How to approach principal with concerns about a teacher?

[Marisol]

My DS's former kindergarten teacher is now teaching second grade and he has been assigned to her class this year (school starts in a week). We had a very unsatisfactory experience with her during the kindergarten year, and I would like to see DS reassigned to one of the other two teachers, and will have a chance to make my case to the principal in the next couple days.

I'm told that reassignment is almost unheard of in our small-town district, so I have just one shot to be extremely persuasive to the principal and I don't want to blow it. I'm afraid of coming off as too confrontational or accusatory, and need advice on how best to approach the conversation.

Here are my two biggest beefs with the teacher:

1. Substantial amount of non-educational TV time. Every day, for at least 20 minutes during snack time, the kids watched a movie brought in by whoever was the student of the week. If weather was bad, there was no recess, and they watched movies during recess time instead. So, a lot of days, they were getting more than an hour of screen time. I would have no problem with National Geographic specials or something like that, but they were watching the latest Disney/Pixar/etc movies. DS would come home bursting to tell me about Chicken Little or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or The Lion King. I raised my concerns with the teacher on two occasions during parent-teacher conferences and was given the brush-off each time. The first time she said "Oh, these little guys just can't concentrate in the afternoon. Kinder really should be half day." The second time, she said the amount of screen time was just completely normal and I should expect it even into second or third grade. After a year with a fantastic first-grade teacher who didn't show entertainment movies at all, I realized the problem was the kindergarten teacher, not the culture of the particular school.

2. Confusing communications from the teacher. On occasion, I would receive little notes that indicated DS was slow to finish his work, but that didn't go into any further detail. After one note where she stated he "is lazy" (actual words), I wrote back asking her to elaborate on what is causing his inattention the most (talking to other kids, staring out the window, etc.). I also asked for her advice on what we can do at home to improve the behavior, and mentioned that my husband was willing to come some day and observe DS so we can learn what the problem is in order to help him. She then backpedaled amazingly fast, and sent a follow up-note saying that not finishing their work is "totally normal at this age" and that it really wasn't a problem at all. So, if it's age-appropriate (and I agree it is, for a kindergartner), why send all the notes? Why go to the point of calling my kid lazy? So confusing.

I really, really don't like this teacher. I don't want to subject my kid to another year with her and lose the gains that have been made in the past year. He was sullen, didn't like school, chewed his nails and shirt when he was in her kindergarten class. With his amazing first-grade teacher, it was the complete opposite. He thrived and loved school and was confident. Am I just a helicopter parent here? Is this worth fighting? If so, how can I approach the principal in a way that will persuade her to make this unusual concession, and not put her on the defensive?

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Um... I've got to say that if these are your too main issues, this is going to be a hard sell. Not that its not worth trying, but I can see a couple of obvious "rebuttal" responses that would be pretty hard to dispute. First and foremost, she may teach K differently than 2nd grade. The ages are different, the expectations are different, the standards for the work are different. While I don't think movies are the best answer, it is hard for 5 YOs to concentrate all afternoon and some purely downtime entertainment might make sense. But not necessarily in 2nd grade, so you might or might not expect this again.

And your son's difference in behavior could be explained simply by maturity or other factors (perhaps even changes at home). I'm not saying that this was true, just that a principal trying to find a reason to deny your "special request" could easily say so.

I think your best bet is probably to emphasize your fear that she has a pre-disposition not to have high expectations of your child, pointing to the "lazy" comment. Followed by an unwillingness to work with you to correct issues that she identified.

But, unfortunately, if your son did reasonably well and her K class met the standard benchmarks for K students, you are going to have a hard sell. I'm sorry.

[obiandelismom]

I wish I could tell you, because I'm in a similar battle right now myself! I agree with pp, though, that the best argument would be her description of your DS as 'lazy.' Do you still have that note? Also, you might ask the principal why the teacher was moved - is she more experienced with 2nd? It's possible that she'll end up being a great 2nd teacher - the skills and strategies are SO different between the two age groups.

And then I'll just tell you what I've been telling myself - kids who have had at least one decent year can survive a bad year, and even end up stronger for it. They will always have to deal with difficult bosses, supervisors, etc, and it's good for them to learn coping strategies.

Yeah, I know - it's a crock. It's not helping me one little bit, either.

GOOD LUCK TO YOU!

[Marisol]

I'm pretty sure I still have the "lazy" note, and I'll do a search for it tonight.

There are more issues that contribute to my not liking her, but they are harder to "prove" than the ones I listed. My overall impression of her, from what DS told me of his days, and from me visiting her classroom to deliver items, is that she used the movies and copious amounts of "busy work" as a way to babysit the kids and keep them out of her hair. Anytime I dropped in, she was sitting at her desk, on her computer.

Many days, DS would come home with these massive packets of papers that were printed off kids' coloring websites, and this had been their "work" for the day. The notes home where she was complaining about him not finishing his work -- it was these packets she was talking about. DS would spend all his time making the first few pages total Crayola masterpieces.

If I wanted him to color pictures and watch movies all day, I would have sent him to daycare, not school. I realize it was only kindergarten, but she rarely did basic things I would expect of a kindergarten teacher, like read books to them. In first grade, it was such a night-and-day difference. DS would come home all excited about some book they read about camels.

I once saw her yell at her son (a fourth-grader), threatening him with grounding because he got a "C" on a test. : Does she think that's really an effective way to improve a kid's grades? Perhaps she wanted me to yell at my kid because he didn't finish his coloring pages.

[mom2ponygirl]

This is a tough one. I think I would lead off with the wonderful year your son experienced last year and how his interest in learning and in school shot up. Then I would discuss the anxiety symptoms your son exhibited during his Kindergarten year. I would suggest that your son associates those feelings with this teacher. (At this point you don't have to mention how the teacher caused these feelings, just talk about their existence to begin with) Ask the principal for a solution to the problem this presents. Remind him that your top priority is for your son to continue the progress he made last year. Put in the thought that having a few positive years in a row will set him up for school career success and help him weather those rough periods in the future. See what the principal suggests. Hopefully he/she will just reassign him to another teacher. If not, then go into specifics and have a copy of the note if you find it.

I don't have any experience with this, but this would probably be the way I'd approach it. I would want it not to be about accusations, but a problem to be solved. Of course, if it is not solved in an appropriate manner, then I would bring in more specifics. I'd probably emphasize the poor fit with my child. My child is more engaged with more reading activities and less screen time. He really responds well to a teacher that models passionate learning, etc. The principal knows you are basicially saying the teacher uses the TV and boring worksheets to avoid engaging the kids, but you are saying it in a non-confrontational way. Save the 'lazy' note for a last ditch effort if all else fails. Try to stay as unemotional as possible. Bring someone else to the meeting! Your husband in a suit is ideal, but even just a friend will add a little weight to your side. A principal who would blow you off will be a little more circumspect in front of a witness.

Good luck!!

[Marisol]

I appreciate the feedback and ideas so far. Keep 'em coming! DH and I are going to start getting our game plan together tonight.

In a partial update, the principal returned my call and we had a very brief convo. I phrased it as "my husband and I have some concerns that [son] might not be a good fit for Ms.[Teacher]'s class a second time around." I could sense that she recognized a can of worms there, and doesn't have the time to get embroiled in it, so she immediately offered to switch him to a different teacher if they get a new second-grader transfer in during open enrollment this week. She can't switch him right now because it would unbalance the class numbers. It would leave the "bad" teacher with 19, and saddle another teacher with 22.

This is not a small "if." My town is very small. The entire school district has just over 800 kids. A new second-grader transferring in would be nothing short of miraculous.

So, I'm in a holding pattern for now, keeping my fingers crossed.