WWYD? Jewish Celebration

[Raene]

Knowledge and respect for one's culture is very important to me.

My in-womb baby is conceived via sperm donor. The donor is Jewish, but I'm not. I know very little about Jewish culture, but I really want my child to know about his/her background.

I joined a mailing list for Jewish families that sends out kid's books each month to our house. I thought it would be great when the baby's a little older to read him/her these books. Also included in this mailing list is potluck and get-together events with other Jewish families in the neighborhood.

I really want to go, but I am a bit hesitant. I think since 3 out of 4 of our family members are not Jewish and know little to nothing about Jewish culture that we might stand out (because of our lack of knowledge). But I'd like to go in order to learn, and also to teach our 5 y.o. about Jewish culture too. The get togethers include things like holiday events, which would be so great for us to know about.

What would others do in this situation? Go and explain the situation? Go and not say anything? Not go?

[imnottelling]

Originally Posted by Raene

Knowledge and respect for one's culture is very important to me.

My in-womb baby is conceived via sperm donor. The donor is Jewish, but I'm not. I know very little about Jewish culture, but I really want my child to know about his/her background.

I joined a mailing list for Jewish families that sends out kid's books each month to our house. I thought it would be great when the baby's a little older to read him/her these books. Also included in this mailing list is potluck and get-together events with other Jewish families in the neighborhood.

I really want to go, but I am a bit hesitant. I think since 3 out of 4 of our family members are not Jewish and know little to nothing about Jewish culture that we might stand out (because of our lack of knowledge). But I'd like to go in order to learn, and also to teach our 5 y.o. about Jewish culture too. The get togethers include things like holiday events, which would be so great for us to know about.

What would others do in this situation? Go and explain the situation? Go and not say anything? Not go?

To be quite honest, normative Jewish law defines someone as being Jewish if their mother was Jewish, not their father...I guess as a culture, it doesn't matter much, but as religion, unless your baby converts, your baby is not Jewish.

We also get free books mailed to our home once a month or so
Honestly, if I were you, I wouldn't feel subconscious. It seems like you're pretty open about this, and explain that you're interested in learning more about Jewish culture since your baby descends from Jewish parentage...not necessarily the first time you meet them, but as you get together. Not all Jews know all that much about their own Judaism, and while I can't speak about the specific people you'll be meeting and their knowledge, it's not unheard of at all for someone to come wanting to learn more. Sounds like it will be fun and no one will feel like you're intruding. I say go for it if it's this important to you, as it seems to be

[smeisnotapirate]

Originally Posted by imnottelling

To be quite honest, normative Jewish law defines someone as being Jewish if their mother was Jewish, not their father...I guess as a culture, it doesn't matter much, but as religion, unless your baby converts, your baby is not Jewish.

We also get free books mailed to our home once a month or so
Honestly, if I were you, I wouldn't feel subconscious. It seems like you're pretty open about this, and explain that you're interested in learning more about Jewish culture since your baby descends from Jewish parentage...not necessarily the first time you meet them, but as you get together. Not all Jews know all that much about their own Judaism, and while I can't speak about the specific people you'll be meeting and their knowledge, it's not unheard of at all for someone to come wanting to learn more. Sounds like it will be fun and no one will feel like you're intruding. I say go for it if it's this important to you, as it seems to be

ITA. Learning MORE is never a bad thing for a child.

[Handmaiden]

I think it is wonderful that you are wanting to learn more about Jewish culture. I think you might find that this is a great experience for your family and that you will enjoy incorporating many traditions into your lifestyle as you raise your children. I would find a Rabbi and talk about this. You will want to find a liberal congregation, and you will likely find that they are very welcoming to you. If you are unfamiliar with the congregations in your area, you could contact a Unitarian Universalist minister and explain your situation. Unitarian Universalist ministers are very familiar with situations like yours and can really help you find the information you seek. I know it sounds strange to advise someone to seek out a minister to find a rabbi, but Unitarian congregations are often made up of people from a mixture of religious backgrounds and they really understand situations like yours. Also, there are several good books by Anita Diamante that may be of help to you.
One is called Choosing A Jewish Life. see this link.
http://www.anitadiamant.com/books.asp?page=books
Good luck and enjoy learning and growing your family.