Discouraged

[camelfam]

I went to my doctor's appointment yesterday and he told me I have really tiny pelvis. I am attempting a VBAC and while I'm pretty sure he's just talking crap and my pelvis is fine (I'm almost 5'8", size 10 feet, and did not have Rickets nor was I malnourished) it is hard to not let that comment sink in. I keep thinking about it, like maybe that was why I couldn't deliver Morgan (not that I ever got to the pushing to try, never got past 3 cm dilated). I'm trying to think happy, big pelvis thoughts, but its hard because now this seed of doubt has been planted. Why would he even say that...did he even have a reason or did he totally pull it out of thin air. Is my pelvis on the petite side...if it is, it is the only thing petite about me and I would find that to be a bit ironic. Ugh, I knew he'd eventually give me a reason why I wouldn't be able to deliver vaginally, but I was thinking he would keep on with the big baby thing, not attack my pelvis! This is why we are planning a homebirth because we thought something like this might happen. I'm only seeing him as shadow care, but still the comment is sinking in and I'm frustrated with myself for letting it affect me.

According to my doctor I was due on August 3rd (based on a late US) and according to my midwives I'm due on August 15th (based on my cycle). I know the latter is more accurate but I'm not looking forward to the next couple weeks if the baby doesn't come soon and fighting with this doctor. I really liked him up until this comment, but I feel like it is going to be a struggle from here on out. Once again, something I expected but am losing the energy to fight anymore. I feel like I've been in a battle this entire pregnancy, fighting for my right to have a vaginal birth. I'm tired, stressed and my body is in a lot of pain. I can barely walk, get up out of bed or go from sitting on the floor to standing. It hurts so much. It wasn't like this with my daughter. I was uncomfortable for sure, but the pain this time is just excruciating. It is very debilitating and I'm wondering how I'm going to push out a baby when I'm already pre-contractions in tons of pain. I'm also not dilated at all and the baby is high, so I'm thinking it won't be real soon. Ugh, I just feel like I'm losing my confidence ladies!

[GradysMom]

my thought is you should visit a chiropractor. Mine has done a great job of getting to know my pelvis and as a man he seems very attune to the fact that pelvises grow and stretch. If you could sneak in a few adjustments now it may help to loosen up your pelvis... and pry that damned doubt out.

I just love hearing how my chiro can tell my pelvis is much more loose now... he is like a relaxin meter....

besides, did your md check you while you were on your back... because that will give the smallest openning measurement as the pelvis collapses when we lay down, and who knows maybe a really stretchy pelvis realy collapses and feels even smaller than it is actually cabable of being. Men think they have the only stretching and growing body part.... ours is hidden and powerful...

stay strong and make him talk these FACTS out with you... get him to open that little door in his brain, it may make you feel more comfortable.

[writteninkursive]

PLEASE don't give up! I know it's sooo hard to stay determined at this point (I've had two c-sections and am VBA2Cing this time), but just think, it's only a couple of weeks! It will be worth it in the long run for you to stay strong and not let this quack tell you you can't birth your baby. Of course you can!!!!! I was told the same thing by my DO with my second. He said I wouldn't be able to do it (because I didn't dilate fast enough with #1 - BECAUSE I WAS INDUCED!!!!), that my blood pressure was too high, that my pelvis was too small, that the baby was too big (he estimated over 9 pounds and she ended up being 7 pounds, 6 oz!). It's a lie and you know it. Think how disappointed you will be in 6 months if you look back and realize you gave up this close to the finish line. I am the same size as you (with slightly smaller feet ) and believe me, you will do fine! Unless you're really into corset wearing, that is. Lol. (I'll assume you're not).

I say get that stupid August 3 due date OUT of your head and focus more on mid-month. Hang in there. It's only a couple more weeks. I don't know how many prior children you have, but let me tell you - after being coerced into a second c-section for false reasons - NOW I'm really having problems. If you're going to have more children after this, you're increasing your chances of placenta problems. My placenta is now firmly attached into my scar tissue from the c-sections, creating a much higher risk for placental complications and even creating the possibility of having bleeding problems if the placenta won't come out and they've even mentioned hysterectomy to me! It's SOOOO worth it to tell your doctor how it is and HAVE THIS BABY NATURALLY!!!!

Just a little pep talk. HANG IN THERE, okay???? Seriously. Don't let him get to you. Go to the midwives and tell the doctor to go screw himself. You don't need a specific doctor to deliver your baby (there's a good chance he'll not be on call or will be vacationing in the tropics anyway when you go into labor .

We are here to keep you focused. STAY STRONG MAMA!!!!!

[ComfyCozy]

I tell my clients that if they get the "small pelvis" spiel, they should ask for specific measurements and get the OB to get very detailed about where the concern lies. It's not going to happen. Just remember what a good thing it is that even if you did have a small pelvis, the baby's head will mold just fine to come through, and your pelvis has joints that allow it to move, and expand, and accomodate your baby.

Now go have some tea and visualize that baby coming out of your vagina. You can do this.

[Mamatoabunch]

Originally Posted by writteninkursive

PLEASE don't give up! I know it's sooo hard to stay determined at this point (I've had two c-sections and am VBA2Cing this time), but just think, it's only a couple of weeks! It will be worth it in the long run for you to stay strong and not let this quack tell you you can't birth your baby. Of course you can!!!!! I was told the same thing by my DO with my second. He said I wouldn't be able to do it (because I didn't dilate fast enough with #1 - BECAUSE I WAS INDUCED!!!!), that my blood pressure was too high, that my pelvis was too small, that the baby was too big (he estimated over 9 pounds and she ended up being 7 pounds, 6 oz!). It's a lie and you know it. Think how disappointed you will be in 6 months if you look back and realize you gave up this close to the finish line. I am the same size as you (with slightly smaller feet ) and believe me, you will do fine! Unless you're really into corset wearing, that is. Lol. (I'll assume you're not).

I say get that stupid August 3 due date OUT of your head and focus more on mid-month. Hang in there. It's only a couple more weeks. I don't know how many prior children you have, but let me tell you - after being coerced into a second c-section for false reasons - NOW I'm really having problems. If you're going to have more children after this, you're increasing your chances of placenta problems. My placenta is now firmly attached into my scar tissue from the c-sections, creating a much higher risk for placental complications and even creating the possibility of having bleeding problems if the placenta won't come out and they've even mentioned hysterectomy to me! It's SOOOO worth it to tell your doctor how it is and HAVE THIS BABY NATURALLY!!!!

Just a little pep talk. HANG IN THERE, okay???? Seriously. Don't let him get to you. Go to the midwives and tell the doctor to go screw himself. You don't need a specific doctor to deliver your baby (there's a good chance he'll not be on call or will be vacationing in the tropics anyway when you go into labor .

We are here to keep you focused. STAY STRONG MAMA!!!!!

I could not have said it better, listen to this mama!

[MiamiMami]

It's the bait and switch Mama

FWIW, I never dilated past 1cm with AROM and Pit and ended up with a c-section for FTP. Dd was just 7.11. DS was my vbac baby at 15 days past EDD and he weighed in at 9.1.

[marlygf]

if you can, quit going to him. He seems to have made you stressed all this time. I mean just let him know, if you need him, you'll let him know. or don't tell him.

I would also suggest going to a chiropractor. Even if you need to go 3 times a week, that will also help with the pain. I was in so much pain last month because I hadn't gone all month! I went once, on Monday, and its not perfect but my body certainly isn't yelling at me as much. Have them work on your pelvis. Mine does every time! Seriously, you need to not go see him because of all the negative energy and just get back into your head and reminding yourself that your body can do it!

[trancechylde]

[QUOTE=GradysMom;14193764]Men think they have the only stretching and growing body part.... ours is hidden and powerful...QUOTE]

I LOVE this!!! :

[camelfam]

Thank you so much for the encouragement! It is just what I needed to hear. I get so angry when I hear about doctors telling women their pelvises are too small, and here I am letting this stupid doctor get to me. I keep trying to think that this will only add to my triumph when I have this baby vaginally.

I have been seeing a chiro since the beginning of July for the pain, which started in the beginning of June. Everything I've read about SPD makes me think that is what I have. The chiro helps for awhile but as soon as I do anything active the pain comes back. I want to stay active but it puts so much stress on my body when I take walks, weed the garden or do a lot of cleaning. Very frustrating because my midwife is really encouraging me to do these things and I want to, but it just hurts like hell. Like I said, I had nowhere near the amount of pain with DD as I'm having in this pregnancy. Not even comparable. I'm just worried about trying to labor with the pain my body is already experiencing. I can't roll over in bed at night without waking up my husband because I'm crying out in pain. Maybe all that will just melt away when it comes time to labor so I can focus on the pain of contractions. That is what I'm hoping for! Once again, thanks for the enouragement. It is what I know in my heart to be true, but I was still letting that stupid comment get to me.

[Hezzie]

Oh boy, that doc is full of it. Don't fall for the "tiny pelvis" crap. It's completely unfounded. Like Ina May Gaskin says, very very few women have a pelvis so small that they can't naturally birth a baby. The fact is, Nature rarely causes a baby to grow so large that Mama can't birth without medical intervention.

I'd advise you stop seeing that doctor since he's not being encouraging and giving you false info. Also, he may start pressuring you for a scheduled c-section based on the earlier due date. Choose your battles. You don't and shouldn't have to fight with him if you don't want/need to!

If you are concerned about pelvic size, try giving birth in an upright squatting position or on your hands and knees. This opens the pelvis up to its maximum size and allows baby to emerge easier. Midwives often use those positions to birth big babies or babies with shoulder dystocia. Gravity is your friend! Don't give birth in Lithotomy position (on your back) if you can help it as this position narrows the pelvis by 30% and can make labor a lot harder and more painful.

You CAN do this!

[Pookietooth]

Have you read Ina May's Guide to childbirth. She mantra is "your body is not a lemon" -- you were built to give birth vaginally! Can you find a different health care provider? Are you needing an OB backup?
Here are some links for the SPD:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...=#post14106137
http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/p...%20for%20Birth

[brooklynbabymama]

Originally Posted by Pookietooth

Have you read Ina May's Guide to childbirth. She mantra is "your body is not a lemon" -- you were built to give birth vaginally![/url]

Another great mantra from that book for this chick who was told the same BS about her small pelvis. Ina May said there was nothing abnormal about her pelvis, that it's designed to stretch and accommodate, and to just know:

You're going to get HUGE!