She did NOT like that so that works pretty well.

Just think, life is definitely NOT boring with our active kids, right?

[rubidoux]

I can't address the begging for food at friends' houses, but my ds, who's almost 6, does that and it drives me crazy. I don't know how to get him to stop. Though maybe now that I've read your post, I'll have a talk with him on the way to playgroup wednesday (that's where he's really bad, so I usually try to bring yummy/healthy stuff to share with the other kids/moms to make up for it). For some reason other people's food is way more attractive than ours.

But as for meal times, I just plain don't require him to sit down for a meal. He does bettre when he's got a plate on the coffee table and can take a couple of bites, play for a few minutes, go back for more, etc. It's no skin off my back and saves me a lot of grief and fighting, I suspect. I try hard in all areas to not ask him to do things that cannot do or really doesn't want to do. Every once in a while there's something that he doesn't want to do that I have to force him to do (like take medicine or go to the doctor) and I don't feel guilty about that, but I wouldn't want to set up a life where he's forced to do lots of fairly arbitrary stuff. It just doesn't matter that much if he's sitting at the table or standing in the living room 15 feet away.