Toddler lost latch during my pregnancy. (X Posted in Breastfeeding and Breastfeeing beyond infancy)

[wanderinggypsy]

I'm 39 and a half weeks pregnant with my fourth baby. This is the first time I've had a toddler still nursing when I got pregnant (my other children had four years between them). I was determined to continue nursing throughout the pregnancy, and I've done my best but as my milk supply diminished, and my breast sensitivity increased, we've gone down to a very sporadic breastfeeding pattern. At this stage, she attempts a latch every two days or so, but sadly she only remains on the breast for about a minute, because it appears her latch has gone to crap.

It may seem silly or even a blessing in disguise to many, but to me, it is absolutely heartbreaking. I really wanted to nurse her for another year at least, and I really wanted her to get the benefit of all that great milk when it finally comes in. You see, my daughter was very sick the first year of her life, and on some serious meds (chemo). I feel that the breastmilk is what brought her through when all her doctors assumed she would not survive. I would LOVE for her to get another few months at least of all that magical milk.

So, is it even remotely possible that she might get her latch back? Right now, her mouth is not open nearly enough, her tongue is not forward enough, and she's almost chewing on my nipple when she attempts to nurse. I have tried explaining to her what she needs to do to nurse properly, but it just ends up frustrating the both of us. It's so sad....

I would really appreciate any stories that might be out there about recovering from a serious nursing hiatus.

Thanks.

[lawschoolmama]

No advice here, unfortunately, but wanted to give you

[lurve]

no real advice but i was thinking (as i have a toddler right now and i am newly pregnant and i really want her to continue nursing). once your milk comes in, see if she will nurse while she is asleep. maybe subconsciously she hasn't forgotten...

[Stephenie]

I went through this recently. It took my son a few weeks of really trying, but after a lot of encouragement and tears, we got his latch back. We started working on it when dd was a few weeks old. I had to make a lot of strange faces to get him to do it right It was worth it though!

[momoftworedheads]

My 2nd son stopped nursing for 4 months when I was pg w/my 3rd son. He went back once my milk was in. Her nursed for about 6 more months and then drank expressed milk for 6 months. He was fully weaned at 3.5 years old.

Good luck, your daughter may be more interested when the milk is in and flowing.

Take care!

[wanderinggypsy]

This is very encouraging so far. I really do appreciate the replies. It's such a tough thing to go through... I never thought I'd be so intent on BFing a toddler... in the past it's always just sort of happened and I never realized how precious it is!

[pollyanna123]

I went through this with my daughter during my pregnancy with my son. Once the milk came in, her latch got even worse and she was leaving teeth marks on me. We worked hard on it, although there were definitely frustrating times. I even consulted with an IBCLC. She recommended a book called The Wide-Mouthed Frog by Kevin Faulkner. I went right out to Barnes and Noble and bought it and it actually helped! My DD at least tried to have a nice, wide latch, although she never did resume nursing with her tongue out. So while her latch has never fully recovered, we have been able to continue our nursing relationship. I have had to be particular about the position that she nurses in (she can't be hanging off me in any way- I basically only nurse her in a cradle position with her head fully supported). Also, mainly because of the positioning issues, I can't nurse her and her little brother at the same time.

[fyrebloom]

how is this for encouraging... my son unweaned after 18 months and went on to nurse until my supply dwindled after the next pregnancy LOL!

DS weaned at 14 months when I was about 13 weeks pregnant with my twins. I was sad but I knew it might happen and frankly I was worried about PTL since twins can come early. I hoped however that he would unwean when they came but to my chagrin, he didn't like the taste and wouldn't take the breast. I was pretty upset to say the least. Once the twins turned a year he asked to nurse again. I put him off because he couldn't possibly remember how but he did (or he watched the twins do it) and he had a near perfect latch and since I had toddler milk again he liked the taste. He would nurse 3-5x a day until I became pregnant again and lost supply. He self weaned at 40 months. Since he'll be almost 5 when my toddler milk comes back I don't expect him to want to nurse again at that age so I consider him to be most likely done with nursing. My twins also weaned about the same time as DS (21-22 months) and only put lips to nipple these day... or so I thought. The other day Fiona latched on like the old days (and with these sensative preggo nips I thought she was going to pull it right off!). Low and behold I think my colostrum is coming in and she gave be a good 1-2 sucks before she unlatched and told me my breasts were still "broke" . You never know what will happen, seriously! Your DD might very well latch like a champ once your new LO is here and your milk is in, maybe she won't, maybe she'll wait til later. Anything is possible! Just allow for child lead unweaning too .

[noobmom]

Great story fyrebloom.

My DS (35 months) has been nursing sporadically since I got pregnant. I suffered a lot of morning sickness and had no milk anyway, so I redirected him a lot. Now that I'm feeling better, he's nursing more regularly (can I still call it nursing if there's no milk? suckling perhaps?), but his latch has never been the greatest and has only gotten worse. I find he and I do MUCH better if I remind him to open wide and take the entire nipple/aereola in. Sometimes I have to remind him a few times in a session, but helps so much.

Also, he really nurses like a little babe when he's sleepy. Something about returning to that primal state. So I would suggest trying at a sleepy time (nap time perhaps) and reminding her to open wide. Good luck!

[lonegirl]

I found that Tyr went through periods of latching on for a minute and being done with it....I had thought he was weaning but nope...just had other things to do. HE went on to nurse until 2y6m and just cold turkey stopped (after only night nursings for about 6 or 7 months).

[provocativa]

What helped us was talking about keeping her tongue over her bottom teeth, along with the wide mouth thing. That book sounds great!

[Peony]

I've had two nurslings do this, neither one ever corrected their latch again. Figures, and I do bfing support for other moms! Despite much instruction, they just were never able to "get" it. DD1 stopped nursing all together a couple months after DD2 was born, she was just days away from turning 4 by then. DD2 is almost 3, DS is 4m old, she still latches on once in a while. Every time I think she has weaned, it turns out she hasn't!