does this contradict UP? and what do you think of it? - Page 2

[phathui5]

to me it just seems overly optimistic to think that very young children can do the "right" thing for intrinsic reasons.

I think that it is overly optimistic. I think that children need a large amount of guidance, teaching, redirection and correction.

[Dr.Worm]

I tell my DD that I may get mad at her sometimes but I will always love her and no matter what I will never stop loving her. In the example of the kicking, I would say that You may be angry and that is ok but you may not hurt me. I am an adult and I lose my temper sometimes so how can I expect my child to never make mistakes? It just makes me sad I guess. I know I'm not a perfect mother but I hope that my child always knows she is loved unconditionally..not because she always does the right thing. I believe in my heart that the most important thing to a child is the feeling that they are loved and accepted by their parents. That doesn't mean you enjoy the feeling of getting kicked but you can stop a child from doing that by applying The Golden Rule. In fact, I think it helps teach kids love by modeling empathy. For example, a parent's response could be to hit their kid for that...but I think the greatest thing is to respond in love, doesnt mean not being angry but not in an abusive way. I am picturing the 2 responses if my child kicked me and I screamed ;HOW DARE YOU YOU STUPID KID and hit her or if I said kindly but firmly I know you are angry right now but you may not hurt me. We don't hurt the people we love and which one will stick in her mind when she parents her own kids.