DS1 is 3. He is sweet, fun, challenging in terms of needing lots of interaction but so easy in very many ways...and his whining/screaming/demanding is driving us a bit nuts. It is almost invariably about wanting DH or I to do something EXACTLY the way he wants it done. We are very much struggling with when to let him have control and when we are giving him too much control especially in terms of control over us (I want him to feel control in his world but I don't want him to expect to be able to control others). I intellectually know that so much of this is developmentally appropriate... but seriously, a 3 yr old tyrant is not fun and I know he needs limits.
We have some success with telling him we can't understand him until he talks nicely, that we can't understand him when he's screaming (then again are we squelching his feelings by asking him to talk nicely when he's upset?). Sometimes it feels like too much talking when he's got some real emotions going on. But holding him or singing or anything more emotionally directed definitely does not meet the need. He won't show what he wants done (i.e. if the toy car needs to be exactly in x location he won't show it, just continue to describe what he wants done). Once he is satisfied by our action (rewinding to wherever we went off his perceived track and redoing) he is totally fine and ready to move onto the next thing.
I can't associate any specific change in behavior with any specific change in his life. It feels more like his developmental shifting than in reaction to anything.
Any ideas?
We have some success with telling him we can't understand him until he talks nicely, that we can't understand him when he's screaming (then again are we squelching his feelings by asking him to talk nicely when he's upset?). Sometimes it feels like too much talking when he's got some real emotions going on. But holding him or singing or anything more emotionally directed definitely does not meet the need. He won't show what he wants done (i.e. if the toy car needs to be exactly in x location he won't show it, just continue to describe what he wants done). Once he is satisfied by our action (rewinding to wherever we went off his perceived track and redoing) he is totally fine and ready to move onto the next thing.
I can't associate any specific change in behavior with any specific change in his life. It feels more like his developmental shifting than in reaction to anything.
Any ideas?
