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*~*'~* August Dating Thread *~*'~* Gettin' our feet wet and doin' the 2 step! *~*'~* - Page 5

post #81 of 231
Honestly, I'd assume he's flaked, but like Holly said it's a good reason to call him. What a UAV.
post #82 of 231
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflymom View Post

Or should I just write him off as a flake who has dropped me, and make my plans assuming he's no longer involved...? :
Personally, I would plan as though he is no longer involved.

What a putz! : Sorry, Butterflymom.
post #83 of 231
Thread Starter 
I think it's more important to me to hang on to some dignity and leave it be, if he is behaving this way, rather than having 'a good reason/excuse' to call him, like an eager little puppy. If he needs nothing from me/has nothing to say to me, then the sentiment is certainly mutual and I'll just plan my sunday as if our plans are off. It just feels a little weird because he really did not seem, these last 4 weeks, like the sort of person who would flake out and ditch me like this, at all. So..... I think there's more to this story than meets the eye, but .......if there isn't a darned good reason to have fallen silent last night and all today, then I think I don't care about the reasons and details.... I just want out.

It's now friday evening, 5 days since he's called, and he is wherever he's gonna be for the night (most likely has left work a couple of hours ago, and driven to his home town to hang out with his friends there, and has already commenced his friday night). He could have sent word to me about our plans, per the question I had posed to him 27 hours ago, at any point last night or all day today or this evening and he has failed to do so. Dealbreaker.
post #84 of 231
I'm sorry, Butterflymom.
post #85 of 231
Yes I would make plans without him in the picture for Sunday.....

I am not saying to write him off completely but I would plan w/o him and be like it's his lost if he tries to connect last minute.....
post #86 of 231
Mind you, when I said a good reason to call him, I wasn't referring to a friendly little chat. I was thinking more along the lines of "Hey, UAV-boy, what's up with Sunday? You never answered my question."

But ignoring him and going on with your plans is probably a lot more dignified.

Sheesh. How are so many men flakes? I can dig needing/wanting different levels of communication, but if you make plans with someone, cancel, don't just go silent. It's a matter of honor.
post #87 of 231
Thread Starter 
He called. Like everything is 'on' and totally blowing past the issue of 5 days no phone call and 30 hours no response to my text message.

I'm on the phone with him now. He's chattering and I'm just 'uh-huh'-ing him and being very blase.

I'm just not sure what to think or do.
post #88 of 231
He actually may not be flaking ladies just not communicating well..... not saying it's okay but he has not yet flaked. He is single, with no kids or reason to make advance plans and check and balance all those details in advance I know many childless friends who can touch base mere moments or hours ahead and go from there.

I am not saying Butterflymom should not make plans herself just saying let's not throw him under the bus for flaking when he has not done that yet.... the issue I still see at hand is the lack of communication which Butterflymom is unhappy with.
post #89 of 231
Thread Starter 
So, we talked for more than an hour on the phone, and the ice eventually cooled off my jets, and I sort of enjoyed the conversation. He seemed very upbeat and even mentioned directly, "Yeah I was listening to a cheesey romantic latin song and thought of you and realized it had been awhile since we talked, so I called!" and I was kind of like, "Yeah, it's been 5 days since we talked, that's true..." in a neutral way. But didn't really say anything more about how uncool it was for him to wait 5 days to call.

Am I Gigi from "He's Just Not That Into You"? I don't wanna be! I just thought that things had heated up to a really fun, sweet, connected place and to suddenly have it dry up felt..... odd. Twilight-zone-y. 4 weeks good and then nearly one week very 'off' is just..... I dunno. I don't know what to think.
post #90 of 231
Just take it one day at a time and enjoy the ride. I do think this 5 days showed you that a certain level of communication or lack there of (even from the beginning) can be a deal breaker for you.... Since it has had such an impact on your mood this week I think you should in a lighthearted but direct manner express your need for better / more communication.
post #91 of 231
Holy broomsticks batman.


The dating thread is already on page 5! I moved on the 1st weekend of the month and don't have internet at the new place yet -- just skimmed things over, but haven't got time to really respond to everyone.

Butterfly, I'm glad he called.
post #92 of 231
Thread Starter 
thanks, sugarmoon. I know I've kind me monopolized the dating thread for several days. i'm seeing the G.A. soon, in two hours, and I hope things click back into 'fun' and 'in sync' and diggin on each other and things go well. he's coming to a huge thirtheti birthday I'm throwing in nineteen days (you are all welcome). and the effort he puts into my special day will be a chance for him to make things feel special or...casual between us. In my mind, I want to know by then if I'6 into things with him or done with the hassle of two cities. There will be other men at this party of mine.
post #93 of 231
Good luck Butterflymom sometimes clarity either way is better than the unknown. Regardless enjoy this time with him and update us when he departs for work.
post #94 of 231
Geez, this thread goes fast!

I had 3 dates last week. Different guys. All interesting and nice. So well see. But things are looking up a bit
post #95 of 231
Quote:
Originally Posted by BugMacGee View Post
Geez, this thread goes fast!

I had 3 dates last week. Different guys. All interesting and nice. So well see. But things are looking up a bit
Wow what a busy week BugMacGee please share more details!!!
post #96 of 231
Hi, just joining this thread. I've been single for almost a year, and now looking for dates again. I've been emailing a guy I went to high school with, and it looks like it might be going somewhere. He was a scrawny skate punk back then (like me, back then), and now he's super hot! When I saw him last year, I was like, OMG, he grew a bunch of muscles! He practices martial arts, yoga, and Taoism, and he works at Whole Foods. : Might be kind of a playa', not sure, but that's OK with me. I'm just gonna go with the flow and have fun with my newfound (and hard fought-for) independence and bright outlook on life. He lives like 3 to 4 hours from me, but he is coming up next month to visit nearby friends and we are going to get together while he's here. :

Also, on a somewhat unrelated note... I've noticed something in myself. It's definitely not arrogance or haught, but when young men check me out (which is happening a lot lately ) I feel something new, like I'm stronger than them? Like they are not strong enough to get this? It's weird, but I've been through a hell of a lot of trials in my life, and I'm a Queen now, like a capital Q Queen, and it's all on my mind lately (all the grindstones of trial that have equipped me with swords and sheilds and armor and battle axes and banners in my soul), and a Banished Warrior Queen does not just date anybody with roving eyes.

post #97 of 231
That's a great outlook to have! Honestly, I'm still battling insecurity (mah sweetie's significantly older & more successful than I). But man, the masculine interest sure does make me feel good. I was starting to feel good all on my own, but there was still that one little part...does that make sense? (Part of it is having been left for another woman; that deals a hell of a blow to your pride.) I am starting to feel stronger though.

Have fun with your playa. Not every relationship has to last, right?
post #98 of 231
Queen of the pride: Welcome. I recognize that feeling. When I first went outthere dating again I had a lot of that confidence. Its a great feeling - and - it attracts men like flies

Butterflymom: Good luck with your guy About the birthday - men really dont put as much meaning into birthdays as women do. Dont be too hard on him if he fails to book a balloontrip or rent a limo ;-) Im really excited to see where this is going.
Wish I had money to go to Helsinki and attend your birthday. But oh well. I lost my job and our financial situation is pretty hopeless right now so...
post #99 of 231
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenOfThePride View Post
Hi, just joining this thread. I've been single for almost a year, and now looking for dates again. .........

I'm a Queen now, like a capital Q Queen, and it's all on my mind lately (all the grindstones of trial that have equipped me with swords and sheilds and armor and battle axes and banners in my soul), and a Banished Warrior Queen does not just date anybody with roving eyes.


And YES! : I feel like that, a lot. I probably come off as slightly full of myself, but in an empowered, admirable way, I think/hope. People just think I'm full of such confidence and pizzaz and I love making that impression. I've certainly been through hell and back before and during my marriage, and through today, but keeping strong and persevering is helping me to be someone that my kids will admire someday, I pray.



The G.A. came and we had a great time. But you know, I'm not gonna die if it all fizzles apart. I might not even care. He is great, and funny, and we have fun, and dance amazingly well, but he's not exactly one in five million (pop. size of this country) and I think I will replace him easily if he doesn't grow into the Ice Scraper of MY DREAMS.
post #100 of 231
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveOhm View Post
Wow what a busy week BugMacGee please share more details!!!
: Spill it, BugMacGee!
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