could use a hug

[texaspeach]

God this makes me sick.

I got the "baby feels big" schpeel today. The m/w I saw today measured me at +2cm ahead of where they would expect (39cm instead of 37cm) - the m/w I saw the last two times measured me right on, but this one thinks I feel "big" and the baby feels "big". She suggested I have an u/s to estimate fetal weight after 39 weeks. I told her I was uncomfortable with that because they are inaccurate (up to TWO POUNDS off in either direction!) she countered with "our sonographers are usually spot on"... ok well, what happens if baby measures big I asked. Induction. For "big baby". She even went so far to say that inducing at 40 weeks could help me to avoid an insturmental delivery or surgical delivery. If I'm induced, I have to be confimed to bed for monitoring. If I'm confined to bed, I'll probably need an epidural to deal with the pain of induced contractions. Which will lead to more intervention.. which will probably end up in a c/s. Big baby is NOT a medical reason for induction.

Prior to this the other m/ws suggested that I was measuring large for dates because I'm short (I'm under 5ft tall) and my uterus has no where else to go but out. I'm not measuring any bigger than I have been the whole time. What changed? wtf? I had two u/s after 20 weeks and the baby was measuring in the 42nd and 46th percentiles, I don't feel like he's a huge baby. (eta: the u/s were to check on possible heart issues)

We hired the doula we met with last night and I've sent her an email asking for studies so I can go back armed with info.

I am SO MAD. I'm just heart broken and feel betrayed. Just in tears over here.

[momoftworedheads]

hugs Amanda! I would just politely decline the u/s. Noone can make you have it. I love when Drs do this, the last person I know this happened to, had a baby that was supposted to be 9-10 lbs, baby was 7 lbs 15 oz.

Just stay strong and s!!!!

Take care,

[Michigan Mama]

I'm sorry, Amanda. I agree with Jen - you are in charge of your medical care, not them.

Would there be a way to get in touch with one of the other midwives and discuss it with them so it doesn't become such a big issue? (No pun intended, really.)

When it comes right down to it, they can't make you do it. So if your gut tells you all is well, then stick to your guns.

[GradysMom]

induction sounds sooo unwise. your body needs time to really jack up on natural relaxin to aid the pelvis in openning... so if there happens to be a big baby you have the best shot at accomidating baby when baby and your body decide... no one else


!!!!!

[Hezzie]

If I could leave Austin, I'd come have lunch with you, too!

Stick to your guns and say NO. U/S can be very inaccurate, no matter what your MW says. There's not enough evidence to the contrary, unless you can find some pretty good studies and I don't think there are any. Your body was made for birthing naturally. Heck, I've heard of 4'10 ladies popping out 10+ lb babies without trouble! Your body isn't broken and don't let those MW try and convince you otherwise! Get your partner and/or your doula to back you up on your decision if they give you heck. No one can make you induce, it's your decision and you have the right to refuse.

[KristinaMarie]

Amanda, I know excatally where you are coming from. I got the same exact speech today. It totally lowers the confidence that I have in my body, even thoght it shouldn't. He even mentioned an "elective section" Like thats going to happen. Needless to say since I have been home I have been doing research and I will tell him no thanks, my body will do what it is supposed to when it is supposed to.

[sky_and_lavender]

Amanda, my due date sister! I'm sorry you got this spiel! It sounds, like the others said, that it would be wise to decline the ultrasound and trust in your body. Don't give into the midwife's fear tactics.

I understand feeling betrayed. I would feel that way, too. and strength to you, sister!

[chi_mama]

sorry Amanda, I understand why you are upset. Just stick to your beliefs. I've really never understood the whole "big baby" thing anyways... I mean why is a big baby harder than a small baby w/ a big head?

my friend was just induced yesterday b/c of GD and a "big baby"... or b/c the doctor is supposed to be off for 5 days starting Fri (her due date is sat). I still haven't heard from her or her husband which is concerning me a lot.

FWIW I was induced w/ ds at 41+ weeks. It wasn't terrible but I hated being confined to bed, the constant monitor, the IV. I couldn't even get to the bathroom b/c of all the equipment. I have always wished I'd held out a few more days at least instead of agreeing.

[Spring Sun]

Aw, hang in there mama. I would refuse too, then talk to someone, maybe a local lay midwife, that would be happy to give you some reassurance.

[Ceili]

Aw Amanda, I'm sorry. On Tuesday when my midwife was checking me, she commented that the baby "felt big" and inquired about how big ds was when he was born. Baby Girl was born yesterday and was a full pound smaller than ds was... same sized head though. I agree with chi mama, I don't get the whole "big baby" thing.

[texaspeach]

thanks guys.

The more I think about it, the madder I get.

What if I were someone who didn't know u/s was inaccurate for estimating weight? or that for first time moms induction doubles the chance of c/s? What if I were someone who didn't know I could say no?

I don't even think this m/w read my chart I've only seen her one other time (you rotate through 4 mws, but I've seen one mw a lot more than the others and the other 3 only once each)

I'm hoping baby is ready to be born sooner rather than later so I just don't have to deal with the u/s & induction talk at all. Not holding my breath though.

[dorenavant]

HUGS.
My OB was trying to scare me into scheduling a repeat c/s on Monday saying he estimated that this baby was "a full pound larger" than my first...who was only 7 lbs. Um, an 8 lb baby is hardly too large to birth, dude.
Hoping your labor comes soon.

[usmcwfe]

I'm sorry.. You know your body and your baby and when it comes down to it you're in charge. There is so much variability with measurements, a week or two is no big deal. Stick to your guns and keep telling yourself that you make the final call. Hugs!!!

[brooklynbabymama]

also, Ina May always says that the science of measuring the pelvis is a) inexact, more like guesswork, b) made less precise when they gauge you based on normal exam position, on your back, which closes the pelvic opening something like 30%, and c) only really intended as a tool to diagnose actual pelvic abnormality which is incredibly rare. even if your baby is big, the odds are overwhelmingly in your favor that your body can push out what it grew. fwiw, my mw tells me that it's often easier to push out a big baby as they pave their own way...the small ones like to get hooked on your bones on the way out.

[Marlet]

Saw this on new posts.

Don't listen to them. I have small babies (my "big" one was 6 b 13 oz) with larger heads. I went to establish myself as a patient so that I could get a gender scan later on and received a dating ultrasound at like 13-14 weeks. I know my kids have big heads. I know they are tiny. They could see all this in my chart. They were already telling me at 13 weeks the baby is "measuring large" based off the head measurement. So much so that they changed my due date based on that one measurement. : I know it's all junk.

Hang in there! I think they (general they) are so used to finding something "wrong" because the average person (especially first time moms it seems) are expecting it.

[Mamatoabunch]

Bad medwife, your baby is not too big mama. Decline the U/S and let this gobbledygook roll off and forget it. I measured, UP/UC, last pregnancy, 44 at 38, she was bigger and came face up at over 10lbs, no big deal.

[jojojojojo]

Originally Posted by chi_mama

sorry Amanda, I understand why you are upset. Just stick to your beliefs. I've really never understood the whole "big baby" thing anyways... I mean why is a big baby harder than a small baby w/ a big head?

My doctor told me the other day that the concern was more about the shoulders than the head. I said "No problem, my husband's head is gigantic, and it looks like this one is too. The head will pave the way for the shoulders."

I'm getting the size estimate ultrasound next week, though we're still hoping I go into labor naturally.

[HappyMommaBear]

Fight it for all you're worth.

It is EXTREMELY rare that a baby is too big for the mother to give birth. Other than that, which is not likely, there is not reason to fear having a big baby. (I've heard that the bigger ones help more and are actually easier, but I don't know personally)

I am a firm believer that pitocin is, in most cases, totally evil. I blame it for my c/s. I transferred from home due to failure to progress (in my mw's defense, I'd been laboring for 40 hours and never got past 3 cm) We induced, thinking that it would push me over the edge and 19 hours after that I had to break down and get the epidural because I was too exhausted to function. so then I was strapped to a bed, on my back, and the pit was still going strong. Finally, the baby's heart rate dropped too low and too consistently, because of the fake contractions, which were on top of each other. We're talking triple peaks. So then I had to do a cesarean, because we were afraid of brain damage due to lack of oxygen. Talk about polar opposite from our planned, peaceful home birth.

Beginning one unnecessary medical intervention will only lead to more. I would need SERIOUS health reasons to be willing to induce. As you said, "Big baby" is no reason to induce. I've known of people who did, then ended up with cesareans, and 6 lb. babies because the ultrasound was so far off. There is just no way to know. And it's borrowing trouble to even worry about it. Your body was designed for this specific purpose. It knows what to do. And as long as it is allowed to work as it should, you should be ok.
Also, as you said, being on your back would be very detrimental - I would think more so for a bigger baby. You're fighting gravity that way!

I hope you can fight this and go into labor on your own. I'll be thinking of you.

[mamadelbosque]

Ugh, that sucks. I would not let myself be induced due to supposed 'big baby'. Tell them to bugger off... and if needs be I'd just show up to the hospital when you go into labor.

[ohiomommy1122]

HUgs Mama- they cannot FORCE you to induce so stand your ground and REFUSE most mamas will not grow babies they are to big to deliver, I hate all the "your babies to big so we'll induce BS) thats what they did with my 2nd and she was in NICU for days then at 10 days old she stopped breathing and had a grand Mall seizre- I feel this was all due to the induction I dont think she was ready to come out yet.

I'm so sorry you are going through this bwoman birth big babies allo the time the July board had quite a few 10 pounders and and 11 pounder all with no problems I just birthed a !0.2 pounder myself with NO PROBLEMS.

Hang in there MAMA stand your ground GOOD LUCK!