Anna, check out this thread on ultrasounds: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ght=ultrasound
There are some good links in there too to some other discussions on the subject.
I think the decision is very personal, and very much worth reading a little backgound on.
I'm not doing any u/s including doppler. That means I have to wait until 20 weeks or so to hear the hb, but I feel good about that. I allowed the Doppler in my last pg, mostly because I thought I was losing it, and did, but it felt physically uncomfortable to me. And I know babies hate it. The thing that really got me was that it can mess with cell division and thats pretty much all thats going on in there right now. Having said that, some women could worry themselves to the point of negative effects on their pg if they do not have an u/s or hear the hb, so its better to have it if it will ease your mind that much.
As for an internal, some do, some don't. They are not necessary, you have the right to refuse, they can be irritating to your cervix, paps aren't necessary and can give you misleading results (not to mention that you can't do anything to correct an abnormality now anyway).
Appointments are exciting! Enjoy!
3under3, don't feel bad, we all have our own circumstances and I am sure you are a great mom! You belong here, we all do! We each have our own varying degrees of crunchiness, but the intent is the same.
Jen, I think if I had been on the other board you are talking about, I would have gotten seriously depressed by now. Not to mention, feel like a complete NUTBALL!
Lazuli, glad you are back and congrats on finding a great doc! I'm glad your dh is supportive, moms and mils can be too much sometimes, you have my support too!