I definitely belong here--this is the kind of thread that keeps me sane.
I don't even want to get into the long string of unexpected things that landed us in this stupid situation, but suffice it to say I've been varying states of broke for the last 10 years (i.e. my whole adult life
). I used to be able to cope with it better, emotionally. Lately I just don't have the mental fortitude anymore.
DH has health problems that we don't fully understand, cause we haven't had insurance for long enough to get to the bottom of them. He had brain surgery when he was 17, and he's been diagnosed with ADHD, mild epilepsy, and hearing issues; all apparently seperate problems. Lately, it's becoming clear that he'll probably need surgery again in the relatively near future, and in the meantime, his ability to get a job is even more compromised. He's been out of work since last Winter, when the economy started tanking (he was selling cars--we feel your pain, FondestBianca!).
At first it was supposed to be a temp. thing--he needed a break from the craziness, and I was going to work full-time for awhile while he focused on school and the kids. I couldn't find a full-time job, only a part-time one. Then we got another surprise
We'd been living in my husband's stepdad's house, but he wanted to rent it out for profit, so we had to find another place. We somehow got approved for a smallish home loan (
), but after 6 lost contracts in 3 months, we were forced to realize that the investors had the upper hand and there was no way we'd be able to contract on a house in our price range w/o some cash buyer snapping it out from under us
: So we're renting a small apartment, which my parents are having to pay the rent on at the moment
I have no idea how I'm supposed to make ends meet every month. I really believe that it makes you crazy to constantly have to worry about your basic needs being met. I've gone from being angry at my DH to being scared for him, as it wasn't initially clear why he had problems getting/keeping decent work. I've been poor before, but I've never faced the prospect of having to work full-time--at any job that will take me--with a newborn at home. I don't need to buy a lot of baby stuff--but I have no clue how I'm supposed to afford any of it.
The worst was moving into this apartment--I had to freecycle my cats. I want to kick myself every time I think of it. The fact that we could be so low, so down-and-out, to have to bail on our pets...it's just despicable. Our options were: apartment that allowed pets with a massive deposit and monthly fee but no washer/dryer hookups, or apartment with washer/dryer hookups but no pets allowed. We cloth diaper (again, out of financial necessity!), so the w/d hookups were essential. Plus, we couldn't have afforded the pet deposit anyway. It just makes me feel like the scum of the Earth, yk?
Right now, we're awaiting a letter from Social Security for my dh, they're gonna "evaluate a disability claim" by sending him to a dr, which hopefully will get the ball rolling in some direction. Perhaps they'll put him on Medicaid as a result of that and we can start figuring out WTH is going on w/his health.
So, yeah, enough about me and my sad story...
Thanks for letting me vent. I totally understand not being able to really talk about some of these things IRL. Money problems of this magnitude affect every aspect of your life, your thoughts, etc. I almost wonder who I'd be if my finances "allowed me"....