Tidying up

[seawind]

At what age did you start encouraging and expecting your children to put away their toys at the end of the day? What did you find most helpful when they weren't inclined to help tidying up? TIA!

[Wild Lupine]

I started getting DD to help around the house as soon as she showed an interest (around 18 months). She would hand me some dishes from the dishwasher and I'd put them in cabinets, help me put her blocks back in the bag, etc... I kept it super short, super simple, and interesting for her (sometimes singing a song). At this age, cleaning up was just another game with the grownups.

Now at 2 1/2 I give her simple directions- put the big toys back in the toy box, put the books back on the shelves, etc... and as long as it is short, clear, and I am doing it with her, she will go along. I am hoping to develop a habit of cleaning up through this, so that when she's older, say 4 ish, she can do more of it on her own.

[rusha84]

I started encouraging my baby at the age of 2. At that age, Hanah was able to understand basic instruction. To get her interest I tell her stories. For example, when I asked her to put away her toys, I tell her stories of how Cinderella always helps around the house by tidying up her things. Or make her feel that what she's doing is not a chore at all but just part of play which makes it more interesting for my little one.

[298mom]

I just started with my 17-month-old. (She's super verbal, though, and understands a lot.) I put toys in tubs/boxes without lids, so I started out slowly: if she was playing with the blocks, when she was finished and moving on to something else, I'd ask her to put them back in the box and would help her. She's starting to understand "put it back on the shelf."
I'm too lazy to do this, but in the preschool I worked at, they had picture labels so that kids knew where everything went. It was really nice for cleanup, but it took a lot of work to make the labels, because we had to make new ones every time we rotated toys.

[Nikki74]

Both of my children started tidying up at around a year old. It was all part of the game for them, and they enjoyed throwing the toys into the toy box. For them, it was just a matter of saying, 'put the toys in the box', and when they did, I'd say 'and another one', 'and another one', ad nauseum, lol. It helps that my oldest is almost three, and my youngest who is 13 months likes to copy everything he does. But we try to make it lighthearted, and I 'help' by putting toys in a pile next to the box for them, so that the whole process doesn't drag out for ages, and become something they hate to do.
I'm happy for them to start tidying as soon as they are physically able to do so, and advanced enough to understand what I want them to do, which for both of them was just before one year old...I don't want to have to suddenly introduce it as a boring chore when they are older, and try and get them to accept that though mummy used to pick up after them, they now have to do it themselves. No, for me it's much better that they don't get used to me doing everything for them, so then it's not an 'extra' chore, but rather something they just do, that they have always done.
And at such a young age they love to help and feel important (mine do anyway), and to do the same things as mummy...I just want to make the most of it and get them into the habit while they still *want* to do these things. The same goes for other things too...putting the dishwasher on, unloading the dishwasher (my 3 old), *helping* with the laundry, the cooking etc. They both like to sweep the floor with me, or clean up spilt drinks etc with me. It's definitely very cute...

[jillmamma]

Now that they are a bit bigger, the biggest motivation to keep putting stuff away (I break it down into smaller tasks too, so it should not be too overwhelming) is to remind them that if mommy has to put this stuff away, it will STAY put away for awhile. They don't like that idea, so it usually gets them going.

[One_Girl]

I have expected dd to help with clean up at the end of the day since she was three. I found it worked best to make it part of a routine that we did each night before book reading, it helped to tell her what was coming next after book reading. When she didn't help I would ask for her help but I wouldn't push or make a big deal out of it if she refused. Now that she is six she pretty much cleans up on her own. It was a really gradual shift and I don't remember when it happened really but it did. I think helped me to stay calm by just going with the flow and cleaning up when things got to cluttered without letting myself feel angry about what dd was or wasn't doing.

[MandyB]

With all three of my kids, we started this around the time they could walk and actually go put their toys away themselves. Right now our playroom is very organized with each type of toy (princess stuff, legos, trucks, etc) in it's own clear bin. The kids know that they can only bring out one bin at a time and it must be cleaned up before another one is brought out. Of course, it doesn't ALWAYS work because a lot of the time they want to play with stuff in two bins together at the same time, but for the most part, it makes clean up much easier.

The older they get, the harder it is to get them to clean up though. (shouldn't it be the opposite???) My youngest is the most eager to help out and clean up (still thinks it's fun), my middle daughter is eager to help sometimes, and my oldest has figured out that cleaning up isn't really that fun.

[ann_of_loxley]

I am a firm believer in modeling (and once they are a bit older, you can explain the logic to them if you feel you have to - you know, we tidy so the house stays looking nice, so no one trips over a toy and hurts themselves, etc). I am always cleaning and putting away, etc. (and I am perhaps a bit OCD! lol) - No - I am not the maid and never once have I felt that way. When I want something done, I realise its me that wants it done. My DS is neither my slave. I can ask for help but at the end of the day, its still me that wants it done - so if there is just me to do it, then thats how it is. Has anyone ever asked you to do something that you don't want to do, something that really has nothing to do with you or your desires...you think 'do it yourself!'. I feel that if we are always nagging our children to do something that we want done, then this is how they can feel. Sometimes we feel helpful - and sometimes we don't (you can also model being helpful to your child by helping out other people you are around!). At the end of the day, if it were to get so out of hand (and this has yet to even get close in our house, it has never got to this point or even close) - it can only result in a natural concequence = that being a very tired mummy (what child wants that? lol).
I feel I am keeping the peace and hormony in our house by avoiding coercion, punishments, rewards, etc - I am acheiving my goals and what I want done by doing it and teaching my child to be a 'go getter' by modeling such behaviour to him. If you want something done - do it. Don't try and rope someone else in to do it for you. Ask for help if you feel you want it or need it but sometimes help is not always there or available and we can survive this as well!
All of this surely has made for a very neat and tidy child (and not once have I ever used threats, coercion, punishments, or rewards -and I never plan to!)!

[sapphire_chan]

Haven't yet, but in looking at what people do, it seems like having a couple of clean-up times a day works better than cleaning up once.