Vancouverish Tribe - August is hot Hot HOT! - Page 3

[tiffani]

welcome LuizaG!! How are you liking Canada so far? I have always wanted to go to Brazil...someday!!

just sitting here sipping my nursing mama's tea ,going to watch the documentary 'war dance' about children in war in Uganda while I pump... can I just say I seriously hate pumping? My hat goes off to mamas who pump for a super long time -- it's the pumping more than anything else that may do me in with this whole re-lactation thing, though I guess you get a knack for it??? hopefully??? once I'm getting more milk it will probably feel more worthwhile, as well... also found the herbal tincture that I needed, so that will help, hopefully...

we're all sick AGAIN!!!! bought some vitamin C, omegas, and multi's for the kids, and we'll have to up the handwashing, I'm so tired of this!! we had a healthy stretch there for a few weeks, but... sigh... a friend of mine knows a family where the mama just died of swine flu here recently, and dex has a friend (in a weekly capoeira class) who had it (though it was a fairly minor case, from the sounds of it), so I'm a little more paranoid about this illness than I have been all winter.

ok, I guess I've procrastinated pumping long enough!

[artparent]

tiffani, how awful! i keep hearing about how toxic the anti-flu meds are. we got sick, not often, but quite a lot worse than usual, in europe, but my partner never got it..i think it was just meeting european bugs for the first time

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[dawncayden]

Is this just a phase that Cayden (3.5 years) seems to think I hate him? : I hope this isn't something that is going to last...

Apparently I'm just like the witch in fairy tales, partly because of my long dark hair but also because I'm mean.

I feel like in the last month I've been saying no a lot, or in so many words. He's just been trying my patience and forgetting certain rules of our house (like no jumping 2 inches from the babies head or climbing the shelves)

Its hard to go from being an attached mama/baby duo to him not wanting any affection whatsoever and thinking I'm the enemy...

I just hope this a passing phase

This is normal right? Did your LO's go through a NO KISSING, NO HUGGING phase too?

[tiffani]

Originally Posted by artparent

tiffani, how awful! i keep hearing about how toxic the anti-flu meds are.

that's interesting that you mention that, because the boy in dex's capoeira class took tamiflu and he said it upset his stomach so much he stopped taking it. It wouldn't occur to me to take tamiflu, but hearing that sort of solidified that for me!

today dex is pukey. every illness goes to his puke button. I feel bad for the kid, but it's so nice and quiet around here today with both kids sick.

I have an appointment today to go get the yellow fever vaccine at the travel doc. I really wish I didn't have to do it, but it is a requirement for Uganda, and the last thing I need is to be held in quarantine on our return!!! I seriously feel ill thinking about that crap going into my bloodstream... I know it's fine, but just wish I could go without.

[tiffani]

oh, and dawn, dexter often says we hate him, everyone hates him, etc. it's really sad, and no, I wouldn't say it's a stage with him, I think he really struggles with that emotion when he's sad. He KNOWS it's not true, but it feels true to him when he gets upset over certain things, or especially when I get upset with him. it's hard. it may be a phase for cayden, though. dex is the opposite, though, with hugs, he seems to really need to be held when he's feeling like that, and he's generally a really touchy feely kid, but I think it's pretty common for kids to reject affection when they're mad at you, or are hurt by you -- lucy certainly does, but she usually says "I hate you" not "you hate me" -- her way is much easier to deal with, quite frankly . poor babies, I feel so sad when dex gets really sad... hang in there,

[dawncayden]

Well he has a No Hugs or Kisses rule 95% of the time, the other 5% is when he's gotten physically hurt and needs a kiss on his ouch spot.

Sometimes he'll volunteer affection, but I haven't been aloud to kiss him without him being hurt for months now *sigh*

hmmm, I thought this was normal toddler stuff....

[Storm Bride]

Dawn...dd1 tends to not want to hug and kiss much, but she doesn't do the "I hate you" or "you hate me" or whatever much. DS2? Ugh. He very occasionally claims that I hate him, or dh hates him or whatever. He usually says he hates us. He won't hug or kiss us or whatever, unless we get mad at him (WAY too often). Then, he throws his arms around our necks and tries to kiss us. It makes me feel like an ogre, and it's really hard to take.

[dawncayden]

Oh, and it probably sounds like I'm really mad about this but I'm not. I guess I've gotten used to it (its been happening for well over a year) It makes my mom really sad that Cayden will never kiss or hug her and she can't kiss or hug him. He sees her once a week.

I guess I should read 'Protecting the Gift' because I know a lot of my feelings of not forcing a child to give affection are mentioned in there and I need to feel validated when my mom is comparing how 'her own grandson won't give her a hug but nephew will do it everytime!'

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by dawncayden

Oh, and it probably sounds like I'm really mad about this but I'm not. I guess I've gotten used to it (its been happening for well over a year) It makes my mom really sad that Cayden will never kiss or hug her and she can't kiss or hug him. He sees her once a week.

I guess I should read 'Protecting the Gift' because I know a lot of my feelings of not forcing a child to give affection are mentioned in there and I need to feel validated when my mom is comparing how 'her own grandson won't give her a hug but nephew will do it everytime!'

If it helps any, my grandmother forced me to hug and kiss my grandfather (really extreme, because she also knew he was molesting me) and I never, ever forgave her for it. I actually had some affection for him - but none for her...none at all. He was brain damaged, literally, but even as a child, I didn't feel she had any excuse for what she did.

[tiffani]

freely giving affection is such a personality thing -- I'm not a super huggy person, and certainly wasn't as a kid, so I don't force lucy to do it either, as she tends to be like me in that way. dex, on the other hand, IS really huggy and kissy, and gives them out freely to family and close friends. I do encourage lucy to do it with people she feels comfortable with (grandparents, one close family friend) because it's kind of like a little wall that feels better once it's down. It's almost like a skill that has to be learned with her and I -- same with admitting we're wrong and apologizing . but I always say it sort of quietly to her "do you want to give gma a hug?" so she doesn't get embarrassed if she doesn't feel like it. she usually does, though, but I guess that's because I only ever ask with people I know she WANTS to hug, but just feels kind of reserved about it, yk?

dawn, I think it is totally normal toddler stuff, but also indicative of his personality a little, yk? it may or may not go away entirely, but he'll learn to not be so in your face about it I'm sure.

[Pealette]

Tiffani,

If you haven't got your shot yet, would it be possible to get your hands on an homeopathic remedy? I think there are ones that help a body get through vaccinations. I don't know the exact ins and outs but may be worth a shot? Even a day or two after would probably help, I imagine stuff would float around in your body for a long time.

Good luck with pumping!! It's what did me in. Just not possible with a 6 year old whose life had just turned upside and a new 3 year old and a new 1 year old. I was getting good amounts of milk and Skye had straight breastmilk for 2 weeks plus before while getting off the formula. But alas, it was not meant to be. It really was taking time away from "being with" the children when that's what they needed in those early months and there's no way with her that she would even go near my breast.

We are all doing quite well. The kids are growing and just looking so healthy and happy. We met the birth parents last week to work out an openness agreement. It was both really heavy, nervewracking, and totally amazing. We take the family for our first visit in September. The last 6 months have both seemed like forever and like they just zoomed by.

[tiffani]

Janet, thanks so much for posting! good to hear you are all doing well, and peaceful good wishes for your birthfamily visit.

I ended up not getting the shot today, funnily enough, they had run out. I was in the bathroom realizing that I was not feeling all that well (after my hour long discussion with the travel doctor about every possible malady that could come my way in Uganda) and contemplating waiting on actually getting the shot until I was feeling better. when I came out she asked me to come in next week, as they had run out of yellow fever vax. so that was actually a happy coincidence... I should check out homeopathic remedy to go with it, as I do feel like it would be wise to get it, even though I don't think I'll run up against bureaucratic issues not having it, but since it's often fatal and quite prevalent there, it's probably best to have it...

erica, if you're around (or anyone else with similar experience) what malaria med did you take?

[artparent]

pealette! just wondering aloud about you, talking with cedarmama today. glad to hear things are well x

tiffani, i've heard the same about homeopathics, there are some to help with the effects after...sometimes a long time after, but you'd need to do some research. definitely best to take these things when you're feeling strong. eat well, sleep well, good luck!

dawn, any of the issues prior to have a sibling are necessarily going to be exacerbated by having one! it will take some time for you two to work out the new state of your attachment, and for to not be as tired, and for him to develop a relationship with his brother, etc, etc. find other ways to stay close, see if you can get a date alone with him maybe doing something physical that doesn't look like affection - wrestling, pillowfights, or maybe swimming where you have to hold him up, reading on your lap, that kind of thing. i know little boys who won't hug my huggy girls, they need to high five does your partner hug people much? i remember those early times, not so easy :

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[orangatan]

Hi All,

Just wanted to introduce myself after being a lurker for a super long time- I was starting to feel like a stalker so Im coming out of lurkdom. I have an almost two year old and a new babe due In late September/early October. I look forward to contributing- I've often had something to say but get shy. So yeah, hi!

[Storm Bride]

Welcome, orangatan. Where in Vancouver do you live?

[artparent]

hello, more new folk! vancouver is lucky to have such a busy board.

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[orangatan]

I live in South Burnaby, on the border of Burnaby and New West. We just bought a townhome here, before that we lived in North Vancouver, and someday we hope to be back.

[gr8fulmom]

Originally Posted by tiffani

Janet, thanks so much for posting! good to hear you are all doing well, and peaceful good wishes for your birthfamily visit.

I ended up not getting the shot today, funnily enough, they had run out. I was in the bathroom realizing that I was not feeling all that well (after my hour long discussion with the travel doctor about every possible malady that could come my way in Uganda) and contemplating waiting on actually getting the shot until I was feeling better. when I came out she asked me to come in next week, as they had run out of yellow fever vax. so that was actually a happy coincidence... I should check out homeopathic remedy to go with it, as I do feel like it would be wise to get it, even though I don't think I'll run up against bureaucratic issues not having it, but since it's often fatal and quite prevalent there, it's probably best to have it...

erica, if you're around (or anyone else with similar experience) what malaria med did you take?

Funny coincidence at the doctor for you Tiffani... not much time to write but I am following this discussion because we have a potential volunteer opportunity to spend a month in Peru this winter and malaria and yellow fever may be a concern... I am still researching the exact areas we will be in... right now my kids are all non vax and its not actually required in Peru... but thinking about hep and typhoid too... we would be in poor areas...

Ksenia Glad you had fun at Bonfire again!!! Mariah promises to be back with us next year and Robugmom... we're right in Pender Harbour at Lion's Park! How do you keep missing the festival???? next year you have to drop in for sure!!!

Hi to the newbies....

we've been away and are finally back for a little while at least I'll catch up here soon

[robugmum]

LOL! We came home on the Saturday of the fest this year so the day was spent cleaning and packing up. Every year I have the same thought and I would love to go but when we're at the cabin the rest of the world kind of ceases to exits KWIM?
I'd live there if I could....

[tiffani]

Jen, that would be awesome! I went in specifically to get the yellow fever vax, and info about cholera and malaria, and the very thorough travel doctor talked endlessly about every single possible scenario I might encounter, which was sort of helpful in that I wouldn't have thought of pouring any available liquid on a dog bite if you can't wash with soap and water right away, but we did talk about typhoid (not so much an issue in Kampala, I don't think) and all the hepatitis possibilities... I might need to do more research on Hep A, but as of yesterday I didn't want any others... it really depends on the prevalence of each disease in the areas you'll be in, as well as the sanitation levels there... If I were staying in a refugee camp, for example, I'd probably get Hep vax's, but in a nice guest house or hotel, not so much, yk?

what would you guys be doing, and who through? sounds awesome!!