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Things NOT to say to a pregnant woman... - Page 2

post #21 of 45
ladyleah=I believe women make these comments about parenthood and epidurals because of their own experiences. I am not for or against epidurals, but for many mom's they are regretting their choice, loved their choice, or can't understand why anyone would make another choice. If a woman has been through NCB, she's likely to say "Good for you".

As for being a new parent, everyone experiences everything differently! You are an adult who is coming into this new experience armed and dangerous! Don't let anyone scare you with their experience. Of course you will lose some sleep with a newborn but then you'll realize, the first time you get 3 hours in a row, how wonderful it was! It doesn't stay like that forever! People assume that because I have 3 kids I'm always tired. No way! I sleep through the night and have for the last 3 years after my youngest started to....

I'm rambling...just keep your chin up and know you can do this. There's nothing to be afraid of and people should mind their own business. I don't know why people can't just be positive?!
post #22 of 45
The are you really doing/eating that? gets me. I avoid some things, sure, but not everything. I still eat tuna (maybe once a month) and I still eat sushi (Japanese women have done forever, who am I to argue?) I enjoy my caffeine very much thank you, and I think the baby does too it gets him moving

I think the most frustrating thing is the epidural question. Yes I know this is my first and I've never personally experienced labor. But I know I really don't want one, and the fact is that I think a lot of women have them because of the pitocin they give so freely on labor wards that makes the pain unbearable (which is why this one is going to be a homebirth). Not that I ever mention homebirth to anyone unless they seem somewhat supportive of the idea. Usually I just give the name of the hospital that is our back up.

Nearly everyone says, but you don't know how painful labor really is, (true, but I really think that it doesn't have to be as painful, and is entirely bearable and do-able) and people - I really should say women, because men don't ever say these things, just roll their eyes and go "whatever".

thanks for a chance to vent a bit! LOL it's like all the advice I got regarding morning sickness, in one ear and out the other.

List: saltines and peanut butter (classic, but I hate saltines), ginger ale, ditto, watermelon (I really don't like watermelon) . . .sprite . . .eat before bed, eat as soon as you get up . . .don't stop eating really . . .LOL

- Katrina - due 11/7/09
post #23 of 45
I very much appreciate the comments and feedback ladies!

Again, this board has been so helpful to me to just vent out the stuff swirling around my head and typing it up.....it helps me to not feel alone and isolated in the experience!
post #24 of 45
OMG. great thread.
~"You should not drink soda water- it is not healthy" (coming from a girl who was smoking)
~you are eating CHIPS? Your baby is going to be born with oily skin and acne!
~OMG, you are HUGE! Are you sure it isn't twins?

post #25 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by ExuberantDaffodil View Post
Dude...the Pregnant Lady Stink Eye -- the one expression that can cause fear in the hearts of even the most hardened criminals.
I must have some kind of permanent PLSE going on because NOBODY comments to me about my pregnancy. It's sort of like I NEVER got hit on in bars or at the gym when I was single. I must have some don't-f*@#-with-me vibe going on that makes strangers shy away from commenting. If I figure out my secret, I'll let you all in on it.
post #26 of 45
I come out with my new, blue maternity shirt on, allowing DH to bask in the radiance of my glowing beauty. So what does he say?

Oh honey! You look like a blueberry!
post #27 of 45
My MIL has great advice. I shouldnt put my arms over my head or the cord will wrap around the babys neck(no my arms are not connected to my uterus at all). I should start wearing maternity jeans or the baby will be squished and not grow. Oh and I shouldnt drink soda because so and so's daughter didnt(good for her)!
post #28 of 45
Any comment about size.

You are getting so big!

You can't possibly be x months along! you are tiny!
post #29 of 45
My standard greeting to a pregnant woman is "You look beautiful!"
post #30 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by furfeet View Post
I come out with my new, blue maternity shirt on, allowing DH to bask in the radiance of my glowing beauty. So what does he say?

Oh honey! You look like a blueberry!
Oh no!!! My dh did something similar though. He nicknamed my maternity undies 'parachute panties' and proceeded to climb up on the bed and jump off with a pair above his head. Yes, he's 30 something. Sigh.
post #31 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siennaflower View Post
Oh no!!! My dh did something similar though. He nicknamed my maternity undies 'parachute panties' and proceeded to climb up on the bed and jump off with a pair above his head. Yes, he's 30 something. Sigh.
: my husband in a nutshell.
post #32 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siennaflower View Post
Oh no!!! My dh did something similar though. He nicknamed my maternity undies 'parachute panties' and proceeded to climb up on the bed and jump off with a pair above his head. Yes, he's 30 something. Sigh.
laughup

Sorry to laugh, but that mental image was too much.
post #33 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by ExuberantDaffodil View Post
laughup

Sorry to laugh, but that mental image was too much.
No worries, I thought it was pretty funny myself (although I didn't let him know it ).
post #34 of 45
I've had at least 5 conversations with cashiers the past few weeks that went something like this:

"Wow, you've got your hands full with these two boys! Is this one a girl?"
"No, it's a boy."
"Oh you poor girl. Hope hubby is on board for trying for a girl next time!"

Seriously, I wish the decisions I made about child bearing and the feelings I have about this baby were based soley on something so simple. (No offense to those of you who really wanted a certain sex and are dealing with being bummed about it, but for us it's far more complicated.)
post #35 of 45
The two I can't stand are:

"You are going to have your hands full when this new baby gets here."
and
"Boy, you are sure going to be busy come November."

Really? Really? You mean parenting a 15YO, 3 YO and newborn requires effort? I don't just get to sit around watching soaps and eating scones all day with my feet up? I actually have to DO stuff? Why didn't someone TELL me this before I got pregnant?

The "hands full" thing just sends me over. the. edge.
It just has such a negative connotation to it. Like it's a warning that I've really gotten my clueless self into a real pickle. Dude, it's a BABY. That's a blessing, not some sort of problematic situation I should have avoided.

Thanks for letting me vent. That felt nice.
post #36 of 45
The most annoying thing I had said to me was at the very end of my last pg. A man I knew asked how I was doing. I told him I was ready to have the baby on the OUTSIDE. He said "I don't know why women get so worked up at the end of pg. They should just relax! " I glared at him and replied "Says the MAN who has never carried another human being INSIDE his body before!"

What nerve!!!
post #37 of 45
The most frustrating thing that I probably hear 5-6 times a day is when they hear that I'm having another boy (second boy), then they make a face like they're thinking "poor thing" and say "awwwww..... another boy?!?!?!?!?!?" ...

The worst thing is that I don't even know what to answer! I get so mad that I just say something generic like, I like two same gender siblings or something like that, but then I get angrier that I had to explain myself! uuugh!
post #38 of 45
In my last pregnancy, I was discussing how hunger pretty much rules your life when you’re pregnant and if you don’t eat it can make you feel sick. My dad interjects with a “That’s just a cop out, that's not real” meaning that pregnant women are somehow embellishing all the sickness and food issues that pop up.

I told him how else does he think that another living breathing HUMAN could be born. It’s the first law of thermodynamics. Energy cannot be created nor destroyed. If I don’t put into my body, nothing will ever come out. The sickness is our bodies ways of ensuring that we eat.

The comment was both clueless and macho so I was torn between feeling pity and disgust.

This time around, everyone before now (my 6th month) had made comments about how big I am. I really don’t get why they think that’s okay to say. Who would want to hear that?

Now that I’m 6 months it’s somehow gone opposite. Now, I’m soooo small to be 6 months. I’m all belly and always have been. Nothing has changed.

I just chuckle to Dh about the change of hearts people have had.

By now people who know me don’t want to discuss pregnancy. I’m always on a soapbox and I find that most people want to stay blissfully ignorant about the risks of hospital births, epidurals, formula, vaxing, etc. They don’t trust me, a Ph.D scientist, but they trust their M.D’s explicitly. Although Ph.D’s are the one’s doing the research.

I get tuned out quite a lot these days which is better than me having to listen to yet another person tell me not to pick up my toddler.
post #39 of 45
I can't stand being told I can't do this or that because I'm pregnant, I can't eat or drink this or that because I'm pregnant... but then it's perfectly fine for me to clean the whole house (but can't go roller skating or bowling, which both seem less impact that cleaning my house) or be the one who picks up the sleepy five-year-old in the morning and carries him down the stairs. Bleah. No one needs to tell me what to do or what not to do. I've done the research (I'm teased by everyone I know about how much research I do) and know what is good for me and my growing babe, so everyone else can take their bossiness and shove it.
post #40 of 45
In the spirit of this thread, I thought y'all might like this:

Top Ten Things to NOT Say to a Pregnant Woman
http://parenting.ivillage.com/pregna...06c0j1,00.html

Number 8 is particularly awkward ...
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