Sharing mental health dx in relationships?

[Satori]

For those who know/knew they have/had mental health issues before getting into a relationship, did you tell your partner? What about once things started getting more serious? What would you think if you were seriously involved with someone with a serious mental health dx and they never disclosed this fact? (and they were unmedicated to boot!)

[NinaBruja]

that kind of stuff should always always always be disclosed.
i have always disclosed mine if i thought the relationship had potential.

[Satori]

Originally Posted by poxybat

that kind of stuff should always always always be disclosed.
i have always disclosed mine if i thought the relationship had potential.

How did they respond to this info in general?

[NinaBruja]

well i tend to gravitate towards pathological guys myself so its more of an exchanging of diagnoses.

[Porcelain Interior]

I think it should be disclosed after you've been seeing each other for a while, but before the serious stage. Meaning don't say on the first day "Hey I'm mentally ill, sometimes I act WEIRD, and sometimes I don't take my meds right, but most of the time I'm pretty ok."

I'd just wait a bit longer and then have a serious talk about it, framing it in a way like: Because I care about you and things are getting serious I need to tell you something about my health.

And then just explain it boldly. Tell the person how you're managing it etc.

I've had bad experiences with telling, some people just decide they can't deal and bail on you, and some poo poo it with the very common "Well we're all a little bipolar" chuckle chuckle.

I think a viable candidate would take the information seriously, and if the person was a good potential mate they would say "I want the best for you, and I will be there for you."

There is so much stigma and misinformation out there. It's tough.

[Satori]

Originally Posted by Porcelain Interior

I think it should be disclosed after you've been seeing each other for a while, but before the serious stage. Meaning don't say on the first day "Hey I'm mentally ill, sometimes I act WEIRD, and sometimes I don't take my meds right, but most of the time I'm pretty ok."

I'd just wait a bit longer and then have a serious talk about it, framing it in a way like: Because I care about you and things are getting serious I need to tell you something about my health.

And then just explain it boldly. Tell the person how you're managing it etc.

I've had bad experiences with telling, some people just decide they can't deal and bail on you, and some poo poo it with the very common "Well we're all a little bipolar" chuckle chuckle.

I think a viable candidate would take the information seriously, and if the person was a good potential mate they would say "I want the best for you, and I will be there for you."

There is so much stigma and misinformation out there. It's tough.

In this case its someone I was seriously involved with for 5-6 years and he KNEW he was an unmedicated bipolar and did not disclose this fact and put me though hell. I joked that he was and he knew I was joking but he KNEW and didn't fess up. Plus he's trying to argue semantics that he's manic depressive and not bipolar, umm thats the old term for whats now bipolar: If I had known I would have kicked his butt to a psych for meds and maybe we would still be together. Anyway after mine and dd's dx I have been reading like crazy and everything I read just screams that its him so after only contacting him once in the 2 years since I left him I emailed him about what I had learned and thats when he fessed up and all I can think of is YOU KNEW?! YOU FLIPPING KNEW!!???:

[Porcelain Interior]

Originally Posted by Satori

In this case its someone I was seriously involved with for 5-6 years and he KNEW he was an unmedicated bipolar and did not disclose this fact and put me though hell. I joked that he was and he knew I was joking but he KNEW and didn't fess up. Plus he's trying to argue semantics that he's manic depressive and not bipolar, umm thats the old term for whats now bipolar: If I had known I would have kicked his butt to a psych for meds and maybe we would still be together. Anyway after mine and dd's dx I have been reading like crazy and everything I read just screams that its him so after only contacting him once in the 2 years since I left him I emailed him about what I had learned and thats when he fessed up and all I can think of is YOU KNEW?! YOU FLIPPING KNEW!!???:

I'm sorry. That's very dishonest and wrong. I cannot imagine being bipolar and unmedicated/unstable and blaming other people or telling them they are crazy not me.

And yes manic depressive= bipolar. Manic depressive just sounds more poetic and fanciful. I prefer manic depressive myself, I think it has a nicer less clinical ring to it, but it is one and the same.

I'm also not shocked to hear about you or your daughter. Us BP people tend to be drawn towards each other, and of course it's genetic.

Sorry you have to deal with that though.

[Shantimama]

Originally Posted by Satori

For those who know/knew they have/had mental health issues before getting into a relationship, did you tell your partner? What about once things started getting more serious? What would you think if you were seriously involved with someone with a serious mental health dx and they never disclosed this fact? (and they were unmedicated to boot!)

For what it's worth, not all mental illnesses and disorders, even some "serious" ones, need to be treated with medication. That is one of those stereotypes that keeps stigma and misunderstandings about mental illnesses going. Of course there are some that do need medication, but medication isn't always an answer to serious mental or emotional problems.