I've never been asked to cover up except once. It was 2 years ago at the Department of Health & Human Services (food stamp office, essentially). DS was 18 months old. He was nursing on and off during our several hour wait. In the beginning he wasn't nursing, just playing with his friend whom I was babysitting that day. Soon after he sat down in my lap to nurse I heard snickering and comments from behind (I only heard bits and pieces, but the few words and the tone made it obvious that not only was it about us nursing but that they wanted us to hear). It came from two young-ish looking women, one of which was pregnant (I seriously felt bad for her unborn baby). A few minutes later a worker came out from behind her desk and handed us a single paper towel to cover up with. I don't remember her words, but it wasn't a request. Something along the lines of, "Here, you can use this to cover up." Not intending to be rude, but obviously I wasn't pleased. I'm sure I gave her a weird look, took the paper towel and when she walked off I set it on the chair next to us. Nothing was said or done after that (except the two women continuing with their snickering, being a little louder and eventually giving up). I've no doubt they complained, and I was thoroughly insulted that I would be essentially told to cover up. Especially at DHS of all places! The zip codes that office covers are predominantly two main groups: predominantly white middle to upper-middle class people (who generally do not seek those services) and predominantly black low to lower-middle class people. That infuriates me even more as the "group" they mainly serve is a group that is statistically known for being one of the least likely to breastfeed and this behaviour only furthers that sad statistic! Not to mention that it was a PAPER TOWEL! That's more obvious than a blanket and, in my opinion, shows more shame than a paper bag over my head. Plus he was 18 months old - did she REALLY think he'd keep that on his face? Clearly she wasn't under the impression that I wanted to cover up - we nursed on and off the whole time and I could've used my wrap if I wanted to hide it. And she did it at the complaints of two VERY immature women on top of everything. I was maybe a year or two older than them but I certainly wouldn't have done that to them - they acted like 12-year-olds in a sex-ed class combined with the nasty girls in high school who demean any girl they see as "less" than them.
The whole point of this post is... I never said anything. Not then, not later. Not even an anonymous letter or phone call. I didn't even tell her "no thanks"! I wish I had stood up to her and said, "Thanks but I am not ashamed of nursing my child - something all children deserve - and prefer not to cover up, otherwise I'd be using my wrap for that." Unfortunately I can't do it over again. So...is it too late to say something? Perhaps send an email or something else? Tell them my story and that while it did happen some time ago, I still felt the need to speak up so they know it happened and hopefully will let their workers know. Perhaps request that they ONLY give anything to cover up with if a mother requests it. I'm such a lactivist but I was so shocked. I was a deer in the headlights.
And, yes, what I REALLY want to hear is a bunch of, "Go for it!!!" replies.
But I also want honest opinions or suggestions.
The whole point of this post is... I never said anything. Not then, not later. Not even an anonymous letter or phone call. I didn't even tell her "no thanks"! I wish I had stood up to her and said, "Thanks but I am not ashamed of nursing my child - something all children deserve - and prefer not to cover up, otherwise I'd be using my wrap for that." Unfortunately I can't do it over again. So...is it too late to say something? Perhaps send an email or something else? Tell them my story and that while it did happen some time ago, I still felt the need to speak up so they know it happened and hopefully will let their workers know. Perhaps request that they ONLY give anything to cover up with if a mother requests it. I'm such a lactivist but I was so shocked. I was a deer in the headlights.
And, yes, what I REALLY want to hear is a bunch of, "Go for it!!!" replies.
But I also want honest opinions or suggestions.
