Unable to cope with life.....

[Jess's Mom]

It is not the first time I have felt this way, it happens a lot. It seems that something just gets me to my breaking point and I don't feel like I can deal with my life anymore. I have a 5yr old, two 2yr olds and a almost 1yr old and yesterday it was all fits all the time. When I had to drag my 5yr old out of a crowded room, that's when it hit me. I feel like I never should have had children and that they would be better off without me around. My kids need someone that can give them the structure they need with the love they need and I just don't know how to do that. They are all out of control and that has to be because of me, my husband is not around enough to screw them up. When it gets like this all I can think about is not being here, that I should have exited the world a long time ago, before I messed up other lives. I just don't know what to do to make it better and to feel like I can do this. I love my kids and I love my husband, but I feel they deserve more than what I have to give because it is not enough or stuff would be better around here. I don't know what to do anymore, I feel so lost and unable to deal with it all.

[faithsstuff]

Breathe. Close your eyes and breathe. One more time.


I'm so sorry you feel this way! I know it may not be a welcome suggestion, bt calling a crisis intervention helpline can help. Sometimes saying 'it' outloud and being heard can help get through those dark dark moments. They can also often point you toward resources in your area.

peace
faith

[rainer.sullivan]

Kids always show tantrums when they're looking for attention. When my son starts acting up when he's done something wrong, I'd go talk to him, explain that it's not good to behave in that manner, then make him sit in the corner and think of what he's done.

I also like the way my friend's wife treat her son. She would just tell him that she will ignore him if he still continues to act up. The boy would totally get her attention alright, but once he noticed that tantrums doesn't help to get her attention, he starts to behave.

[ScarletBegonias]

i know EXACTLY how you feel. i have struggled with suicidal depression since i was 8. i have even tried to kill myself several times, and almost succeeded twice. and some days i wish i had. then my kids wouldn't be here, living with a mom who can't give them what they need.

i have 2 kids 3 and under.

the only thing that keeps me from jumping off the highest bridge in california that is 15 minutes from my house is this:

"how is killing myself going to make my kids feel for the rest of their lives? how could they ever think that i loved them at all? if my mom had killed herself, i would have KNOWN that she didn't love me. maybe i was even the reason she killed herself. a depressed/bitchy mom is better than having no mom because she killed herself. my kids NEED me, only i can be their mom, even if i'm horrible some days."

and the thought of the people who would end up caring for my children. sheesh, i don't even let those people *baby-sit* my kids, how much worse would my kids get screwed up by those people if my kids were raised by them?

[ScarletBegonias]

things would not be better if you were gone! your family would be lost without you! just like mine would be lost without me.

your family needs you, even if you are a walking zombie sometimes and cannot give them what they need.

pm me if you ever need to talk mama.

[youngwife]

I just wanted to give you these hugs, and tell you I understand how you feel.

Raising children is very hard work. And now that I have children with health issues and a ADHD toddler, I honestly feel like I am losing my mind!!

You are definitely not alone, and I agree with what others have said.

Blessings to you,

Rebecca

And, hey, if you ever need to talk, just pm me! I'd be happy to listen and lend a shoulder to cry on!

[Jess's Mom]

update

I am feeling much better, I haven't even cried this week. I have had 2 counsling sessions and started taking celexes a week ago. For the first time in a long time today, I felt that I can do this. I sent my first born to kindergarten and she was such a big girl, I had no problems with her, it just made me feel good. I don't know if this feeling will last or not, but I hope it does. Thanks everyone for the kind words and letting me know I am not alone.