Throwing in the towel on breastfeeding, and feeling really sad.

[Crunchy Frog]

My twin boys are 6 months old, and after struggling and struggling with low supply, I'm finally throwing in the towel.

I'm really sad about it because they were really great little nursers. Even though they were preemies and started in the NICU, they both got nursing the first time we ever tried. They never had any nipple confusion, and went effortlessly from breast to bottle over the months I was trying to make it work.

The maximum I was ever able to pump at one time was maybe 3 oz, and usually quite a bit less. I wasn't even able to pump enough to keep up with their needs in the NICU, and they ran out and had to supplement a few days before they left.

I don't know if I did absolutely everything possible that I could have done. A lactation consultant suggested that I try pumping after every single feeding, but I just didn't have the time or the energy for that with trying to take care of two babies.

I did try taking Domperidone, and it seemed to help for awhile, but then my supply began to plummet even on a high dose. I eventually decided to wean myself off, since it was helping so little and seemed to be causing unacceptable weight gain. When I weaned off of it my supply simply crashed, and I haven't been able to get it back up with pumping and trying to nurse. Also, my babies are now big and hungry and haven't got the patience to nurse for the tiny amount that they can get out. They mostly won't nurse anymore at all unless it's late at night and they're 9/10 asleep.

Anyway, I don't know why I'm posting this. I'm just feeling really bad about it. I really liked the nursing that I was able to do. I liked at least being able to give them snacks and comfort, and I'm really going to miss it. (It doesn't comfort them anymore, just annoys them). I'm just feeling really sad right now.

Thanks for listening.

[justthinkn]

I just posted this article on facebook in honor of world breastfeeding week... An abridged quote!

"If your baby nurses for six months, she will be much less likely to suffer from allergies, especially if she has been exclusively breastfed. Also, components in human milk protect the digestive tract from foreign proteins, which could cause allergic reactions. At about six months, a baby's system begins producing special antibodies that take over this function, reducing the possibility of food allergies... Human milk supplies all the nutrients a baby needs for the first six months of her life.
Breastfeeding for at least six months also provides other long-term health benefits. Research has found that immunizations are more effective in breastfeeding babies and that nursing at least six months reduces the risk of childhood cancers... At six months, the family of the exclusively breastfed baby will save formula costs of between $450 and $1080."

I'm sure you've had to do SO much to nurse your babies thus far, and every ounce has had amazing health benefits. Every ounce has been bought with love. I have no experience with nursing twins, but so much with not-perfect nursing situations! Congratulations, you've done so much for your LOs.

[Megan73]

Originally Posted by Crunchy Frog

I'm just feeling really bad about it. I really liked the nursing that I was able to do. I liked at least being able to give them snacks and comfort, and I'm really going to miss it. (It doesn't comfort them anymore, just annoys them). I'm just feeling really sad right now.

I'm so sorry you're going through this but I have to tell you what an amazing job you've done to BF twins for six months You should be really proud of yourself for continuing to breastfeed against steep odds.
I have one suggestion – and only because you're sad about losing your breastfeeding relationship, NOT because you haven't already done a heroic job at nurturing your LOs.
Have you considered using an at-the-breast supplementer such as a Lact-Aid?
It will keep your babies interested in the breast so they will get whatever milk is there (much more efficiently than any pump) and allow you to maintain the nursing relationship you clearly cherish.
Good luck, mama.

[MaryJaneLouise]

Wow, what an awesome mom you are! I think battling low milk supply is one of the most difficult challenges we moms have.

I hope your LO come around to want to nurse again. Maybe if you continue the sleepy-time-nursing, they will become more patient, especially as they start eating solids. For me, the turning point was at a year, when I felt less guilt over having to supplement with formula / whole cow's milk. My twins went on to nurse until age 3 1/2, and even today are big nee nee fans. I wish for you the same joy.

[dollyanna]

I'm sorry you are going through this You have done an amazing, amazing job getting this far!

My LO also lost all interest in the breast by 6 months. I only had one to feed, but I guess had an equivalent amount of milk as you to give her (pumped a max of 1.5oz). I also tried everything I heard about, but it just wasn't really helping much. After about a month of her being pretty uninterested except in the middle of the night and a week of her screaming as if I was torturing her every time I tried to get her to nurse, I gave up. It was hard emotionally, but I think it was the right thing to do. I feel like she self-weaned. Really crushingly early

ETA: Whether you do or don't decide to continue breastfeeding, know that you are an awesome super fantastic mama for trying so hard against such hard odds. If you decide that it's time to stop, I know that it will be beacuse it is the right choice for you & your babies.

[zinemama]

You've done well. Always remember that.

[Oonah]

you did good mama!