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Mommas who live in a not so crunchy area!

post #1 of 44
Thread Starter 
I am struggling...I love where we live, (as in the area not the people) but (the people) are so conservative (not polotics wise) they don't understand me. I don't have a lot of support in South Dakota, on top of being one of the places in the US with no birth centers and having very little options when it comes to maternity care and children's care... and no one practices anything holistic around here... (some chiro's do but I can't go to a chiro for somethings yk?)

So I am really struggling being looked at as the kooky: who won't conform and that the comments i get acts like I am going to harm peoples kids for not vaccinating my own, or I am nut job for wearing my kid, and how unclean it is to cloth diaper and what not...

Anyone else in the same boat? anyone else crunchy (or soggy) in an uncrunchy area?
post #2 of 44
Me me me!!

I am a vegan agnostic mom who doesn't vax, extended breast fed all my kids, and cloth-diapered my last baby. I live in a very small farming community. People who get seriously defensive and angry when they hear I don't eat meat or dairy. I don't even tell people things like about not vaxing because I don't want to get into it with anyone. There are a few crunchy people like me around here but not many. I am one of the few "weird" ones, but that's OK with me. People are very conservative around here... and everyone is white, Christian and heterosexual. Not much diversity here.

I work at the high school as a paraprofessional with special ed. kids. My students affectionately call me "hippie" because I am vegan, environmentally conscious, and love Bob Dylan. Most of the time things are fine, but some days I feel more of an outcast than others.

I do have a chiro nearby who also doesn't vax his kids. He sells supplements and does acupuncture, and is into more holistic things.
post #3 of 44
Thread Starter 
where in MN are you? anywhere near the South Dakota border? My husband calls me hippie, but sometimes it is not in a loving way, as him and I don't always see eye to eye on the choices I am making for our daughter. I just tell him if he wants an opnion, do the research and come up woth an argument and then you can help make informed desicions about our child!

I asked on a local moms website for Dr rec that are supportive of non-vax select vax and I faced a hail-storm! maybe it is a midwestern thing? they can't see past what they were taught...I grew up in MN but even my own parents have some "issues" about the things i chose to fdo or not do.

Glad I am not the only one out there who feels like a total outcast!
post #4 of 44
I live in Harmony, which is way on the other side of MN.
My husband is not crunchy at all either, although he puts up with my ideas. I am the only vegan in the house, for example. I take my kids to the Mayo clinic to a ped there, but after I stopped vaxing I met the typical arguments from her, as she is very pro-vax. I don't take them to well-child visits anymore. If they have a minor illness and need to go to the doctor, I take them to my little clinic here in town, where they know nothing about their vax history. It would be nice to have other options, though. I take my kids to a regular dentist and am met with arguments about why I should give my kids fluoride, like I'm just a total idiot.

It sucks that you feel like you have no support. I know how that feels. How old is your daughter?
post #5 of 44
Me!

Or at least I have not really found the "crunchy" people here. I live in Florida near Orlando.

I have one friend that I met who is no-vax and into natural foods and such. Sometimes I think she and I are the only ones.

I guess I don't worry too much about people thinking I am weird because I stick out like a sore thumb around here anyway. I wish I could find more Mommas like me though!
post #6 of 44
in mexico city here...
hard to be looked at on the street, hard not to be spoken to at the park, hard to make friends, hard, but at the same time fun, knowing that everyone thinks i´m completelly out of my mind!!!!!!!!
post #7 of 44
Ha ha ha!! I live in a Marine Corps community. I think that's as uncrunchy as it gets. The 12 or so other mamas in the US that are married to Marines and are crunchy are all on MDC, I suspect. I tend to be a really friendly, open person. I give people a chance and listen to their thoughts and then talk to them about mine. Nine times out of ten people are really interested and we end up in interesting discussions. I don't go out feeling like an outcast. I'm just me.
post #8 of 44
Thread Starter 
My dd will be a year next month, I posted on a local to me moms website about Ped recomendations for anyone who non/select vax....bad idea I got ripped a new oone, even to the pint of name calling and someone threatening social services on me, needless to say I don't go to that website anymore. Good to know I am not alone!
post #9 of 44
Wow Monica, that is terrible!
post #10 of 44
Me!!! We have the Ergo and I get asked this alot:
Can your baby walk? I say Yes.
Then...well, you should let that baby walk instead of being in that carrier. That baby is too big to be in there.
I say It is good for up to 40 lbs, and LO is 25 lbs. and my Dr. said it is the best way to carry LO.
I then get this: You are going to have back problems. I say No, actually hip carrying is what makes back problems.

And please, do NOT get me started on Organic food, BFing, using green shopping bags! Or not getting all those necessary vaccines.
post #11 of 44
Wow do I know how you ladies feel. I live in a small town in Eastern Washington. We now have a very small natural market, but it's a start. I don't have kids yet, but when I had fosters I tried hard to raise as I would my own. People always gave me flak for feeding them organic or not wanting them to have artificial color (they were horrible when they had some). Vaxing wasn't an issue, because I had no choice in the matter. It broke my heart when I had to get them vaxed though. You talk about being vegetarian and people look at you like your crazy. I live in the middle of cow country, so everyone eats and/or raises meat. I wish there were more crunchy people living here. I think more people are starting to be a little more open minded, but it still hard.

I am going to start TTC in about 6 months to a year and the closest midwives are 2 hours away. I don't really want to birth in the closet hospital (20 min away), so I will drive that. I'm not a very outgoing person, so I don't usually bring things up. Especially things that will cause confrontation.
post #12 of 44
I live in a relatively conservative community in Southern California (I know, I know... our most conservative folks are probably considered libs in many parts of the country). Anyhow, home birth, baby-wearing and nursing in public are quite rare here. I've found that I really enjoy being different. I use my experience as a doula and home birth mom to teach people. When they look at me like I'm nuts for having a home birth, I just look them straight in the eye and ask them, "What is it about home birth that is so frightening to you?". This usually allows us to open up dialogue... and with any luck maybe plant a small seed.

Good luck!
Jen
post #13 of 44
After raising my daughter in Oregon the first three years, being now in San Jose, Ca is saddening. I have no one in Ca that shares the same values as me. And I rarely see babywearing, and never see any breastfeeding. I miss Oregon so much.
post #14 of 44
I am in Nebraska and it is harder than hell to find organic anything! There is ONE store that is totally organic and it is an hour away and all my friends think I am totally insane for driving that far and spending money on that "stuff" They think I am nuts because my toddlers have never had fast food and we believe in extended breastfeeding. I feel like a total alien.....:
post #15 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~LadyBug~ View Post
I am in Nebraska and it is harder than hell to find organic anything! There is ONE store that is totally organic and it is an hour away and all my friends think I am totally insane for driving that far and spending money on that "stuff" They think I am nuts because my toddlers have never had fast food and we believe in extended breastfeeding. I feel like a total alien.....:
I know the alien feeling. When I had my foster kids I got so much flack for not taking them to fast food places or feeding them tons of processed food. If I tried explaining why most people would get a glossed over look on their face. Like they couldn't even fathom what I was saying. After awhile I quit trying to explain.
post #16 of 44
Thread Starter 
well I got a laugh form my chiropractor today when I took dd in...he said he saw my facebook page "Monica is to hippie for south Dakota" he thought is was pretty funny, and he knows how I feel. But he has his family standing behind his choices, my own DH doesn't agree with some of the "crazy" stuff I do... he just rolls his eyes tho!
post #17 of 44
Yeah, I just don't understand why people can judge ME, but I don't judge them. Go ahead, give your kids crap, they are not MY kids, but if I politely tell someone "No I am not going to meet you at the McDonalds play area because I have food at home" they just look at me in disbelief like I was turning down the winning lottery ticket


However, I did have a great time shopping at Whole Foods today, the fruit manager gave my girls each a free banana and apple :
post #18 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by paakbaak View Post
in mexico city here...
hard to be looked at on the street, hard not to be spoken to at the park, hard to make friends, hard, but at the same time fun, knowing that everyone thinks i´m completelly out of my mind!!!!!!!!
Where in Mexico City are you?
I am from there and it is usually really crunchy!! Breastfeeding is the norm, babywearing is common, and most people eat fresh fruits and veggies instead of processed foods. They love their vaxxes though....

Or maybe it is just crunchy compared to where I live (Houston Texas) which is awfully not crunchy.
post #19 of 44

I'm new here

Hey Crunchy friends,
I actually hadn't heard of that term before, but if it is referring to carrots and celery then I guess this is where I belong. It helps me to feel a bit better after reading the posts from you others about how isolated it feels to be the only one in your community who seeks out the natural and organic things in life.
I actually wasn't raised to be any kind of "hippy" or whatever people are called these days- crunchy. I mean I grew up eating meat and watching my parents cut coupons and find good deals at the grocery store. I had no idea what "organic" was back then or even that it existed.

My husband and I got married, graduated college and moved 1500 miles away from our families and communities we had known for all our lives.

Then I decided to make some changes. My DH and I moved down to San Antonio from Utah (where we had grown up) and I was able to start thinking some things through for myself. I did a whole food eating program based off of www.greensmoothiegirl.com and lost about 30 pounds. I started feeling really good, and balanced inside.

Then from the group blog of that site I met other people whose blogs I started following and learned more about raw food eating and baby wearing and cloth diapering and nursing for longer than most people I had known ever did. This opened up a whole new world for me.

In the process, we discovered we were expecting our first baby. I had for a long time believed that I would need to make some changes in my parenting- different from what I grew up with. So my DH and I have been learning new things through reading and networking. But seriously here in San Antonio, there aren't a lot of crunchy people. It's a big city and yet there is only one Whole Foods here.

There are few people that cloth diaper or wear their babies. All the people I talk to about these new discoveries of mine seem quite closed to the idea of anything like that. So I've felt quite alone. I'm hoping I can make friends somehow that can understand where I'm coming from and offer the appropriate encouragement.

Basically I'm wanting a support group that can help me as I make these lifestyle changes. So hopefully this works for that purpose.
post #20 of 44
Welcome NewMom! You will fit right in!
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