Thinking about putting the kids in school...scared! - Page 2

[Linda on the move]

May be we should have a regular thread here for former homeschool moms with kids now in school!!!

I feel a little guilty about how much I'm looking forward to the start of school, so rather than focus on what's in it for *me,* I've been pivoting my thoughts to how great it's going to be for the kids. This is about doing what's best for them, the fact that it is also very nice for me is a side benefit.

[annethcz]

Linda, I think that's a good idea. I always loved your posts when I was posting in the HSing forum, and I appreciate them in this forum as well

Originally Posted by freestyler

Anyway, I'm mulling it all over. I guess if we're gonna keep HSing, we need a LOT more activity out of the house, and if possible a circle of HSing friends. I have not found a good park day here though, and that makes it hard. So often there are such crummy politics at park days, and I find it hard to click with HSing people that I might otherwise never in a million years hang out with. It gets lonely.

I think that this would've made a really big difference for me. When we moved to a more rural area, it was the beginning of the end. Like Linda, I found that most of the HSers in my immediate area were rather rigid HSers- the only HS support group in my town is a monthly 'prep time' for HSing moms to get their curriculum together. All of the groups and co-ops are religiously based (and we don't meet their criteria). OTOH, when we lived in the city, HSing was so much better. There were secular co-ops, park days, open gyms- we could've easily been out with other HSers every day. Support is SO important.

[The Hidden Life]

I like the idea :)

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

May be we should have a regular thread here for former homeschool moms with kids now in school!!!

I feel a little guilty about how much I'm looking forward to the start of school, so rather than focus on what's in it for *me,* I've been pivoting my thoughts to how great it's going to be for the kids. This is about doing what's best for them, the fact that it is also very nice for me is a side benefit.

My kids are counting down the days til registration and then the first day of school. I do feel a bit guilty that it was me that initiated the change from hs to ps, but given the very positive response from the kids, and the huge feeling of relief it gave me, I am pretty certain this is the right decision for our family right now.

Now I'll have to figure out what to do with my 3yo all day alone! He won't be going to preschool--still working on independent toilet skills and the preschool here is pretty strict on that--maybe I'll join MOPS again or go back to doing playdates like I did with my first child. He is going to be SO upset when he sees his sisters leaving without him in the mornings!

[freestyler]

Hidden Life---My kids are the same exact age as yours! Except I also have the baby. Isn't that funny? SO I'm guessing you know exactly what it feels like to have that many cubs at home! It's, uhhh, a bit much at times.

I'm just trying to get in touch with the school principal and chat with her about my questions. She seems to be hard to reach on the phone. It's annoying.

[Linda on the move]

I just stopped by the office. The secretaries were very helpful and knew the school policies, and it gave me an idea of the feel of the place.

[cosmos]

Originally Posted by The Hidden Life

Now I'll have to figure out what to do with my 3yo all day alone! He won't be going to preschool--still working on independent toilet skills and the preschool here is pretty strict on that--maybe I'll join MOPS again or go back to doing playdates like I did with my first child. He is going to be SO upset when he sees his sisters leaving without him in the mornings!

My Ds was 3 when his sisters both started school after having hs'd. He literally layed down and rolled around on the floor for 2 mos-he had no idea what to do! That was an interesting transition for sure. I am glad he has had a chance to develop independently from them, too, as it stretches him in a good way.

[kmeyrick]

I teach in a school with low scores, high ELL issues, all the red flags people like to snark about, and I wouldn't hesitate to send my child there. There are very few discipline problems, beyond kids being annoying. The classes are small, the whole school is small, the teachers are good, and frankly, you do get out of school what you bring into it. We have a tight little community and the kids are decent kids. They live in complexes so everyone knows each other. When I tutored a girl with a broken leg, her friends stopped by everyday to bring her her homework and all the drama. All the moms know each other.

I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by the school. Sure, you'll miss a lot of things about homeschooling, but you might find some really good things, too!

[annethcz]

Originally Posted by kmeyrick

Sure, you'll miss a lot of things about homeschooling, but you might find some really good things, too!

This pretty much sums up my entire experience with my kids' school, much more succinctly than I would've said it.

[freestyler]

If we do use the public school this year for the 9 and 11 year olds, or also for my 6 yo, I keep worrying that the excessive "forcing" kids to learn will kill their real love of learning. I know it did for me in school!!

I mean, Really Stupid Things like making kids diagram sentences or learn long lists of vocabulary words....how can this help kids love reading, or writing? My kids already LOVE to read and I'm so worried that the excessive forced learning will make them reverse course and not want to touch another book. It really concerns me.

And my oldest DD is about three "grade levels" behind in math, because we are unschoolers and I have just focused on reading a LOT of books with them. She does not know multiplication tables and stuff like that, which I feel like she can learn at any time between now and, say, college!

Even though my kids might enjoy PS, especially (or only) the social aspect, they might also crash and burn academically and end up feeling bad about learning or about themselves, when they are actually super bright kids. I'm also scared of this scenario.

I wish I could NOT put them in, but now they are really wanting to go. And we ARE bored at home and I'm really running out of ideas. It is getting difficult to be with five kids all the time. The younger ones are easy, but the older two are becoming bored and are acting out. I'm tired of running all over the place and trying to figure out how to pass the time until swim practice at 3:30 every afternoon.

Feeling SO TORN. I toured the PS on Friday and liked the atmosphere, but it seemed like so much, just SO MUCH, of everything. As in, the kids don't need to DO all those things!!! It's like overloading their plates, big big big time. My kids are used to such a slower and simpler life. And I like that. We need more stimulation that we currently have, but not THAT much stimulation!! It's like education on overdrive, man. Three minutes between classes, 90-minute classes for the middle schoolers, and many other things that make me think education-on-steroids. Plus my innate feeling that the kids just don't need to learn all that stuff. But we are ready for a change.

I wish their charter school were starting tomorrow. Then they'd lose the bored feeling, and not even feel the desire for public school. They would be busy 2 days a week and not at loose ends.

[mom2ponygirl]

Originally Posted by annethcz

L Like Linda, I found that most of the HSers in my immediate area were rather rigid HSers- the only HS support group in my town is a monthly 'prep time' for HSing moms to get their curriculum together. All of the groups and co-ops are religiously based (and we don't meet their criteria). OTOH, when we lived in the city, HSing was so much better. There were secular co-ops, park days, open gyms- we could've easily been out with other HSers every day. Support is SO important.

I agree with this as well. We won't belong to the large religiously based group - it requires a statement of faith I would feel hypocritical to sign. We have a great little inclusive group where we have found some great friends. However, my daughter is really craving some intellectual/academic interaction with peers. Her friends don't have the same academic interests that she does. It is just a small pool of kids to try and match interests with, even though they are great kids! Also, she is very academically advanced, so homeschool co-ops which are based solely on age, don't fit very well for her. It is ironic to me that the public charter school has been much more flexible about class placement than the homeschool groups.

So we are trying to get the best of both worlds and do part-time school and part-time homeschool. A logistical nightmare, but hopefully it will be fulfilling for her. Wish us luck on our experiment.

[freestyler]

The religious HS groups around here are the same way---really rigid and very tunnel vision. Our charter school is much better as far as being flexible, too. Funny, isn't it? I also feel hypocritical being involved with a religious HS group, as my tastes run much more toward things pagan.

My oldest is craving getting a taste of what Big School is all about. But kids also crave candy....that doesn't make it good for them.....feeling very conflicted....

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by freestyler

I keep worrying that the excessive "forcing" kids to learn will kill their real love of learning. ... And we ARE bored at home and I'm really running out of ideas.

Part of the hype of homeschooling is that if we do it, our kids will love to learn, but if we send them to school they will have the love of learning beaten out of them. This was not my family's reality.

My kids did love to learn when they were younger, and they went through a phase where they were no longer interested in learning much of anything and were bored. Not because formal education had beaten them out of it, nor because I was no longer being Fun Exciting Mom with Lots of Cool Ideas, but just because learning at home in relative isolation loses energy after awhile (like a decade).

If your kids were passionate about learning right now, I seriously doubt you would be considering school. The reality is that your kids are burned out, too. They are bored and lonley They want a change. They think it might be more fun to learn in a group. If they were excited about learning, then all the energy for homeschooling wouldn't be coming from you. It wouldn't be a drain.

My DD who started school last year became a much harder worker and more interested in learning. She learned more than she would have at home and she was happier, which is why her sister is joining her this year.

I'm so worried that .... they might also crash and burn academically and end up feeling bad about learning or about themselves .... I'm also scared of this scenario. ... I wish I could NOT put them in,

this is all fear. The only reason you list for keeping your kids home is fear.

"When you come to the end of all the light you have and must take a step into the darkness, trust that you will step upon something solid, or that you will be given wings to fly."

[UltimateSerj]

i understand where your coming from, but i actually think I was hurting my 11 year olds love of learning, i think school feeds her love for it!

2 thoughts for you freestyler, one ( this one is helping me alot) if you put them in school, you can always take them out again.. in MD it will only take me 15 days to have them back out! soi know that i can let them try let them have the taste, and if it truely isn't what the thought it would be, or i don't like what i am seeing.. i can always have them home again...

thought number 2 is that you just need to wait it out homeschool and use the charter school... its getting closer every day, and it will soon be here... maybe plan little field trips to local ( or far) for everyday or so till then, to get you out of the house so the days will pass a little faster??

[freestyler]

LindaOnTheMove---I love that quote. And I love your ideas. Thanks. In fact, I love all the moms' ideas and responses here. it helps so much to have this community. It is amazing. Yes, so many of my reasons are fear-based, isn't that crazy? Here I am always saying to make decisions based on love and courage, never fear, and I am making ones based on fear.

Ultimate Serj---Yeh, I like the charter school. It would be good for all the kids this year, especially if my son's teacher is even better this year. He was under-challenged last year and bored. He is a really intelligent guy, and wants real mental stimulation. I worry that PS is not where he will get real food for his hungry brain. Not if the work is busywork! Maybe there will be something of substance. I just do not have enough info about that. Anyway, the charter....I love the flexibility, and the fact that it is only two full days a week (Tues & Thur) and also Friday mornings (optional.) It is made for HSers who then do home study the other days (or in our case, just go to the beach and play a lot.) I really like that the teachers respect that the kids are all at really different levels with reading, handwriting, math and everything, and they tend to therefore measure your kid's progress and effort, not final product as much. They can see if a child is making effort to learn, and they get understand when a 5th grader is doing 3rd grade math at home, they don't have any problem with that. It's a great program.

But sometimes it feels like not meaty enough. Not much going on socially, no extracurricular stuff like choir or anything, and a tiny campus where it is a little hard to stretch your wings. Still, I really value that program. Maybe I should just put our first grader there and let the older two attend Big School?

11 YO DD already has two friends meeting her at the new cafeteria on Wednesday, in the new school. She doesn't waste any time. To her, going to School would be the absolute hugest deal ever. I don't know exactly where she gets the idea that school is the greatest place on earth. ?? Certainly not from me, LOL. But all her friends go, and that exerts a really strong pull.

Feeling conflicted but need to go to bed now. Been up since 4 AM.

[SoCaliMommy]

What about letting them try shool for til like December and then re evaluate?

I really wanted to homeschool my daughter but my husbands compromise is we start her in 1st in school in Sept when school starts * she struggled in K * and re evaluate in December.

[freestyler]

Yeh SoCalMommy, that sounds like a good idea. Just re-evaluate in December or so. I just enrolled them today---it's official! They start tomorrow!! I'm less nervous now. They have SO many friends there, and it is such a nice campus, and the principal is really a smart and energetic woman, and the kids there are all smiling and happy. My kids are desperate to start. Even the 6 YO. My 3 YO is very excited to have Mommy to herself tomorrow! She packed a Whole Huge Bag for the beach and got everything as ready as a 3 YO can. She packed, ummm, like seven whole outfits!! What a total crackup.

This should be interesting. I wonder how it will go for the kids. My DH is out of town. So I've had to kinda fly solo on this one. He is thrilled I enrolled them, because he thinks school is the Be All and End All of Learning. Leave it to me to marry Mr. Brainiac Academic type. But I guess it's just as well. If I'd married someone like me, we'd have trouble paying the bills, LOL! I'm too damned lazy!! (Shhhhh, don't tell. People think I'm high energy. But deep down, I'm as lazy as they make 'em!)

I am SOOOOO happy for all your input, mammas. Pleeeaaase keep the input coming. It's interesting that so many of us are going through this right now. And we all thought we would HS forever, right?

[lauren]

Congratulations on making a decision! I'm sure you'll find plenty of support here.