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September Mommies - Feb. thread! - Page 12

post #221 of 355
Happy Tues! Dar es Salaam does have seasons, although the temperature ranges from about upper 80s to mid 90s. The best indicator of seasonal change is the mud, mosquitoes and fruit. There is a big quantity change for all three during the rains. The short rains happened last month and our street was swimming in mud.


I'm very relieved to hear people say they are not too perfect. I really like imperfect people, especially those who admit it! I think kids are more relaxed too if they are not always forced to reach a standard of perfection and can see when their parents need to relax.

Lazuli, sorry about your bad week, but glad to hear you are feeling better. It sounds like many are nearing the end of the m/s period.

Anna, your family sounds great!

Jen, I just started knitting last year and have been learning by book only, so I've really learned some bad habits (those drawings are quite difficult to figure out sometimes). I completed a baby blanket for a friend and a poorly fitting hat, half finished a sweater and then unraveled the whole thing when I got to the armpits and realized I had no clue what to do next! When I get back to the States I plan to pick it up full swing. I got pretty obsessed with trying lots of swatches! I love it! Maybe I can work up to a diaper cover, but those *&^% leg holes are intimidating.

Ok all, back to the annual report...hardly in progress.

-steph
post #222 of 355
Morning All.

Jen~ yeah, its my DH losing peices of tooth. I really feel for him.
He was in some pain Sat. and Sun. He said he wanted to cry it hurt so bad. There have only been a few occasions where I've seen him cry, and then it was only a tear or two.

If I don't get too hungry I can hold off the nausea.
But I also can't get too full.
I've also found I really like cream cheese right now.
Cream cheese on whole wheat toast, cream cheese and bagals.
I feel I'm eating more, but wish I could eat more healthfully.
Yesterday I had spagettiOs for lunch.
I'll just take it one day at a time.
post #223 of 355
Jodie - you just eat that cream cheese, girl! I wish I had some for my bagel this morning but all I've got is almond butter.

Steph - hoo boy. Do I have patterns for you! We can wile away the summer knitting hats and booties and diaper covers! Leg holes, schmleg holes. Easy as cake.

Adventuregirl - your post about ultrasound gave me a lot to think about last night, as we are going to a midwife appt today and I'm sure she's going to want to use the Doptone to listen for a heartbeat. I spent a lot of time (including a couple of hours at 4 AM) thinking about whether I want to do this or not. I did some research and was alarmed at what I found about Doppler. I'm even more alarmed that I let her try to listen for the heartbeat at 8 weeks. I don't want to expose Sprout to anything bad, but I would be so reassured to hear a little pitter patter. Then again, with my padded tum, they might not hear anything anyway. What I came down to was that if her bimanual exam indicated to her that something wasn't right developmentally, then she could check with the Doptone, but if it feels like a 12-week pregnancy should, then we will wait to listen. I hope that I won't have to argue with her and I hate losing sleep over decisions, but I guess I should get used to it, huh?

My darling kitty Sydney is lying snuggled up in my comforter, looking at me as if to ask why I'm not lying next to her rubbing her belly, and you know, that's a great question.

jen
post #224 of 355
Well, I definitely belong here more than I do on other boards! Some of the stuff that goes on there is laughable!
The thing is, I am a really open-minded person, in all aspects. I like the idea of cloth diapering, co-sleeping(which we do alot of), natural living, etc. I just don't do alot of it, mostly because of laziness (well, laziness is such a strong word!) or lack of knowledge, or personal preference.
For example. Our first son is circ'd because, well- that's what "everyone" did, isn't it?

Now, after having problems with his little penis having adhesions, and never feeling that they did it "right", I wandered over to the circumcision threads here out of curiosity one day. After doing research, there's no WAY we will circ this baby if it's a boy.

I have tried breastfeeding all of my children. I never lasted longer than three weeks because I could not get past the pain I was experiencing, despite getting help from lactation consultants, LLL, etc. I SO want to BF. I really do. I think there's nothing like it!
And, I will try again. And I am determined to make it work this time. But, if it doesn't work out again, so be it.

So, I kind of pick and choose how crunchy I'm going to be.
I'm really 80% Diva, and 20% Earth Mama!

Anyway, thanks for listening, and for the support!
post #225 of 355
3under3, we can always use some Diva energy around here! I know my Diva side is about 5%, so you could teach me a thing or two.

Jen, I'm glad the u/s posting was timely for you, hate to have made you lose sleep tho. I have to tell you that while you were losing sleep, I dreamt about you. In my dream you told us all that Jo was pregnant too and you will both be having babies around the same time. I was thinking, those poor women! Its like twins, but with two separate births! And who is going to take care of them!?! Don't know where my mind comes up with these things!

Well, my midwife is away for the week, so I will have to wait until next week to make my appt. But that is good, I'm not in a rush at all, but I guess I am getting excited. Soon enough!
post #226 of 355
OH my gosh, I am laughing so hard that I'm crying. The thought of Jo and I pregnant and due at the same time is so scary and hilarious!!! But just think, we could both nurse... and only one of us would need to get up at a time, and we could take turns!!! :LOL Here honey, it's your turn to nurse!! Just imagine.

Jo is totally psyched about the parenting thing, but she would never, ever, ever consent to being pregnant. She has no interest whatsoever in being pregnant, giving birth or breastfeeding - for herself. She's very interested in it for me. And I've been interested in it for a long time because my mother has been telling me for a long, long time how empowering and wonderful natural childbirth is.

The funniest thing is that nature gave Jo quite an ample bosom - she looks like she'd be a natural nurser We joke about Sprout rooting around on her to try to nurse.

On the bra tip: I found a wonderful bra yesterday called the Leisure Bra, made by Playtex - 4 clasps in front, no wires, mostly cotton with a little spandex, stretchy, stretchy, stretchy. $12 too at an outlet. Hope it works out... sure feels comfy now. And I wore my bra-top made by Noppies that I got at that going-out-of-business sale for the first time yesterday - I could wear it 24 hours a day. SO comfy and yet so supportive too, somehow. Might ask for 2 or 3 more for my birthday.

I turn 30 in 2.5 weeks!

xo, j
post #227 of 355
hmmm, you know Jen, it is far from unheard of for adoptive moms to nurse..... my friend out west breast fed her 3 mos old little girl adopted from China.
Sorry, just popped in to say hi.......
post #228 of 355
O.k., so now that I've figured out I want to cloth diaper, I'm nervous about having had an ultrasound. The nurse also found the heartbeat with a doppler. I've been told by several people that it won't hurt the baby. Were they wrong??? Yikes!

Also, is there a tendency now NOT to have boys circumcised at birth? This sounds silly but all of my superstituous relatives back in Louisiana tell me they have this feeling that I'm having a boy. If they're right, I want to be informed.



Thanks everyone!

Kim
post #229 of 355
Kim there is an article on this website (the magazine part) there is a link to it in the circum threads. It adamantly convinced my dh that if we have a boy, he will under no circumstances be cut--and he started out believing that his son should look like him.
post #230 of 355
hi everybody,

it's so great to hear that some of you are starting to feel better. i'm behind most of you and it's nice to hear that there should be some relief on the horizon.

jen, i'd love the recipe for that soup! sounds really good. also if you need more new bras, have you tried bravado bras? you can find them online and they are a really comfortable nursing bra. you could certainly wear it through your pregnancy too.

lazuli, i'm so sorry to hear you had such a rough week last week but glad things are looking up now!

3under3, you certainly belong here! also, i cannot stand the thought of chicken either right now.

anna, your family does sound wonderful! i'm looking forward to hearing about your appointment.

steph, i'm about the same as far as knitting goes. i taught myself from books and websites and i'm sure i'm not doing everything right. but i love love love it!! i have several patterns from www.littleturtleknits.com and they are great. i have made a few pair of the wool longies (pants and diaper cover all in one).

jodie, poor dh!! i've been loving cream cheese lately too! it has protein so that's good.

jen, hope you have a great appointment today!

kim, there is lots of good information showing that circumcision is a totally unnecessary and painful surgery so lots of parents are choosing to skip it. i think insurance companies aren't covering it as much anymore either. we did not circ noah and i am SO glad. do check out the board here that relates to circ.

so, the u/s issue.... i need to check that one out. there is always so much to learn. sometimes it feels easier to just stick my head in the sand and go with what "everybody else is doing," but i know that's not the best way. we will have at least one u/s because noah has a heart condition and i want to make sure this baby's heart is healthy enough to not require surgery either while in utero or right after birth. but i need to do the reading to decide about routine doppler use. it was so nice and reassuring to hear noah's heartbeat when i was pregnant with him. but if it is dangerous....

happy day to all. naptime for me!
post #231 of 355
Kim, don't stress yourself out too much over something you have already done. Remember, thousands of women have u/s and Doppler every day. I think I recently read that 95% of women have some form of u/s technology during their pg. There is definitely not that high an incidence of birth defects. The issue is that we don't know for sure how safe this technology is, there could be long term effects that we can't trace. I can't regurgitate everything here, but I would suggest reading some background on it, if it does concern you. If you change your mind, you can make decisions based on that in the future, but its not worth the worry over something that's already done. Like Chrissy's son, it can be a very useful tool, when you weigh the risks, u/s is much less than a life-threatening condition.

I second the motion to visit the circ board here if you are looking for more info on that decision.

Oh just wait, there are cans of worms around every corner here! MDC has made me a different person, there is so much info out there!

Chrissy, I know what you mean about sticking your head in the sand feeling. I get that too when overwhelmed with info regarding some decisions. I usually just say no, not doin it, until I figure out a good reason to. I haven't very thoroughly researched some pg testing and all of the vaccinations, so right now I'm not doing any of it. That's my form of sticking my head in the sand. Although I have a feeling that once I figure it all out, I prob won't have to make any changes.

Shannon, its great to see you, how are you doing?
post #232 of 355
Shannon,
I checked out your profile after noticing your dogs... and now I see that you're a dog trainer, wow! Do you have any suggestions as to how to introduce my baby to all of my critters (3 dogs and 3 cats). I don't want to banish my dogs to the back yard forever. They have had access to the back yard whenever they want and it would be wrong for me to just kick them out. However, they've never been around children. Should I get a trainer or consultant to come into my home (I know, adventuregirl, cans of worms!)? Just let me know your thoughts.

On another note, I hope you are feeling better. You seem to be a really strong person. And, this is going to sound corny, but isn't it comforting to have your pets there for you at a time like this... to see their sweet, goofy faces when you get down? I know it helped me.

Kim: :
post #233 of 355

Animals and appt report!

Kim: I have heard that one of the best ways to introduce your cats (and I am assuming that it will probably make a difference to dogs, too)- if you are birthing outside of home - is to send home a blanket that smells like your baby with your partner so that the cats can get used to the smell.

If you're birthing at home, they're going to know something major is going on, and they may already be intuiting that there's another creature goin' on inside you. They're sensitive that way!! I wouldn't be surprised if animals have an instinctual knowledge about birth, regardless of species. I have observed cats and dogs behaving differently when I am sick, I can only imagine that if they are allowed to be nearby for the birth that they are fully aware of what is going on. I guess it's the leaving and then returning with a squirmy squalling thing that's most alarming for them, since they weren't in on the action. Shannon I'm thrilled that you're still with us and I look forward to your educated insights in this matter.

My appt today with the midwife was good. She was alarmed at my weight loss (down 7 lbs from the last appt for a grand total of 13) and I am - for the first time in my entire life - under orders to GAIN WEIGHT. She wants me to eat nutritious food that packs a caloric punch and I am *supposed to* eat cheese, avocadoes and milk with some fat in it. Never, ever have I been advised to gain weight in my life, having been a chunk of a kid from about age 7, and it's really kind of an incredible feeling! She honored my request to not use the Doptone and told me that the one real reason why she would really like me to consider a 16-week ultrasound is to check the placement of the placenta. She said many women who have a low-lying placenta do have bleeding while they are pregnant, but some don't and you don't find out about it until you're in labor - and then it's too late to do anything about it and you are stuck with a c-section. When I think about it, I think that one u/s in order to be more sure about vaginal birth might be a reasonable tradeoff. I will continue to think and sleep on it, maybe if I bring it into my sleep, Sprout will offer some insight. (I've already had one dream about him being VERY angry about being born by c-section.)

Time for dinner... sauteed sea scallops! Yum! With spaghetti and carrots on the side. The carrots are just an attempt to get a vegetable in me I have to go back to the clinic in 2 weeks and get on a scale. I told her I'd rather come back in 2 weeks than go out and buy a scale :LOL She didn't understand that one.... but we have a no-scale rule in our house.

xo - j

ps: Shannon: Jo's reply to the suggestion that she could indeed bf her adopted child: nowayhuhuhhellnoidon'tthinkso. *sigh* guess that makes me the sole milk bar.
post #234 of 355
Hello ladies!

Had a very good talk with my hubby about the whole u/s issue and got some very supportive feedback from him. I would like very much to hear the heartbeat, but can trust myself and my body to wait untill it can happen without using u/s. He suggested that if there is anything they suggest i do or allow that I am uncomfortable with that I can say no, not today. Perhaps after we discuss it we will go head with something that initially I am uncomfortable with, but there is nothing that can't wait a little longer. If they don't like that and think I'm being difficult.... too damn bad for them!

so I am feeling a little more empowered about this upcoming visit and less nervous. I just wish i had done all this research and soul searching BEFORE getting pregnant! Now i feel overwhelmed with all these cans of worms, popping up everywhere i turn! ah well.. many more weeks ahead in which we can discuss all these wormy details. Te hee hhe.

I am off to go SWIMMING!!! Yeah! Hubby got us a membership at the YMCA and i can't hardly wait to slip into the water and stretch out! All that lovely enveloping water to relax in......

Love and kisses to all
Anna
post #235 of 355
Alright, I'll see if I can shed some light on dog-baby issues. I can start by saying that I see more parents concerned about whether the two will co-habitate well than I see dogs that don't like the baby. That said, I am currently working with someone now and it's frustrating as I know there is nothing that can be done but the husband is adament about keeping the dog--o.k. allow me to clarify--there are things to be done, but my question to this couple was "Can you live with a dog you can NEVER trust---and I mean NEVER?" and also at what stage of aggresion are you prepared to draw that line. That said, I just did a search on my client records and in the past 20 months I have only seen that and one other dog with true aggresion issues towards their own children. (this is out of 96 different clients)
Here are the issues you must consider.......
1. The more animals present the greater the risk of some competitive behavior between them during which the baby could become the object of contention (doesn't happen often, but I've seen it)
2. I don't care how nice your dog is, you never leave a dog and child alone, I love my dogs to death but they are not furry people and there are primitive instincts burried there, you never know when your dog may decide to act like a dog--especially if the pack leader (hopefully this is you!) is not right there.
3. Dog's and older children should not "play" together. A little girl was killed out here about 5 yrs ago--same old statement, the dog has always been SO friendly, she loves kids! All this is true, she loved her kid so much that when she perceived rough housing as an attack on "her kid" she attacked the other child and a 5 yr old vs a 130 lb dog is a fight that resulted in a dead child--the thing to keep in mind--that dog did nothing wrong--dog's do not sit and analize a situation and think to themselves, "oh I bet they're just playing"

Now how to make the transition easiest....
1. Before you are due, very slowly reduce the amount of attention your dog is receiving--this way he won't "blame" the new baby on this life change-that and it will not be a drastic and sudden change. If it turns out you do have more time for the dog after the baby is born, he'll be happy.
2. Yes the blanket trick is always a handy one. Don't know if actually works but it sure can't hurt.
3. Leave things out that will be there when baby arrives so he gets used to the new things that he isn't allowed to touch.
4. Lot's of excercise, a tired dog is almost always a good dog
5. Begin doing some kinda mean things to your dog and rewarding him with food when they happen. Eg, pull Fido's tail, then as he turns to look at you, give him a special treat. Do this with paws, ears, tail and try grabbing hunks of skin on the dogs side--basically the same movements a young baby may make on the soft furry thing. Done properly you will have a dog like Havoc who when stepped on or hurt comes to me for a treat rather than reacting to the object that hurt him.
5. Make sure you are feeding the dog actual meals, no free feeding!!

As for cats, I know very little about them, I have one but he's pretty sure he's a dog--even plays fetch with a full size tennis ball.
Sorry for the length, but I figure if you have no interest in dogs, you'll have skimmed down to the next post by now!
If you have any more questions, feel free to ask!
post #236 of 355
Oh, btw, as for how I'm doing......
Well I come and go, saw the OB today, she has started the referral process to a fertility clinic. She is confident we can figure out what is up and get me to the end of 9 mos.
My mil was driving me crazy but today I told her to take the big stick out of her wine soaked a$$. Now she isn't talking to either of us which we find somewhat blissful.
Well off to bed, I'm still very tired.
post #237 of 355
Hi all,

That was very interesting dog information, and I don't even have a dog, but will remember the advice if ever around them. Shannon, it is GREAT to see you posting!

Three cheers for cream cheese!!! Did I mention that I found some Philly at a store here and now am on carton number 4 in two weeks? I eat it for breakfast and dinner. Lunch has become crackers because this is the worst food time of the day for me.

Ok, now I'm really waffling on the u/s issue. I have my head completely submerged in the sand on this one. I really want to get one because I will only see a provider two times before June 1st and I need some reassurance here. I'll have to surf around for some info now after reading the last few posts. : I have had to do so many semi-dangerous things because of my present location...I'm on anti-malarials and am using mosquito repelent heavily because getting malaria is a bigger risk than the meds. Just going to and from work exposes me to huge risks in terms of pollution and drivers, plus the water here is probaby ultra-leaded. So I should avoid other potential risks. Oh geez, big can of worms there. I'll stop.

I'd rather surf for knitting patterns and keep my head buried for a couple more weeks. Maybe then I'll be naturally reassured by a growing belly!

-steph
post #238 of 355
Good morning!!

There really is a little babe growing inside of me!!

Yes, all, I did go yesterday to get an u/s. I know, I read all of your posts against it and initially I never thought I'd get one. But-with my last m/c, the babe stopped developing at 8weeks and I didn't m/c till 14 weeks. It was pretty bad. Anyway, this pregnancy, I haven't had much nausea nor have my breasts been that sore. Soooo, for my sanity I needed to know. And there was a little .
Please don't throw bottles or abandon me : :LOL

Definitely those considering it, do your homework first

Have a great day!
post #239 of 355
Greenbeing-

I think what seems to be cool around this thread is that noone is going to judge you for your decisions. Believe me, I was plenty worried about that. Don't feel bad- you made a choice, and good for you. Yay! A healthy, beating heart!

I had an U/S yesterday because the Dr. couldn't hear the heart beating- and by the end of 12 weeks they should be able to pick it up with a doppler. So we did an U/S, and there it was, pumping away! I do have some extra....ahem.....padding on my tummy, so that could be why the doppler couldn't pick it up.
I can't believe I am starting week 13 today!
Wheeeee!

Side note to Jen:
I am in a bidding was on eBay over a cool new red toaster!
Wish me luck!
post #240 of 355
Greenbeing~ I'm so glad you got to see your baby's .
When I go for my next Midwifes appt. I'm going to let them try and find the heartbeat. I don't think I would want to if this were my first pregnancy. Since I've had m/c in the past I would really like to be reassured that there really is someone alive and growing in there.

I think our cats will be ok with a baby. Since we are having a homebirth they will be there for the action. I have brought a baby over, (they go and hide)and children have been over several times and they go and hide. I hope it will be different when the child is actually ours and not a stranger.
We will have to "train" them to stay off the baby stuff.
Zada likes baskets, when I brought home the moses basket she jumped right in and started claiming it as hers.:LOL
Right now its in the closet(out of sight out of mind), but as we get closer to baby and get more baby stuff we will bring it out and let her know its not hers. Or we might not get it out till baby comes and put baby in it and let her know it is baby's and not hers.
Guess we'll see what developes.
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