I parked in the "Expectant Mothers" space at Babies R' Us - Page 3

[eclipse]

Originally Posted by lauren

It is my sense that the OP wanted to share a lighthearted gesture that made her feel included in the community of the expectant. Please refrain from posting in ways which are "disrespectful, defamatory, adversarial, baiting, harassing, offensive, insultingly sarcastic or otherwise improper manner, toward a member or other individual, including casting of suspicion upon a person, invasion of privacy, humiliation, demeaning criticism, name-calling, personal attack or in any way which violates the law." Remember to focus on the spirit of the post and to stay on topic (example, this thread is not about the validity of handicapped parking spaces).

Thanks everyone!!

Sorry!

back to the regularly scheduled thread - OP, you're gonna be a mom! :::

[holyhelianthus]

Originally Posted by eclipse

But would you want to legally require that people give up their seats or help a pregnant person with their groceries? Fine them if they don't? In any case - yes, pregnancy brings about drastic physical changes, most of which do not make it particularly hard to walk across a parking lot.

No more than I think someone should be fined for not giving up their bus seat to someone disabled. However I never said we should bring it to that I did however say that certain places (in this case parking spaces) should be reserved for those with special needs. And I am sorry but I have to disagree. The extra weight alone can make it very difficult to walk across a parking lot. We are all warned that at a certain point we will not be able to breath fully as one big example. Pair that with some drastic weather conditions as well.

[mamazee]

deleted - hadn't read whole thread.

[mamabearsoblessed]

donnng my flame`resistant clothing here~ I always figured the 'new mom' parking spaces seemed for mom's carrying their newborn around in a bucket, from car to carriage top~ back to car, lugging, lugging, lugging....
catch my snark?

but seriously, I've never had sciatica pain or other pain in my pgs~ my sympathies to those with difficult, painful pgs

A huge CONGRATULATIONS TO THE OP: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Whistler]

I completely understand the need to do something tangible now and then to "feel expecting". It's really rough to be expecting a baby and there is so little acknowledgement from anyone around you. And since you were sensitive to the number of other cars in the lot, I see no problem at all!

[honey-lilac]

Originally Posted by Whistler

I completely understand the need to do something tangible now and then to "feel expecting". It's really rough to be expecting a baby and there is so little acknowledgement from anyone around you. And since you were sensitive to the number of other cars in the lot, I see no problem at all!

Well said!

[polishprinsezz]

i am sure you did not intentually take the spot to inconvenience someone or to to be rude. i am sure you just felt the excitement to be "expecting" too. i do hope you do take it into consideration the next time that an expecting woman may actually need that spot. those parking spots go by the honor system. i know you would want a spot to be available for the woman who is carrying your child.

[sbrinton]

I was on bed rest throughout my last pregnancy and I did have a disabled parking spot. I think moms who are in severe pain or who need to limit their activity for one reason or another should just ask their doctors for a temporary handicap permit. My perinatologist gave me one that I used during the pregnancy and for the first month afterward (I was extremely weak after basically 7 months on bedrest).

So I really, really needed those disabled parking spots (along with the wheelchairs and scooters many stores provide). I have a very big problem with non-disabled people using those spots.

But the expecting mom spots? I think that's mostly for marketing purposes. If you are expecting a baby biologically or not, I don't think it's wrong to park in those spots. But do consider others in doing this. If you feel fine and the parking lot is full and you could physically walk a long way, maybe leave the spot for someone else?

[crl]

Originally Posted by Whistler

I completely understand the need to do something tangible now and then to "feel expecting". It's really rough to be expecting a baby and there is so little acknowledgement from anyone around you. And since you were sensitive to the number of other cars in the lot, I see no problem at all!

I agree. I remember seeing those spaces when we were waiting to adopt DS and longing to park in one. I never did, but it's hard when you don't have the tangible pregnancy things going on and then you feel like you can't participate in the small niceties either. . . .

Catherine

[Sierra]

First of all, OP CONGRATULATIONS :! What a blessing! And from one adoptive mom to another, I totally get how parking in that spot was a way to honor your excitement and claim your new role!

For those who have been debating, FWIW, no matter how excited I was when I was "paper pregnant," I never would have parked in the "expectant mom" parking spots. I always hoped that some hugely *uncomfortable* pregnant mom would come and use it. That said...

Originally Posted by sbrinton

I was on bed rest throughout my last pregnancy and I did have a disabled parking spot. I think moms who are in severe pain or who need to limit their activity for one reason or another should just ask their doctors for a temporary handicap permit. My perinatologist gave me one that I used during the pregnancy and for the first month afterward (I was extremely weak after basically 7 months on bedrest).

I agree with this. I think part of it is because I really think that our society can only have a holistic, healthy, natural approach to pregnancy and birth when we stop doing things that reinforce the view that it is a medical condition.

(And walking in pregnancy is a really good thing in a pregnancy without medical complications!)

Yes, being hugely pregnant and carrying all that weight is hard on the body, but so is being obese and you don't really see reserved spots for obese folks either. Obese folks who have medical complications and limited mobility because of their "condition" seek handicap parking stickers. Pregnant women who likewise have medical complications and thus limited mobility because of being pregnant should also seek a temporary handicap parking sticker.

IMO, in an ideal world, everyone who didn't really "need" a parking spot by the front entry of a building would park further away as a courtesy for others. Getting out of our cars and walking a bit would be good for our bodies anyway.

Then, those with limited mobility-- both who qualify for a handicap parking sticker and those who don't-- as well as parents with small children, and uncomfortably pregnant women, and tired elderly folks, and folks who need to run in to use the bathroom LOL, etc. would use the spots closer to the building. I don't think the reserved parking signs bring us any closer to any kind of ideal whatsoever, or are a real bridge between "current situation" and "ideal situation."

I hardly ever see those spots being used to accomodate those pregnant moms with special needs or even those really huge pregnant moms...I often see women with "little bumps" who are practically skipping their way into Babies R Us using them, which says to me that those spots are about a status or recognition a notable amount of the time.

Everybody else just resents the spots LOL.

So I really, really needed those disabled parking spots (along with the wheelchairs and scooters many stores provide). I have a very big problem with non-disabled people using those spots.

And yeah, for me that is a HUGE issue.


But what I'd like to say is that I'd like to see fewer "expectant mother" parking spots, and more "parent with small children" spots.

And the companies that use the "parent with small children" signs, I'd like to see use them effectively. Closer to the entry is good, but if the spot is miles from the "return cart" corral, the spot is not a practical one. IMO, the spot should be on either side of the "return cart" corral closest to the store (which IS hopefully pretty close). It's hard managing a little flock on the way out of the store, but just as hard to have to leave a crying baby or something and run halfway across the lot to the nearest cart corral.

[Laurel]

I would never actually park in one of those spots, but I have to say as a 3rd time expectant adoptive mom, I think about it every single time I see one for the same reasons others have mentioned. The longing for someone on the outside to validate my expectancy is HUGE, and yeah, I am tempted to do it just to make a statement. (Once again, I never would actually do it.)

It kind of cracks me up talking about this in relation to Babies R' Us because I think with that particular store, the whole entire parking lot ought to be labelled "expectant mothers' parking". There's no way a couple of stalls could possibly serve the sheer numbers of very pregnant women I see every time I go there.

It's actually interesting to see the difference in reactions I get walking into a baby store vs. someone who is physically pregnant. There have been times when I've been looking for something specific, like a carseat, but am completely ignored by salespeople, even though I am obviously spending a lot of time in whatever section of the store I'm in. But someone pregnant walks in and gets immediately fawned over by the staff. It's assumed because of the way I look that I'm not an expectant mother, even though I very much am one. It's that type of stuff that makes me want to park in the special parking stall. It may sound like frivolous whining, but it is not. The need to be welcomed into the circle of motherhood is a real need, especially when you are dealing with a situation that by it's very nature is tenuous and "iffy".

[Masel]

Now I wish I had used the expectant mother space when we were waiting for DD to be born. I wasn't pregnant but I could hardly walk and eventually had surgery to fix my feet. (I should have, in retrospect, have asked for a handicaped placard.) Babies-r-us wasn't anywhere near our house so it wasn't like I went often. It was one of those days like the OP described. Would have been cool.

Newborn parents parking would have been useful too since DH had to have his appendix out the day we brought DD home from the hospital.

Now that I am preggers I've not seen one sign!

[readytobedone]

those signs always kind of irk me because they suggest that pregnancy is some kind of disability, which i think is part and parcel of the medicalization of pregnancy and birth...but that's neither here nor there.

in my worldview, you are fine parking in the spot if you meet the criteria. IMO you can't really think of it in terms of who needs it most, because that's impossible to determine. anyway, someone could always need it more.

so OP, i think it's fine and congrats! :

[texmati]

holy cow! I'm surprised at this thread. OP, congratulations, congratulations, congratulations on expecting a baby!

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by magstphil

How so? How would it make sense to have these spots closer to the entrance if only for show? I don't think these spots are about status or show and I hope someday in the near future they will have the same legality surrounding them as the traditional handicap ones.

So that people with difficulty walking into the store can have yet another errand they have to run? If people have to get a special permit anyway, why not just get apply for a temporary regular handicap permit? Those spots are available everywhere.

[Talula Fairie]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

So that people with difficulty walking into the store can have yet another errand they have to run? If people have to get a special permit anyway, why not just get apply for a temporary regular handicap permit? Those spots are available everywhere.

Not all doctors are willing to hand those out, even if you have severe SPD. Some OBs are like "well that's life, you're pregnant, get over it."

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by Laurel

It's actually interesting to see the difference in reactions I get walking into a baby store vs. someone who is physically pregnant. There have been times when I've been looking for something specific, like a carseat, but am completely ignored by salespeople, even though I am obviously spending a lot of time in whatever section of the store I'm in. But someone pregnant walks in and gets immediately fawned over by the staff.

: you don't have the hormones that encourage spending lots of money.

OP--congratulations!!!

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by Talula Fairie

Not all doctors are willing to hand those out, even if you have severe SPD. Some OBs are like "well that's life, you're pregnant, get over it."

And I bet they wouldn't give the documentation for the expectant mothers spots either if those ended up regulated by law.

[TCMoulton]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

So that people with difficulty walking into the store can have yet another errand they have to run? If people have to get a special permit anyway, why not just get apply for a temporary regular handicap permit? Those spots are available everywhere.

There are many women who choose midwives for their prenatal care - if they are not licensed by the state I doubt that they would be able to request a handicap temporary permit for their clients.

Also, as I found out with my 2 pregnancies, there are many days where back pain can be excruciating yet disappear the next day, not something that would qualify as needing a handicap permit but debilitating nonetheless - errands cannot always wait a day and a closer than average spot made shopping just a bit easier.

[inkslinger]

Originally Posted by rainyday

Yes. This. Except I can't understand why you did it - especially when you acknowledge that pregnancy can take a physical toll on someone and that's probably why stores sometimes have these spots.

As someone who has been nine and a half months pregnant with a pubic symphasis separation, I can tell you that having to walk can be agonizing for someone who's very pregnant. It was uncomfortable before my pubic symphasis split, but after it did, it was agonizing. And sometimes I still had to do it because I needed things before the baby came. When I needed those spots, I REALLY appreciated them.

Come on. There were two cars in the lot, and you couldn't be bothered to park in a different spot? I understand you're expecting a child too, but if you know those spots are really meant for women who really need them, then why use them? I have the exact same reaction, by the way, to someone who is pregnant but feels fine and can walk just fine without any problems.

ITA with this. I also had Pubis Symphasis Dysfunction and walking any distance was extremely painful.