****April 2010 after loss(es)?****

[ArtsyHeartsy]

I hope it's okay to start this thread, I just wanted a place for us specific to this DDC to have a place too outside of the PAL threads. (I'm a little scared to even be posting here!)

Here's where I am today:

I'm trying to be calm. happy. calm. un-paranoid. calm. optimistic. calm...

:Not working!

My last two pg's I was excited, and miscarried, so I am really scared to be happy...I know, it's rediculous but I don't have that happy innocence anymore, kwim?

I got my bfp on Monday, the lines have only darkened from ~no dh can't see them~ to ~now if he tries really hard he can!~ Still faint. I know I am only about 14 dpo, but I am SOOOOO nervous. I did get a (slightly darker no-squint) bfp on a $store test but I just want a big fat dark line on those stupid internet cheapies. Does anyone have the same problem with the IC's?

I am on progesterone and low dose aspirin. I am going in for my hcg quants tomorrow and Monday but I am so SCARED! I mean, I want to go, but I am really, really scared about the results.

I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer, or just whiney, but I want to be happy and am too freaked out. I know there are others in the same boat....can we freak out together until this thread is long forgotten on page 83?

[Mandynee22]

I am! I left the board yesterday and cancelled my first Dr apt thinking I was MCing but after some research, I'm pretty sure I had a bartholin's abscess that ruptured. I never even heard of that but after reading about it/seeing pictures I'm darn near positive. I'm going to call the Drs back today and try again.
I guess you get jaded to pregnancy after a couple losses.

[floiejo2]

It's pretty sad but so true that you just can't relax and enjoy the early part of a pregnancy after a loss. I had two m/c between my girls and I don't think I'll ever have that innocent joy and happiness that I had with my first pregnancy. I just worry about every little thing that I'm feeling or not feeling. I really try not to but can't help it. I wonder how many of us have had losses, it seems like quite a few. I've been feeling terrible the last few days, very nauseas all day but today I woke up not feeling queasy and of course that has me worried. Now I'm wondering if I just had a little stomach bug since my MS doesn't usually kick in till 6 weeks, which will be Sunday for me. Either that or something's not right. I'm still completely exhausted though.

[sew_crafty_girl]

I'm pregnant after many losses. I can almost relax in the first trimester but it's the early 2nd when I had 3/4 of my miscarriages.

I try and approach each pregnancy positively, not believing it will happen again and try and enjoy every moment. This time especially, I'm not going to rush myself, not going to wish the 1st trimester away.

I've been through a lot of testing. Initial tests showed I had Lupus Anticoagulant, but the most recent, comprehensive tests have been negative, with only my homocystene levels being elevated. So I've done the baby aspirin thing, Heparin injections and now for this pregnancy I'm just doing BA and a prenatal containing extra Folic acid along with close monitoring by a Peri.

Don't know why I miscarry when I had 2 normal, healthy pregnancies previously and so has my 2nd husband.

[ArtsyHeartsy]

Well, it seems that my fears were not so ridiculous. I had my hcg tested and it was only 10, I will retest on Monday, but it looks like a chemical. This just sucks.

[Carley]

mama I'm sorry you're having a hard time! After my last chemical I swore to myself I would never test early again. It just saved me that stress, you know? It's so incredibly common. Almost 2 years later & here I am, God willing to stay. There's always hope mama. I don't know if you have a higher power, but mine was and always will be my rock.

I hope you find some peace!

[finn'smama]

I'm so sorry

[Mandynee22]

I'm so sorry

[slowtime]

Originally Posted by ArtsyHeartsy

Well, it seems that my fears were not so ridiculous. I had my hcg tested and it was only 10, I will retest on Monday, but it looks like a chemical. This just sucks.

I'm so sorry. I hope your retest on Monday surprises you.

[sew_crafty_girl]

I'm sorry. I had a chemical back in October '08.