Going INSANE from all the touching... any advice? Please!?

[Hokulele]

DD is four years old and for a few *months* now has been driving me CRAZY with her need to touch my breasts. It is seriously affecting our relationship. Any time we are together she wants me to hold her and when I do she either tucks her head down so that her face is against my nipple (on the outside of my shirt) or she rubs her hand up and down or around my breast. She does this out in public, at home, anywhere. She probably grabs for my chest 20x a day.

We semi-cosleep (meaning she starts in her bed and gravitates to our bed in the middle of the night.) I often wake because she is caressing my breast in her sleep - not when she's fully asleep but often when she's dosing. Once she'd even unbuttoned my shirt and had her hand on my nipple. ARGH!

I have a 13 month old who is still nursing so I don't know how much of this behavior is a reaction to having a little sibling who gets to nurse more often than DD does. At this point I'm only nursing DD once every few days - not because I thought it would help this situation but because I just.can't.stand. to have her touching me so often.

Has anyone else experienced this? Please help! It is ruining our nursing relationship for sure. I used to love nursing her but now I don't enjoy it at all anymore. But I think it is also just ruining our relationship in general. I flinch when she comes near me for a snuggle now. We talk about it all the time. I get quite angry with her, reflexively, because I have a physical reaction to it. Nothing seems to be helping.

I've been a firm believer in CLW but now I'm questioning everything. Did I cause this to happen because I allowed to her nurse into too old an age??

Any advice at all will help! Please!! I'm going crazy!

[east carolina]

My DS is 4 and still nursing. Maybe not as often your DD, but he also really likes my breasts, smiles and lunges at them when he sees me without a top on, strokes the one he's not nursing on when he's nursing on the other side.

Learning manners takes alot of time and repetition, but kids need to know what makes you feel uncomfortable. I'm sure you touch them in appropriate ways and don't go past their comfort zones, and children learn how to treat us with the same respect. Be gentle and tell her what bother you, offer alternatives like holding hands, and tell her that you wouldn't do anything to make her feel uncomforable either.

I'm stict about nursing manners, and DS has had a few annoying habit throughout the years (biting being the worst). He knows that if he does something annoying while nursing, I end the nursing session and am ready to resume when he's ready to nurse nicely.

I'm sure it's just a phase. Try to think of the nice times you spent nursing her in the past and try to bring some of that energy back into you relationship.

[purple indigo]

I hear you, I totlaly feel the same way nursing pregnant. I've contemplated weaning, just because the stress is bad on our relationship, but my nearly 2-year old is not up or that, and plus the stress of a move is bad on him...

I decided that it was best all around if I set limits on me and him. I don't do two things and nurse (if I'm having a conversation, phone or live, and it gets stressful, I get major creepy crawlies, and detatch DS unfairly). I also expect DS to keep his hands down. No touching at all. And if he persists, I detach, and stop.

I also am doing a countown from 20 or 10, as fast or slow as I can take, to let him know when to detatch. The deal we have is I warn him with this when he's about to detach, and he keeps his hands away from the breast area, too. If I put my hand up to detach, he'll bat it away, but not when I count. Often, if I count down, he'll detatch early, and ask to nurse from the other side. That consideration helps a lot, and I reinfrce it with smiles. SOmetimes I can give im more that way; sometimes I continue from the number I left off on. (I also count faster or slower if he's oing something comfortable or uncomfortable). I also explain i's not his fault I feel bad about nursing, which helped a LOT when i did it the first time. And apologize when I'm behaving badly.

Maybe you should bring your daughter into the conversation and explain, if you haven't, how her touching you is affecting you.