the ARGUING! I think I'd just fall over dead if she just did something without arguing!

[Treehuggermama5]

DD is 3.5 and I could say, "let's go get cake and ice cream!!" and she'd respond without hesitation with an argument! I can't stand it anymore and I find myself losing it more and more each day. I'm going crazy! How do I make it stop???

[mamamille]

I have no idea but wanted to pipe in and say you are not the only one... I say ignore it, but I know how hard that is... (can you imagine all the parents of 3 year olds just stuffing their ears and humming everytime their child whines or argues or yells? LOL that's a funny image) I just don't think getting it to stop is an option... I'll be watching to see what the others have to say!

[Nekawa Ma]

I have no idea how to make it stop. But I'm right there with you. My dd is 3.3 and if she's not arguing, she's at it with the "whys". I mean the whys where she will take any answer I give her, stick a new why? on the front of it, and ask again ad nauseum.

: It's hard to not take all the arguing personally. Sometimes it feels like I am being constantly criticized all. day. long.

[funkymamajoy]

I take him seriously when he argues. If he's argueing about ice cream, I say "okay, no ice cream then." It stops the argueing real fast.

[GuildJenn]

They are such little lawyers at this age.

My stock response is "I hear you on that." And then I proceed with whatever the plan is.

[applecider]

Yeah, just about every sentence around here (ds 4) begins with a "what is..." or a "but".

[layne]

I am trying really hard not to laugh because I thought maybe this thread was about kids my kids' ages and then read it and saw it was about much younger kids and then thought, wow, I'm sure glad my kids are past that age and then realized how many more years of arguing the OP had ahead of her which just sort of tickled my funny bone.
I asked the kids if they would like me to take them out to lunch today and they immediately started trying to negotiate for something better so they had to make their own sandwiches instead. (I don't negotiate. When they try to take advantage of my generosity I withdraw it because they started trying the same tactics on my dad and I was mortified and am trying to teach them about accepting or declining graciously right now.)
Yes, they argue and try to negotiate for many many years. On the upside, you develop a sad but useful ability to ignore it and blow it off. I swear it gets easier but am not sure whether that is because they argue less ir because you just get used to it. Also, if you make a policy of never negotiating once they start arguing, they start to give up much more amicably and suggest and accept compromises more politely after a while.
You definitely have my sympathy.

[jewelsJZ]

mamamille, i hear ya! my 3 year old does the same thing. she asked for a cookie, then argued with me when i gave it to her the other day!
i'm sorry, i don't have any good answers here, we are going thru the same thing but would love to hear how others handle this.
the other problem, is even when i just ignore her arguing or just say, "ok, dd, that's fine.", the 5 year old feels compelled to correct her repeatedly, which turns into an argument between the two of them. AAAAGGGHHHHH!!!!!

[mom2grrls]

I think before I figure out how to stop my children's behavior, I look at mine first. Do I often disagree wtih something she wants to do or argue about what she says to me? The arguing is saying "hey I have an opinion too" lol Try giving her a choice-we're having cake and ice cream, would you like it now or after dinner. It may cut down on the contradiction

[Green_Ma_4]

hahahaha...wow....
I have no advice, other then to say, I am right there with you as well!

I have 4 children, and every single one of them went through it. I am in the 3yo rebelion now with my fourth and it doesnt get any easier...lol

I can also say that they get through it, and then at about 11, it starts all over again. 11 for my oldest boy, and 9 for my oldest girl...lol

cheers
Pheen

[One_Girl]

What topics does the arguing seem to center on? If it centers on going out of the house to do stuff that normally she would want to do then I think that you need to scale back on how many trips you make out of the house. If it seems like she is arguing because she wants to make decisions then it may help to give her more decisions when you can and to phrase things so they don't sound like a choice when they aren't a choice. The broken record response if hard to argue with as is no response at all.

My friend argues with her son all the time and she used to claim that it is something that they both liked. If that is something that you do with your daughter then you might want to start with not engaging yourself in the arguments.

[Cujobunny]

Originally Posted by cody'smomma

Yeah, just about every sentence around here (ds 4) begins with a "what is..." or a "but".

here too. "But MOOOOOOOOOOMMMYYYYY......"

I have been known to end it by saying "please please PLEASE stop arguing!?!?!" probably not the best response but I think he understands that he's going too far.

[mady5]

Oh, I feel your pain! 3.5 to 4.25 was absolutely grueling this way. But it does end, I promise!

What used to help me when I would get frustrated was to sing the Beatles song "You say yes, I say no, you say stop, and I say go go go..." Dd would get mad at me for singing it, but it always reminded me that the arguing was inevitable, and that I might as well have a sense of humor about it.

The other thing I would do was try to think up really silly things to be mad about. When dd would say " I don't WANNA put on my shoes," I would come back with "I don't WANNA sleep in a bed, I want to sleep in a tub full of jello! Right now!" Sometimes this would crack her up, and we could be silly and do what I was trying to do- other times, she would get angry about this too, but it also would usually help me keep my sense of humor.