Wow! I can't believe this thought even entered my brain! - Page 2

[Stugroupie]

I have had two births now, 1st was hospital. OK, they probably would have done more interventions, but I got there right before I delivered... it was a very quick and intense labor. Not a terrible experience, not great either. 2nd was an awesome homebirth.

This time around, I had some issues with staying pg, so I started seeing a CNM that works for a group of OBs. I really like her and was considering a hospital birth until she told me at my last visit that her daughter is due at the same time as me and she will be out of time at the time of my delivery. She said she would have me "meet the OBs in the practice for a few minutes" when I am about 8 mos along since one of them (whoever is on call) will end up being my doc. Ummm.... no thanks. Will be contacting my CNM and switching providers after I get my next US. (Not available thru CNM and this way I know ins. will cover the cost!)

I totally understand your desire to explore all of your birth options. There are pros and cons for every choice. I wish more women would explore their options and make concious birth choices.

I wish you a wonderful and satisfying birth experience no matter what you choose!

[MrsMcCullen07]

Good Luck in whatever you decide and I do not want to scare you or be negative on your thread so I will not go into any details but will tell you as many have before :

1. Go to your local hospital and talk and ask tons of questions and watch others ; also find other ladies that have delivered there and talk to them

I had a hospital birth with DS was not allowed to move / drink / eat / shower anything was basically trapped to my bed with 2 IV's and tons of interventions although I did refuse Epidural and when I agreed to pitocin I had been in labor almost 40 hours and was at 9.5 cm well after it made me have a 30 minute contraction I told them to discontinue it and they wouldn't said the dr. had to approve it .. Just be careful ; Ask lots of questions make yourself very well informed .. also they came and took DS for all kinds of stuff that when he got transferred to another hospital we found out wasn't done .. just be careful and know that most hospitals (atleast the one's i have experience with) do not see birth as a natural thing its a medical problem that must be solved with the use of whatever they feel is right and if you disagree with them they will just guilt you and make you feel like a awful person and doubt yourself .. I am tickled that some ladies have had wonderful hospital births but that wouldn't happen around here just be sure it can and has happened in your local hospitals ! good luck to you

[moonglowmama]

Sounds like you are a normal, tired mama who needs a break from it all!

I remembered that a friend of mine planned a weekend getaway for just her at a hotel; she arranged to have a spa treatment done one day, invited good girl friends to dessert with her, and otherwise spent the time reading, journaling, just enjoying herslf how she likes. She ordered room service, left the room a mess and let the housekeepers clean it, and had a great time. She did that a few weeks before her 3rd homebirth.

Maybe some time like that would satisfy the need you have to be cared for and it wouldn't be about having the baby, just about you and your needs.

[gabeyho]

Originally Posted by greenthumb3

My criteria include:

allowed to go past EDD and start labor on my own
ok to eat and drink in labor
no IV or Hep Lock
movement and access to tub/shower encouraged
internal checks only based on need, not routine
rooming in for baby after birth
helpful nurses who didn't come check on me and baby every 2 hours
doctor who respected me fully for no interventions unless true emergency
It would be nice to be taken care of, brought food in, no laundry or dishes!
No worries if there were to be a complication as there would be plenty of competent staff (hopefully) to help us with available technology (no worries of hb transfer and how the staff would treat me!).

BTDT, sort of. I never really 'chose' the hospital because it was my preference, but because HB with a MW was so cost prohibitive and with our insurance the hospital is practically free! However, good luck finding one that meets all that criteria. My hospital births, by most standards, were wonderful as far as hospitals go, but at home is SOOOO much better! Better recovery, better rest, better food, better comfort, only the people you know and like, no paperwork, no hassles, no defending all your hippy natural weirdness when you refuse standard things......IMO home birth is the way to go by far, which is why I decided to heck with it and am planning a UC this time, since I still can't justify the cost of a mw.

The firs time I birthed at a hospital the OB had to throw one of the nurses out of the room because she wouldn't shut up about my refusal of the IV and my willingness to compromise with a hep loc wasn't good enough for her. Imagine if I went this time and told them "NO NOTHIN, get out and leave me alone!"

[Plummeting]

Hey, if it sounds good and you're comfortable with it, do it! I am not anti-hospital birth AT ALL. I would love it if there were some great hospital right around the corner, where I could labor in the tub or shower, walk around and be mostly just left alone to have the baby. My labor/delivery experience at the hospital with my daughter was very good. I got in the shower, I didn't have an IV until I asked for one (no one knew I was in transition - I'd just been checked like right that minute and I was only at 4 cm, but I was at 10 cm 30 min later and I thought I was DYING at that time, lol) and no one made me do anything I didn't want to do. When it was over, there was no mess for me to clean up, no concern about who was going to cook my meals for the next day and no worries about something being wrong with the baby that night. There were some very nice things about it.

My post-birth experience was awful because they took DD away and didn't bring her back for 5 hours. (DH was supposed to stay with her. : Once he got to the nursery, they told him he wasn't allowed to and he just left her there. :: That, combined with the fact that the hospitals in this area SUCK if you want a natural birth, means it really isn't an option for me. But if there was a good one where I knew they wouldn't take baby away...I'd consider it.

[greenthumb3]

Originally Posted by moonglowmama

Sounds like you are a normal, tired mama who needs a break from it all!

I remembered that a friend of mine planned a weekend getaway for just her at a hotel; she arranged to have a spa treatment done one day, invited good girl friends to dessert with her, and otherwise spent the time reading, journaling, just enjoying herslf how she likes. She ordered room service, left the room a mess and let the housekeepers clean it, and had a great time. She did that a few weeks before her 3rd homebirth.

Maybe some time like that would satisfy the need you have to be cared for and it wouldn't be about having the baby, just about you and your needs.

Came back to check the thread, and saw this. Lovely! And what a good idea...I like that it's about mothering me, and less about the birth (cause the stress is really about getting everything ready and making sure everything is in place for the HB). I'm tucking that idea away...

[smeep]

I've "thought" about crossing over to the dark-side just so I could say "BTDT" to those who think I'm crazy for birthing out of a hospital. But, by think, I mean, it would never, ever happen. The few appointments I had at a local hospital before finding my midwife with DS1 were horrific enough to more than confirm my choice to birth out of a hospital (nasty, rude u/s tech, the idea that as long as I eat X times a day it doesn't matter WHAT I eat - I was literally told McDonald's is just fine, being sent for labwork without being told what it's for, 8 hour long appointments and only 10 minutes of it was with the doc, different docs every time, "she's crazy!" looks when I said I was looking for an out of hospital midwife and wouldn't be there long, etc.). The one that really got me was, I think my last appointment, when I saw a doctor sitting down with a woman in the waiting room talking about her scheduled cesarean...nothing about other options, and minimizing all the risks. As it is, I feel "robbed" of my first few weeks of pregnancy by having gone there. Every time I went there I thought, "I'm doing nothing but adding to an already too-big population." (It didn't help that I not once saw a mom nursing, saw loads of babies and toddlers munching on Cheetos and drinking bottles with Coke or strawberry-flavoured cow's milk, all in strollers being ignored, etc.) After my first appointment with my midwife it changed to, "I'm so excited to bring a beautiful, sweet baby into the world!"

[mwherbs]

well after 2 hospital births- and then 2 home I cannot imagine the numbers of strangers I would have to deal with no matter how "nice" my provider is-
I have had clients who chose to do a hospital birth after several home birth experiences- yes for someone else to take care of everything, and for the epidural- none of them would do it again - even with a doula because the mind set is not really one of honoring and respect-
some things that can be done- arrange to have friends bring in food for the first weeks- if not possible then figure out who does food delivery and order in take out(this is going to taste better than hosp food anyway) and the expense will not be more than a hospital birth- and consider hiring a postpartum doula again friends may be able to fit the bill but it just depends- (a food and work shower is usually sponsored by a friend and when the baby is born then that person coordinates the sign-up sheet and contacts everyone to let them know to start bringing in the food or someone go do the laundry or play with kidos - take care

PS I think that moonglowmama has a great idea- I would have loved that

[phathui5]

helpful nurses who didn't come check on me and baby every 2 hours

I don't think that they would be able to accomodate that. They need all the paperwork done as a CYA.

[greenthumb3]

Originally Posted by phathui5

I don't think that they would be able to accomodate that. They need all the paperwork done as a CYA.

Yep. At some hospitals, they bustle on in, make a racket, wake you up with annoying questions, etc. I had another wonderful experience where the nurse had "privacy windows" they peeked through to make the routine checks and didn't wake us at all! (Till one administrator woke me up to sign a waiver when I was co-sleeping with my son on the sofa/bed, ) (My youngest spent some time in hospital during his first year due to complications of illness) I was hoping some hospital somewhere has nurses who are more sensitive to the mother and baby and can still get their job done.

But, I have decided to not even back out and go the hospital route. Maybe if I ever live in a city with an awesome birth center (I am talking AWESOME, like in Oregon, land of all my crunchy dreams) I'd think about leaving the comfort of home, but otherwise...